Miscarried today, probably tmi

flapurls

For the past couple weeks, I thought I had been preparing for today, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks.  This is my first pregnancy and (obviously) first miscarriage.  From the start, things did not look good as my hcg levels were low and not doubling.  I have also been spotting for the past month. 

On Friday, I went to get an U/S and they did not find a heartbeat.  My dr told me that I could do a followup U/S if I wanted to, but that it did not look good with all things considered.  I started bleeding heavily today, and at around 7pm, I passed it on the toilet.  I looked in the bowl and there it was, about the size of a large blueberry, there was no questioning that that was it.  I won't ever be able to wipe that picture from my mind, it was so surreal, I still do not know how to process it all. I've been going between being extremely upset and just feeling numb.

So looking forward to feeling like an average, normal person again. 

Thanks for reading.  Hugs to all of you who are going through this as well.

janabananac

I'm so sorry.

Amaristella

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I know exactly what you mean about the mental images. On the one hand I feel like getting to see my baby gave me additional opportunity for closure but on the other hand I have these images in my head that I'm not so sure how I feel about them. All that we can do is give it time and hope for the best.

I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you.

Rachaeleigh

So sorry for your loss

flapurls

Thanks to all of you for your words.  Feeling a bit better today.  I'm sure tomorrow I'll feel better yet...can't get worse from this point on, I'm sure of it.

CCline09

I am so so sorry for your loss. It truly is devastating. ((HUGS)) to you during this difficult time.

April!

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

I had a similar situation seeing the embryo. I wish we didn't have to live with that picture in our minds. It's awful. (((Hugs.)))

JennyP0222

I am truly sorry for your loss. I hope that you will soon find peace with the experience as well as the mental images you are now faced with. ((hugs))