Parenting the terrible twos: recs?

hlke

My sister is a single parent of a two and a half year old.  Lately her daughter has been getting more "difficult" and it's really starting to wear her down.  Basically, she's defiant.  Tell her not to do something, and she'll do it just to see what you do.  She wants what she wants and she wants it NOW.

My mom says this is typical terrible twos stuff, but it's really hard on my sister. Also, some of it could be due to the divorce, but they've been split up a year (since A was 18 months) and her dad has been out of her life except phone calls the last six months.

I know a bunch of you have been through this, so I was hoping you might have some advice and/or book suggestions that I could pass along to her. 

2brides

Things that helped: consistency, routines, choices (when appropriate "do you want to wear your red or blue underwear today?"), making sure they were well rested and well fed at all times (nothing brings the wrath like a overtired and hungry toddler), time in (sometimes everyone needs a break - there is nothing wrong with everyone retreating to their rooms with some toys and books for awhile to cool off), planning extra time to do anything since you can pretty much guarantee that there will be a meltdown somewhere in the process, a sense of humor, some wine, and knowing that it is a phase and life with your child will get better and better and easier and easier.

We also like Parenting with Love and Logic and found it helpful during the toddler phase.

Good luck to your sister!

 

ctbride08

Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood

hlke

Thanks guys.  I'll share your responses with her, and I just sent her a copy of Love and Logic Early Childhood.