a month later

stel29

It's been a month today since the main part of the miscarriage.  What a month.  I'm just now getting to the deeper sadness level of grief.  Friends, community, time with God, counseling, and writing have been the most helpful things for me.  Everyone was right who told me "It's ok, there's no right or wrong way to grieve; the important thing is to acknowledge and work through your grief."  All the things I read said "Don't feel bad if you can't get up from the couch or you can't stop crying."  My version needed to say "Don't feel bad if you avoid the pain for a while or don't really cry a lot yet."  Whatever you're going through, it's okay.  It's okay to feel it.  Be patient and gentle with yourself.  This is not an easy thing to experience or to explain.  

krisztina33

Thanks for that.  I'm about a week and a half in and am wondering when I will start to feel better.  I guess it is all about patience and, like you said, allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling.  I had no idea how traumatic this would be.  I had some pretty unrealistic expectations on how long I would hurt, cry, feel angry etc.  I think DH is surprised at how deeply I am hurting.  I know they hurt too, but I don't think they experience the level of sadness that we do.

<<hugs>>

kwilson158

Monday will be my "1 month" mark and I was thinking about it last night...How am I suppose to feel on that day? I have acccepted the fact that it happened and talking about it to  people has made it better...but it sure does not hide the fact that it happened or the fact that I get so upset when I see anything baby related or hear somebody else is pregnant...You can't help to think "why me" ....when you want a baby of your own so bad...

It is ok to mourn and grieve...doesn't matter how you do it...it is healthy for us all and I don't think it matters how long it's been.

Thinking about you today

Laurakat81