Rant

Jhontiel

I am so excited at the idea of having a natural birth. I have been preparing and researching and sending all the info needed to my DH so he can be prepared and be my supportive partner in the experience. Never having been through it before we are hoping for the best but have realistic expectations none-the-less.  

I absolutely HATE that people have the nerve to ask me if I am going to have an epi, and then scoff when I tell them I plan on having a NB. Like "Yeah, that'll go right out the window when your contractions hit!" Excuse me?! I don't mind if your idea of L&D varies from my own, but please do not discount what I am capable of. 

KansasGoa

I'm sorry you're already hearing this from people. Unfortunately, this probably won't be the last time. I learned to share less details with people. The less specific I was, the less they could share their "words of wisdom" with me. It sounds like your DH is supportive, which is great and truly all you'll need. Good luck and you're on the right board for support! 

AnaKat405

I agree with PP.  I'm a fairly private person anyway, so having others aside from DH and my care provider ask about my birth choices is something I view as completely inappropriate. 

I usually say something along the lines of, "since this is a new experience for me I'm going to play it by ear."  If they insist on sharing their experience or recommendations I let them know that "I'm aware of the options available to me.  Thanks, though!"  If they continue to pry (it happens!) I say, "This really isn't my favorite topic of discussion."

jroby9

I also plan on having a natural birth and get very annoyed when people say "oh you'll want the epi" or "no need to be a hero" or (my favorite) "it's not like your child will love you any less if you have an epi."  I realize things happen and I very well may want the epi, but my reasons for wanting a natural childbirth are not to be a "hero" but rather to be able to experience what I feel is the most natural thing in the world.  I learned rather quickly to just keep my mouth shut and not share my views or my birth plan.  And while I do have my own strong reasons for wanting to go natural, I will admit that being able to prove all the naysayers wrong is strong motivation as well! 

jessandandy09

yeah, I have this problem all the time.  I got so frustrated (and hormonal) I started being mean to people for a short while.  When they told me "you'll never be able to do it with out meds"  I started telling them "not only have I done it 2x's before without meds, but clearly I am not a big baby like you!"  I don't believe people are big babies who need pain meds or choose pain meds, but I couldnt stand hearing othere people continue to be so negative towards me.  Like they know me better than I do.  I think every woman should choose what is best for them individually, but please let me make that choice too, ya know?

seraphiclust

lissydee:

People will always have an opinion, and this is no exception.  I think though that these comments stem from people's preconceived notion of what "normal" chidbirth is.  And in our society, its highly medcalised.  So when others speak of something that goes against the grain, people think its "odd."  That and people tend speak from their own experiences.  While they may not realize they are projecting, they are.

You are right, its frustrating.  But I do think that "natural" birth is becoming more common and because so, women feeling more empowered and thus attempting it when they might have previously scoffed at the very idea.

Sadly, the judgement and comments dont end when you are no longer pregnant.  People always have something to say about the way in which others parent.  Its a never ending cycle.

 

This exactly. I got this a lot with DD and honestly it came across from some of them as if they felt attacked by my choice as if I was secretly judging them for getting meds and I absolutely wasn't. To each their own, this was just my choice!

I got my med free birth as planned and you can bet none of them said a word afterwards

BigAppleBiggerBelly

My least favorite line is "they don't give out medals." B!tch, I'm not doing this for bragging rights; I'm doing it because I believe it's what's best for my child and me.