Devistated and confused - advise please

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So here we are again. Had an ectopic in may 2010.  Big thanks to this board for all the help provided at that time.  And i feel for everyone who is going through a loss. 

Currently found out friday that we had a missed mc at 9 wk 3 days. Had a feeling something was off. Didn't feel I was gaining any wt and was starting to feel better. Less nausea and fatigue. Previously had a heartbeat at 6 weeks.  Was a little concerned then because np said the gest sac was larger than it should be for size of baby. But she didn't seem concerned. 

Now I am devastated and confused.  Md recommended d and c, but also said I could wait it out. I have read that sometimes drugs are an option, but this wasn't offered to me. I know this has been discussed before, but I would appreciate you sharing your experiences - the good, bad, and ugly.  

Thanks! 

kat530_528

First of all I am sorry for your loss.  This is a devastating time.  I had a D&C and the one positive thing about it is that it's over and done quickly which is sometimes the best thing.  The drawbacks are that, as with any medical procedure, there are risks involved, and the recovery can be a little tough.  I had awful pain a couple of days after the procedure because apparently (and I didn't know this before the procedure) your intestines "fall asleep" too and then when they star "waking up" there is a buildup of really painful gas.  However, we are lucky enough that in today's medical world they have things that can prevent this so make sure you ask for it prior to the procedure if you go that route.  The natural course can take a while and a lot of times it could happen at the most awful time (at work, outside, etc.).  The medication can only be prescribed if you are within a certain time frame and I am not sure what that is.  You can always ask your Dr. and see.  I hope this helps and I wish you the best.  

JennyP0222

I had a missed miscarriage (blighted ovum) and was given the option to wait or have a D&C. I chose to wait so that I could go through the process in the privacy and comfort of my home. I also wanted to avoid a medical procedure with risks. After finding out that my pregnancy had failed, I waited about 2 weeks for my body to begin the process. It was unpleasant, painful, and graphic. When checked by my doctor, she found that I had not completed the process naturally and she prescribed me cytotec to take at home. Four doses did the trick and I completed the process. Again, unpleasant, painful, and graphic. I did not need a D&C after the fact but some women who choose to go naturally end up needing one anyway. In the end, I preferred to experience the miscarriage at home with my husband nearby versus the medical procedure. Each person is different though and you need to think about your tolerance level and what will really work best for you. I wish you the very best as you make this horrible situational choice.

 

P.S. I think a lot of doctors avoid recommending/prescribing medication for this because it has a tendency to not work the first few doses and potentially may also lead to incomplete miscarriages. That is what my OB told me anyway. She gave it to me after my body had already begun the natural process so it was more of an aid to keep things going. 

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Thank you ladies so much for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss.

Was hoping to have started to miscarry on my own by now, but no such luck. I would ideally choose to miscarry naturally, but due to work and scheduled trainings, that could potentially be a disaster. I feel guilty that I am letting outside factors influence my decision.  On the other hand, I am angry with my body for keeping this non viable baby around. Now that sounds even more harsh.