It's been 3 weeks

jbranden12

And I'm having a tough time. I feel myself coming out of the numb state I've been in, and the pain is much stronger. While everyone expects me to start getting better, I'm getting worse. They don't understand that the pain doesn't come from her death, it comes from not having her with me every day, not being pregnant every day. I can't believe that three weeks ago I was holding her and saying goodbye.

I'm crying more, and I'm caring less about everything else in my life except for my husband and our family. Like so many of you have said, I just can't believe that this is my life.

blessedhope

I'm so sorry honey, here's the biggest hug through the computer ever ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

dandywarhol

The lack of understanding from others is hard.  Just keep telling yourself that you are entitled to feel how ever you need to feel.  No one grieves on the same time table.  {{hugs}}

PrettyAccountant

I completely understand what you are saying. I was just having this discussion with DH last night. I told him it has been three weeks and I feel like i am getting worse instead of better. He said you are moving forward. Like you said in your post - you are coming out of the numb state and feeling the pain - this is the next step (or so i am told). Honestly, I would rather go back to the numb state.

Hugs 

barrona

I know exactly how you feel and the numbness that I felt also lifted around 2.5-3 weeks after and what set in was just utter pain and sadness (also mixed with anger, guilt and just about every miserable feeling a person can feel). I also didn't care about anything but family and lost interest in a lot of things I used to love. Trust me that while the pain will never go away, it really does get better. I hit another rough patch at 3 months, but I am slowly working through it. I am thinking about you a lot and sending you love and prayers. Big ((hugs)).

weddedwife

People are so stupid about this kind of grief. They don't get that we're grieving a future that we will never have. It doesn't go away, you just learn to live with it.

Have you found any baby loss mamas IRL? I found that to have someone to actually talk to in person was so nice. Even having someone to text is nice too- if someone said something stupid to me I could text that person & let it out to them. If you'd like that, I'm open to it. Just PM me.

nuttycoconut

I'm so sorry. 3 weeks is very hard. That's when I was finally alone by myself and I was incredibly sad and depressed. My DH was so worried about me that he forced me to reach out for help so I called the Tiny Miracles Foundation and they put me in touch with 2 girls in the area who lost their babies. I talked to them on the phone a few times a week and felt a little bit better since they were 1 year and 2 years ahead of me.  I felt like if they could make it through this pain then I can. It's nice to talk to other people who have been through this and are leading a happy life a few years later. Is there a place like that near you that you could call for some support? I felt a little bit better for months 1 and 2, then 3 months was hard again. Sending you big hugs.

Chels1222

I am so sorry.  This situation sucks and is impossible to understand unless you have been here.  3 weeks is tough.  I remember it was sometime between 3 and 4 weeks that I started feeling like it was getting worse instead of better.  *hugs*

tubbsy32

I'm so sorry. 3 weeks was right around the time when reality of losing Jacob really hit me. I went to the dr today and told her that I feel like I'm getting worse, and she said it does make sense bc we are no longer in shock. I'm so sorry and I wish this was none of our lives.

jbranden12

Thank you ladies. It was a rough day. I hope spending some time with my husband this weekend will help. Right now we are on the same page about a lot of things, like ttc, so I do have faith that there are happy times ahead. I just really wish Patricia could be there for them. I have been communicating with a couple of other moms irl and it does help.

jlgraham7

I am sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. I too know the numbing pain and agree that can sometimes be easier. It sometimes seems as though with our babies all hope is lost. But then I remind myself that no one wants that for us, I think our little angels included. We have to pull ourselves back up and strive to be the best people we can be so someday we will meet them again and hold them in our arms once more. I hope the days are getting easier little by little. It just takes time and there is no handbook that says how to cope. Everyone has their own methods and does what is right for them. Hugs to you and your husband.