So just curious.....how do you dicipline your child AP-style?

RnMom2Be

How would you deal with a 3 year old who refuses to listen?  I have tried getting down to his eye level, make eye contact, etc......many times it does not work and I just end up getting frustrated with him and myself (I'm 37 weeks pregnant and running very short on patience!)

Does AP advocate taking away a privilage or favorite toy as a punishment, how about time-outs?

RnMom2Be

For example, if he is messing with the television (something he is not to touch.)  I first try to "get down to his level" talk about it and attempt to redirect his attention....this usually gets ignored. BUT taking away a favorite toy seems to do the trick.....just wondering if this was AP-friendly?

pixieprincss

One AP way to look at things is to create a "yes enviornment" so, like PP says think about why it is off-limits and if there is something that maybe he can do. Another way to create a yes enviornment is to remove the temptation. Can you unplug the TV so it doesn't matter if he pushes the buttons? Can you put a baby-proofing panel over the front? Can you move it? Distraction is another yes enviornment technique. Can he press another button instead (like on a remote with no batteries), can you invite him into the other room to play with something more fun?

Sometimes in life, we MUST give a firm no, but is touching the TV really one of those times? (It is fine if it is, we all pick our battles and maybe that is one of yours. No problem! But, some AP families choose to do the yes eviornment options and save the firm, flat out, "no" for times that are dire---scooping poo out of the toilet, running into the street, touching the hot stove, etc.)

MrsSR

Ask yourself why he isn't listening.

Are you talking too much?  When you get down to his level, what are you saying?  Maybe it's too much.  A simple, "No touching the tv. Not safe." will do.

It's important to do what works for your family.  If time outs work, then do them.

missnineteeneighty

I do the things you mentioned, and I am still having struggles. The suggestion to set the environment up for success is a good one, but what do we do when we are away from home?

rosiemomma

I just dealt with a situation like you said, my dd touching another persons TV... I first asked her to step back, she did but went right  back... I said "Show me some dance moves" and "Put your hands on your head" I did get her attention away, I knew it was hard especially since they have big TV and we have none! But I stayed close and kept redirecting her... it can be tough but most of the time if she really refuses to listen I take her into another room and talk to her.

pixieprincss

missnineteeneighty:

I do the things you mentioned, and I am still having struggles. The suggestion to set the environment up for success is a good one, but what do we do when we are away from home?

Going back to the button scenario...I could sit on the floor in front of the buttons and block then, or ask our host if we could move something in front of the TV, or grab a fun toy he's never seen before, or bring out a favorite small book from my bag, or put him in a carrier and bounce, ask to move to another room, or excuse myself and get him through the tantrum that sometimes happens when he will not accept redirection ("I'm sorry you are so upset. Let's take a break and calm down together in the other room  <scream, kick , scream> What a sad boy. Get out all your emotions. <cry, cry, cry>  Want to take a few deep breaths? Ready to go back in?, etc. Repeat if needed.)

mjcleve

I'm with you!  Those 3-year-olds really like to test their powers.  One thing I'm trying and both boys LOVE right now is that every time they listen when I ask them to do something and especially every time they do something good/nice without me asking, they get to put a marble in a jar that we keep on top of the fridge.  When the jar is full they get to pick out new trains at the store.  While putting the rock in the jar, I get overly excited with thanks, explain what they did that was good and tell them how happy it made me.  It's *starting* to help them to want to listen to us...makes it a win-win situation.  Of course there's times when he's still defiant and I take him away from whatever situation he's at and tell him simply why it's not okay to do whatever he's doing.  If he does it again, time out.  I wait until later when he's settled down to actually have a talk with him on why he can't do what he was doing.  I try to only use it for the things that can actually hurt him or his brother and TRY to ignore the things that aren't really "dangerous" or extremely naughty but rather just bother me. 

I've noticed it's easier to get through to him now that he's almost 4...finally.  And now he's always explaining to his little brother why he shouldn't be doing naughty things. 

I guess I haven't consulted the "AP books" on what I do but I think the key is just finding what works for you and your kid and their individual personality and trying to come up with some ways to praise them more than punish them.  Something that works for my kid might not work for yours.  Just like stuff that works on DS1 doesn't work on DS2 since they're so different.  Good luck!