So glad it's not my drama
My brother got engaged over the weekend. Yay for him!
And sucks to be him at the same time.
My father's side of the family is full of drama and 3 days into his engagement things are already getting dicey. My grandparents (my father's parents) are not on speaking terms with my father (which is my father's fault). In fact, of my father's family, my brother is the only one who is talking to him. And already the demands have started.
My father wants my brother to have a tropical destination wedding where him and his horrible wife are in attendance (and not too many other people) and they should save the reception for when they are back in the city. And - apparently if my brother decides to do anything else they won't show. Which - would actually work out given that myself, my aunt and my grandparents are not on speaking terms with him (my aunt has sworn never to talk to my father ever again).
My grandparents think that my cousin (who my brother tolerates for their sake but doesn't really like) should be a groomsman. Of course they didn't ask if this is something he would like or how big the bridal party is (I think they are wanting 1 each - and my cousin would not be that 1 person).
I don't think they have even talked about what would happen if my father does attend the wedding - I'm hoping there are no 'us or him' ultimatums.
All I know is there was a tonn of drama from that side of the family and it took over 3years to sort it all out when DH and I got married.
I have promised my brother support and that I will help in anyway that I can. I also promised him I would be cordial if my father is there and that I would stay out of any drama. There is enough going on already.
I wanted to share because I find that weddings make people go BSC, and babies bring people together. It is so nice not to be the one with the drama!
What about you ladies? Any family drama? Or have you found that people are going BSC around LO? Do tell!
Re: So glad it's not my drama
My brother just got married last weekend, and it was a pretty smooth wedding. Although my mom tends to get really tense around things like that, so she was finding drama where there wasn't any. I agree with you-I was so glad it wasn't my event. I tried to calm her down, but I also just enjoyed myself.
One would think our baby would be drama free. We haven't asked anything of anyone. We have a doula to help us through the labor. But mom called yesterday to talk about when they should fly in (they are in MI, we are in CA), and I can see it beginning.
Do we want them there before hand or during or afterwards? Well, no one can predict when the baby will come. If you are going to get your tickets now, just throw a dart on a calendar and it will be as accurate as my guess.
Do we want them to get a hotel room or stay at the house? Well, we have two bedrooms-ours and the nursery. The baby will be in our room, so if they want to sleep on the floor in the nursery, they are welcome. But I'm also going to be bleeding like a severed artery, trying to breast feed and probably sleeping most of the time. So it might be nice to have a hotel room for an escape from our baby cave.
Soooo.... who knows. Maybe she'll make some decisive decisions and this will all blow over. Or maybe I'll have to spend the next 2 months re-living these conversations and trying to make decisions for her that I don't want to/can't make. I decided this morning that I'm pretty done being pregnant, so I'm not going to talk about it much more in my personal life. 'What, this bump? Yeah, I need to cut back on the beer.' Conversation over.
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Ugh, that sucks. I don't know why it is so hard for relatives to figure out that someone else's wedding is NOT ABOUT THEM.
My ongoing family drama this pregnancy is that my father seems to not care about my baby at all. He lives in Florida and my parents are separated (but not divorced for whatever reason) for the past 7-ish years. I used to speak to him on a fairly regular but not overly frequent basis (a phone call or an email once a month or so), and I thought that my relationship with him had actually improved since they separated. He wasn't overly enthused by my engagement or my wedding- didn't show any interest in either event, which might be partially since he has never met my DH as we lived in England up until last summer and is not fond of my sister's husband, who has the first name as DH (but, of course, they are TOTALLY different people).
Anyway, at Christmas we told him about the baby and since then I have heard from him exactly once, about some other family drama. When we told him his reaction was pretty much, "Oh. Congratulations. When is that going to happen?" Since then there has been no response to emails when we sent ultrasound photos or video, no response when we told him it was a boy, nothing. I don't know if he's mad, if he just is having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he's going to be a grandfather, or something else, but I do know that it's pretty hurtful to me that my father is so uninterested in his grandson. DH has had zero contact with his father since he was fourteen, so it makes me sad that my son could potentially grow up with no grandfather figure in his life if my father keeps this up.
OMG I love it!
DH and I have pretty much stopped talking with people about what our plans are for LO - everyone has their own opinion which they think is better than ours. We are tired of constantly having to defend ourselves so we just don't talk about it.
Good luck with your mom! Just a thought - I know there are a tonn of discount travel sites that offer last minute deals - maybe instead of pre-booking and trying to be a fortune teller, you could take a look at these sites as an alternative?
TTC #1 since 5/10
BFP #1 7/22/11 - EDD 4/2/11 - M/C 8/15/11 (7w0d)
BFP #2 9/23/11 - EDD 6/5/12 ♥It's a Girl♥
BFP #3 2/20/13 - EDD 11/2/13 ♥It's a Girl♥
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