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CurlyQ284
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Shower for SIL - freaking out
CurlyQ284
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in Baby Showers
So SILs family is having a shower. When my mom found out SIL was pregnant, she immediately blurted "and Ill throw a shower for you here too!" I wasnt thrilled because my mom did it for selfish reasons (so she doesnt have to travel up to the other shower). The other shower will be SILs family, this one will be friends so its difderent people. Mom cant have it at her house for various reasons (i can go into them if people want to know), then my dad got sick and my mom is taking care of him so now the entire thing has pretty much been foisted on me, which is exactly what I knew would happen (even if dad wasnt sick,my mom would have gradually 'delegated' everything to me). Then SIL says she has a list of 20 people to invite, which i didnt expect since its a lot more than her bachelorette party. I was going to have it at my house to lower costs but my house can seat about 12. I do live on a farm so people can spill onto the porch which seats another five. That means I have to have the shower earlier before it gets hot, like June 9. SIL is due August 30. Is this too early? I dont know where to have it if not at my house. I cant afford to have it at a venue and foot the food bill for 20 freaking people. Im so stressed and annoyed about being put in thia position but she was promised a shower and I dont have the heart to say "no can do". Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated because im panicking a little.
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Re: Shower for SIL - freaking out
Tell your SIL she can either have a shower for 12 people or she can have it in early June. Throwing a shower shouldn't mean spending more than you can afford.
Good luck!
First of all, don't freak out. As far as the guest list goes, if you invite 20, I bet 15ish will actually come. What is your budget? You can save money on invitations by doing an e-vite instead of mailed invitations. You can also have the shower at 2pm, so you won't have to serve a meal. Just have a nice cake, a veggie tray, chips and salsa and other snack foods.
You can also have inexpensive activities. At one shower I hosted, we played Mad Libs. As each guest arrived, I asked them for a noun/verb/adjective and MTB read aloud the story before opening gifts. You can definitely google and find some inexpensive games.
Do you have a Dollar Tree nearby? They have really cute baby shower decorations - I bought plates, cups, napkins, banners, balloons, etc from there and the decorations were adorable!
This is totally do-able!
Second - learn to tell your mom "no". I realize you aren't going to do that over THIS situation, but clearly you're not surprised by the turn of events, so this isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I know this seems overwhelming but it won't be so bad. I would maybe try to recruit a friend or two to help with food if your mom can't do it.
Have a brunch shower on June 9th, it's not too early. Not everyone has to have a seat. When you eat or when you open presents some of the younger people (not Grandma types) can sit on the floor.
Here's a possible menu:
French toast bake (2 in 9x13 pans)
Quiche (3 or 4 different ones in pie plates)
mixed greens w/toasted almonds, raspberries, goat cheese and raspberry viniagrette
mini muffins & croissants (buy these)
chicken salad or a ham (for sandwiches on the croissants) - buy the chicken salad from your deli
fruit salad or sliced watermelon, cantelope, pineapple and bunches of grapes
cake or cupcakes
cutout cookie or cake pop for favor if you are doing one
drinks - coffee, tea, orange juice, champagne, wine, water
decor - fresh flowers, balloons, coordinating plates, napkins, cups
Delegate the chicken salad/ham, muffins/croissants, cake/cupcakes and favors to your mom. She can order, pick up and pay for them.
Good luck to you!
The PPs all have great suggestions. I just want to add that you sound like a very sweet daughter/SIL to go ahead with the plans.
The date and arrangements (your house/porch) all seem fine, and it should be lovely. Don't freak out - you will do fine.
Good Luck!
1. Argggggg your mom is a turd! I'm sorry to hear about your dad. You are very sweet to try to figure this out for your SIL.
2. Host it at your house; June is perfect. The other suggestion for hosting at your SIL's house is fine too... maybe give her the option!
3. Keeping the cost down:
--Invites: buy a pack of decorative paper at Target and print the invites, or a pack of inexpensive invites to hand-write.
--Decor: some colored balloons on the stair rail & the cake will do
--Food: You don't have to have much if you have the party at the right time!!! 2pm avoids lunch and dinner. You can have some type of finger sandwiches for those who are hungry (chicken salad, or the walmart deli sandwich trays are DELICIOUS and inexpensive!), a relish tray, a cheese ball with crackers, the end
Fruit can be expensive, so maybe skip that?
My secret fancy food that is cheap and to die for is to microwave goat cheese (pasteurized for SIL) with marinara sauce (I like Wolfgang puck's three cheese marinara, under $3), then garnish with fresh diced tomatoes and 'lotsa fresh chopped basil. Serve with a spreading knife and either toast-like crackers (melbas), regular crackers, or little bread slices from the grocery (sold in a bag). MMMMM and looks fancy and tastes expensive! With all the extras going on, you don't really need expensive goat cheese. Walmart also sells a red pepper goat cheese that you pop onto a plate and microwave... also delish!
It sounds like with the smaller guest list it is certainly do-able. I've gone to plenty of showers that just had chairs...no tables for people. We just all sat in a semi circle. Those showers did not include "meals" though...more along the lines of finger food. Wasn't a big deal.
You could also host it in the evening...maybe after the dinner hour and make it just appetizers or desserts. I've gone to those types and it was really nice to get away from the kids and relax with some dessert and a cup of coffee. LOL
BTW...June is not too soon if she is due in August.