Bedtime meltdowns/ sorry, long

RandiWalsh

Hi ladies! I'm kinda new to TB. I lurk often and reply a little but now I have my own question. My 6yr old daughter is a great kid. Im a pretty no nonsense mom and thats tough sometimes. We have good structure and routine and everything runs smooth most of the time. My question is why do kids have to do everything possible to stay up 5 minutes more? Tonight she was fine all night. Playing, running, laughing, then after I tucked her in her belly started hurting sooooo bad and she had to go number 2 but couldn't. I said that she needed to go lay down, relax, and when she had to go she could get up and go then get back in bed. The water works start and suddenly shes dying. I explain the whole girl who cried wolf thing.  We try to make a "punishment" that relates to the problem so we decided that bedtime needs to move up a half hour to compensate for the drama. I feel bad inside because kids really commit once they convince themselves of their woes. She wasn't sick for sure but I feel like she really thinks she was and I'm punishing her for feeling sick.Deep down I know that shes just tryin to push her limits but, does she know that. She goes to extremes too. Her dad and I are divorced, ( He and I and my husband now have a great relationship shes not in any tough family situation) but at bedtime sometimes she suddenly misses her dad and starts crying. I dont want to act like I know this is just a show but it is! Do I console? Do I tell her shes full of crap? She does it for a few days then stops for a few weeks.  

RandiWalsh

Thank you for your feedback. A non bias opinion is so great. Our bedtime routine is play or whatever until 7. Then bath/shower and bedtime book. At 8 she lays in my bed to unwind and watches 30 minutes of nick jr. At 830 she gets her water goes to the bathroom and I tuck her in and shes expected to stay in bed. She could call her dad. I do tend to forget that stuff sometimes. my dad lived in a diff state and i know what its like. I just dont want her to use that as an excuse. She doesnt even mention anything about missing her dad then when shes expected to stay in bed its easy to use that excuse bc she knows thats a subject i wont fight her on ya know.

RandiWalsh

When she goes in her bed she doesnt have the tv on. Just at unwind time. If shes not having an episode she lays there for at the most 10 minutes and shes out. When she knows I'm not going to lay with her or give in to her she finally calms down and is out in a few minutes. Its just the hystarics she goes into sometimes. you cant even rationalize with her. She will lay in bed and wimper and if i dont respond it gets louder and louder until I have to say thats enough. I do call her out sometimes n say I know ur not sick. or I know ur leg isnt falling off so cut the crap and go to bed. I dont want to yell at her. She gets her story and shes sticking to it. Does she realize she's pulling this stuff when I say I know youre faking? 

kellikathleen

Good luck

kellikathleen

:0)