New to this blog...Advice appreciated!

kileyndano

I have a 2 year of my own and my DF has 3 children of his own and is currently in the process of fighting for full custody. We're engaged and we are expecting our first child together and I'm stressed to say the least. Guess I'm looking for advice or words of wisdom on how to maintain sanity and keep stress down. I love all four of the children dearly, the transition to one household has just been pretty rough.

Raspberry807

How old are they?  My kids are 4 and 7, his are 9 and 10, and we are expecting in October.  We keep stress down by meal-planning and making sure the kids get individual time with us.  The kids have chores and are expected to look out for the 4yr old.  It all runs pretty smoothly until we have ball practices or soccer games, then we just split up and get it done!

And every-other Saturday night is date night (or home-improvement project night haha) because all the kids are with their other parents

GL... remember you're a team and help them realize everyone needs to work together to make a happy house.

BagelGirl

As much as it is in your pwer to do so, stay out of the custody battle.  Be supportive to your DF and SK's, but try not to get caught up in any drama if you can.

kileyndano

Mine's 2 and his are 3, 5, and 7, And date night would be fantastic but my daughter's sperm donor is not in the picture so we have her all the time, which really is a blessing but makes date nights few and far between. lol As for his children, they are wonderful for the most part his youngest is at the terrible three's stage and mine is at the terrible two's and both in the process of potty training, so they fight and don't share well and tend to throw fits like crazy. lol But we usually do pretty well at getting the situation under control. I just feel like maybe the other two feel left out at times and I try to think of things that we could do with just them two but it's difficult with our youngest two needing so much attention at the moment.

kileyndano

I've done my best to do just that. When he's needing to vent or actually coming to me for advice I'm there, but for the most part I stay out of it because it's a lot of stress I don't want or need. It's really not that much of a battle because his ex doesn't want the kids she just wants money, but it's the stuff she does and says to try to cause tension and pressure in our relationship that used to really get to me and when we learned that she doesn't usually have the kids when it's her time with them I was pretty upset by that as well. But I've gotten to where I can recognize what she's doing and have been able to blow it all off for the most part. Not the easiest thing to do but I'm learning.