Anyone else angry??

krisztina33

Hi ladies-

So I seem to be flip flopping between sadness and anger--the anger is new as of this weekend.

I'm just pissed off in general.  I know of girls who had upwards of 4 abortions in college and went on to have completely normal first pregnancies (when they actually wanted to keep the baby).  My step SIL smoked AND DRANK the entire time she was pregnant with both of her children and never miscarried--NOT RECOMMENDING this at all, just floored that she did it.  I know of several women who didn't "want" kids and got pregnant and never miscarried.  It just seems so unfair.

My mom was telling me to allow myself to feel sad and to grieve the loss, but that anger breeds bitterness and contempt.  I know that is true, but sometimes it is hard to control your emotions. 

Anyone else angry??

klbowie

I'm not as angry as before but yes I am angry.  I know what you mean to be angry at everyone for having what you want.  My cousin's that cannot afford to feed themselves purposely got pregnant!! Then my friend this weekend had the nerve to tell me she her self suffered a miscarraige before but she was relieved when it happened because she did not want the baby.  Really!!! You think this is the story I want to hear now.  My baby was more then wanted.  Some people just do not get it.  I have learned who my real friends are during this time.  It's sad but most of them are not who I thought they were. 

I think the best way to get over what your feeling is to allow yourself to feel it.  Anger is part of greiving.  Feel it but do not let it take over your life. 

Holly325

I go through the same thing, its very normal to feel angry. I dont understand how women who poorly care for themselves seem to have no problem having a baby. I want nothing more than to be a mother. I have had 3 losses, and my husband and I had all kinds of testing and we are normal, no answer for those losses. We are going to start ttc next month. I'm really scared but trying to be positive. I have angry days, sad days. etc. 

alyson523

i'm angry and disappointed...my sil sister is currently in rehab and "fell off the wagon" and back onto heroin over the past few weeks...she is expecting a baby girl in august...i tried to do everything right...

it's just not fair...

"An angel, in the book of life, wrote down my baby's birth, then whispered as she closed the book, "too beautiful for Earth"."

-unknown

bumpuser2669861

Its ok to feel angry.  I haven't had too much of an issue feeling happy for people who are having healthy pregnancies -but it does get tough seeing all the happy announcements and newborn pics on facebook sometimes.  I definitely get angry about people who don't even want kids or don't even try to take care of themselves while they are pregnant.  I ate nothing but health food and avoided all the no-no foods.  My SIL smoked half pack a day and ate nothing but hot dogs and she has a perfect baby girl.  And its def hard to tolerate all the cracked out women having perfectly healthy babies. I think feeling angry is normal. 

April!

I feel that way too...my cousin and all the other girls I know who got pregnant accidentally, the co-worker's wife who got pregnant on their first try and who is due less than two weeks before when I would have been due (that one HURTS), they all make me so MAD. Why did we have to lose our babies that we wanted so badly? (I have to say sometimes I feel bad that I "only" lost the baby conceived our first month trying, when other women have lost babies that took so much more to conceive.)

What really makes me PO'd is the whole, "Oh, 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage" thing. That means 75% don't! That doesn't make me feel better. 

I think you just have to let yourself feel the anger. Talking about it helps. Don't let it fester. 

krisztina33

Hi April-

Yeah, the statistics don't make me feel better either.  I too was fortunate to conceive fairly early, but I don't think you should feel bad about that.  A loss is a loss and the timing doesn't take away from that pain.

jswenny

Yes, I am very angry.  It starts with sadness and turns into anger.  It's unreal that all these people can mistreat their bodies and still have perfectly healthy babies.  I have just endured my second pregnancy loss in the past 4 months.  Everyone at work is pregnant and there have been 6 babies born in the past month.  The pictures of all the newborns are haunting me.  I am happy for them all, but I wish I could share in their joy.  I understand life is unfair.  This is really painful, frustrating, and does cause a lot of anger.  I feel I need counseling but I don't want to pay for it.  I guess all we can do is try very hard to think positively. 

jswenny

You sound very similar to me.  I had a loss three weeks ago, and 4 months before that I had a 2nd trimester loss due to a chromosomal abnormality.  I haven't had any testing done thus far, but my doctors seem to think that there is nothing wrong with me, that I have just had two unlucky breaks in a row.  I honestly don't know how many more I can handle.  I often feel angry.  My husband says I need to be positive or it won't happen for us.  I am trying very hard to be positive, but there just seem to be babies and pregnant women surrounding me at all times.  It's overwhelming.  I cannot take my anger out on anyone, even though my husband seems to be getting the brunt of it all.  It's devastating though to have so many losses when all you want is to be a parent.  I hope it gets better for us.