How to handle a scheduled csection with a 3 year old

Mrs.RockyM

DD will be a little over 3.5 when this bean is born, and I'm going to have a scheduled c section.  Not quite sure how to handle this with her.  Do I talk to her about it, tell her that morning, let her know the baby will be coming that day...  How much information do I give to her about it.  This will be my second csection, so I kind of get the drill, just not sure what if anything to say to her about it.  Also, I've heard a RCS is much easier, so how soon do you think I should have her visit me at the hospital?

l_elizabeth

We had a 2 year old, so we told him less (I'm sure you could tell your 3 year old more). If I were you, I'd tell her that week that the baby is coming soon, tell her everyday. Then tell her that mommy and daddy are going to stay at the hospital for a few days because the baby is coming. I wouldn't give her specifics on how/what (no need to talk about surgery or anything), and maybe put the emphasis on her being a big sister rather than a new baby coming (aka, "in 3 days you'll be a big sister!"). We had my son come the next day after my RCS, and he did great, though he was scared of the hospital bed and seeing me in that way. Not sure if she'll understand, but maybe have whoever brings her prep her on what she'll see in the room-- like, "mommy is going to be in a big bed, because the doctors need to take care of her". She may be a bit overwhelmed but I'm sure she'll love it.

Is someone staying with her while you're in the hospital? I've also heard of having your older child bring a present for the baby, it helps them connect to the baby and feel special. So maybe go pick out something that she'd like to give the baby, and that will help.

jesspacatc

DD was 2.5 when my DS was born (supposed to be a scheduled section, but water broke 5 days early).  She stayed with my parents while I was in the hospital.  We told her after my water broke that we were going to the drs to and her baby brother was going to come.  My section was 11pm.  She came to visit the next afternoon, while I was up and in the chair.  Still had my foley and IV (hid the foley from her) but she saw my IV and it was a "boo boo".  She didn't see my incision until we were home and I was explaining why I couldn't pick her up.  

Also, the baby gave her a give - DD is obsessed with our cameras so rather than her stealing ours, we bought a Vtech camera that takes real pictures and the baby "bought" that for her. 

HarrietNJMommy

My last c-section I had a 3 year old and a 19 month old. We told them the day before that we were having the baby the next day.

This time, we'll tell them probably a week before and have a countdown, but I will have a 6 year old, a 5 year old and a 3 year old.

I have my kids come the same day to visit the baby - in the afternoon......

GL! 

MombieZombie2

I'd just tell her the day before (if it is scheduled for early in the day) and let her know what the plan is so she feels prepared and it doesn't seem like it's just being sprung on her.

I waited until the second day to have #1 visit.

KariChadDora

My son was 2.5 years old when the baby was born by RCS.   My mother flew into town the day before the surgery to stay at the house with our son while we were in the hospital.  I had to be at the hospital at 5 am to check in so we told him the night before that we were going to the hospital to have/get his baby sister the next morning.  My mom brought him up to visit about 6 hours after the baby was born and I was settled in my room.  He brought a gift for the baby and she had a gift for him.  It all went really well.

 

treble_clef

My son was about to turn 5 when we had our daughter.  We just told him that mommy was going to the hospital to take the baby out.  We told him that mommy would be very tired, so he had to help me and let me rest.  When I got home, he asked me which part of my tummy hurt and asked me if he could see it.  I let him see it because he'd seen my c-section scar (where he came out) before.  

The hardest part for him was to stay home without me for 4 nights, and not getting 100% of my attention. He is very good now, though. 

And my second c-section was easier.  My son came to see me and the baby about 30 minutes after she was born. 

nealbl

LO will almost be three when this one comes along. I have shared a lot with her. We talk about the baby a lot I have told her it is in my belly I have showed her ultrasound pics and we will probably take her with us to the big 20 week ultrasound. For the most part she just looks at me and smiles and I know she doesn't get it but I still talk about it with her. We will definitly be telling her that day that we will be going to have the baby and when she comes to see us she will meet new brother/sister. I am trying to help her pre-adjust as much as possible so we talk about it alot.

Daisy22

With my 2nd, ds1 was only 15 months and had no clue. This time around ds1 is older and knows soemthing is going on. He rubs my belly and says baby but I don't think he actually gets it. We probably won't say much except maybe baby preston is coming tomorrow when the time comes. The boys will be staying at our house with mom, sister and niece just like ds1 did the frist time around.

Like the last time, the boys will not come up to the hospital until the next day. I do not want them to see me with a cath, iv or pain pump. All of that will be gone between 12-24 hours afterwards so that's when they will come up. I don't see the need to rush it and I don't want them to freak out that mommy has stuff on her. DS3's c/s is at 815 on a friday and the boys will come up saturday after their naps. That way dh can take them out to dinner then home to play and put them to bed before he comes back up to the hospital to stay with me and ds3

jssica2

Hi im jessica i have 3yr old when i was pg whith my now 9mouth old my son told ever one i was haveing a baby thomes the tran. i had my husbends family helping me tell my son i was going 2 have a baby and that he was going 2 be a big brother when my belly was big and he can fell the baby kick then he now ok this is rell. when it was time 4 me 2 have my c-s it was a scheduled on at6am i left the house at 4am he was sleeping at that time. he came and seen me that day after the baby was born he tryed 2 come on the bed but we had 2 tell him mommy have a booboo. after that he did not care that much he just now he had a baby sister that is going 2 stay L.O.L