Need encouragement to keep going

WalteRose

LO is 6 months old and he is EBF.  We are just beginning solids.  He is in the 15th percentile for weight (he weighs 15 lbs 4 oz).  His pediatrician seemed somewhat concerned about his weight because he went from the 50th percentile for weight at his 2 month appt, then down to 15th percentile at his 4 month, and again at the 15th percentile at his 6 month.  

I didn't initially think his weight was a problem because he is indeed gaining weight (although not as fast as other babies).  My husband seemed concerned about LO being in the 15th percentile though.  

My husband is short and skinny compared to most men -- he's 5'5" and maybe 120 pounds.  People often think he looks like a teenager (he's definitely not) and it takes a blow on his self esteem.  He was a small kid growing up and got picked on because of his size.  He said his mom used to apologize to others for him being small by saying things like, "Yeah, I know he's small..." or "he looks younger than he is."  Because of all this, he has a hard time with LO being small because he doesn't want LO to experience what he did growing up.  My husband told me it's much more acceptable for girls to be small, but small boys get picked on more often.  DH brought up the idea of giving formula if LO needed it (i.e. he starts losing weight), but I get the feeling he would want to give LO formula just to beef him up a little more. 

I recently experienced a dip in my milk supply, but I'm working to get it back up. I know breastmilk is better, but I also recognize that breastfed babies sometimes are smaller (not in all cases, I know).  I ultimately feel like if LO does grow up smaller than others and does struggle the way DH did, it's because I chose to EBF him. I know it sounds crazy. 

I want to keep EBFing him because I know it's best for him health-wise and I want to continue to EBF him. However, I need help fighting the feeling of wanting to top him off with formula just so he can take in more calories.  Thoughts... any encouragement is appreciated...

 

  

jlsimon56

Actually, BM is super high in calories, barely anything matches it!  In my experience, BF babies are the chubbiest.  My LO has rolls for days!  I would keep BFing as long as possible.  I would also be careful once you introduce solids, make sure that he gets BM first and the solids like an hour later. 

I understand where you are coming from with your DH's insecurities.  Your LO is his own person though, and he's going to have different experiences than your DH.  Just do everything you can to keep a good positive attitude so your LO has good self-esteem.

shotzie

If a person is going to be small framed, they're going to be small framed.  Giving your baby formula won't make him grow up to be 6 feet tall.  I bf DD1 for 16 months and she was often in the 80+% for weight and 90+% for height.  My SIL has bf all 3 of her kids and they were HUGE babies - very chubby. 

Giving your LO formula will not change his genetic makeup.  Bf'ing him will keep him healthier, give him a higher IQ, and decrease his risk of being obese later in life. Formula can't do that. 

Babies tend to be chubby until they become mobile and burn off more calories.  Then they lose some of that baby fat and slim down.  That's true whether they are ff or bf. 

If your LO ends up with a frame similar to your husband's, I would make a conscious effort not to make comments like your MIL did.  I would focus on instilling confidence in your son.  Being of smaller stature is not the end of the world.  There are people who have to overcome much worse!  I went to school with a boy who has cerebral palsy and walked with crutches or was in a wheel chair.  His speech wasn't the best and he could have easily been a target for bullying.  But, he was one of the most well-liked kids in the school.  If I was walking with him between classes, we couldn't get two feet w/o someone saying hi to him.  Everyone knew him (and we went to a school or 4,000+ kids)!  His physical state may have made him an easy target for bullying, but he was very confident and outgoing, so his personality made it so people respected him instead of picking on him.

boogerbearoriginal

I've never seen evidence that BF babies are smaller than FF. Some babies are smaller than others regardless of how they are being fed. Growth curves have highs/lows because babies fall into all those ranges.

The fact is, if your husband is small, there's a very good chance his son will be too regardless of what you feed him. If he's gaining weight and meeting milestones then he's doing well.

I'm sorry your husband had a rough time growing up, kids can be mean. I think it's important to focus on self confidence and accepting/loving yourself as you are vs. bulking up.  Just because someone is small doesn't mean they are destined to a lifetime of being picked on. Perhaps gently remind H that DS's experience will be different because he's a different person.

You should definitely keep going with breastfeeding. It's the most nutritionally sound food you can provide your son and it's got the perfect mix of nutrients, vitamins, etc. for his growth. It's a living substance that changes with your son. Good luck! 

mfc2b4

I am 5'9'' 150 lbs, and dh is 6'4'' 190lbs. our 1st child was 7 lbs at birth, and never got more than 15-20% in weight and was 19lb at 1 year. He was a great eater, did great with solids, walked at 10.5 months, was happy, etc, etc.  He is just a skinny kid. I tried to "fatten him up" when he started eating solids by making sure he was getting lots of healthy fats (avocado, or sauteing veggies in olive oil), as well as feeding him cream cheese on bread, and after a year, lots of peanut or almond butter. He is just a thin little guy, that is the way he was built.

fast forward 2 years, i had my little girl (who is 9 mo old) who was 9 lb at birth, nursed by the same mom, and is 18lb 5 oz at 9 mo (around 50-75%).

my point: kids are just different. As long as he is not hungry, formula is not a good option. it is a proven fact that breastmilk is best

your husband needs to come to grips with how he was made, because it is highly likely that a child of his will look like him, and he will need to learn to make his child happy with his or her body. 

 

WalteRose

Thank you all so much for your encouragement... it really helped me push through a very difficult day where I was considering supplementing.  I called my son's pediatrician today to let her know I had been mulling over LO's weight/percentile since our well visit.  I told her it was my goal to EBF for at least a year, but asked whether she thought I should supplement.  She said it is also her goal for me to BF for a year and that I shouldn't supplement.  Like what many of you said here, she said his weight and build is very much affected by genetics (both DH and I are small built), so she thinks LO trending toward the 15th percentile is normal for him.  Only if he drops to 5% will she maybe consider supplementing (because she thinks that's not where LO is trending).  

I talked to DH about how I was feeling yesterday, and he said he still is very much supportive of me EBFing.  He said though he may have bouts of remembering his past experiences growing up, ultimately, we need to do what is best for our son.  And we both agreed that we need to make sure to keep a positive attitude so LO has good self esteem.

Thanks again ladies for your encouragement... it means a lot! 

ProcrastinatingBride

WalteRose:

Thank you all so much for your encouragement... it really helped me push through a very difficult day where I was considering supplementing.  I called my son's pediatrician today to let her know I had been mulling over LO's weight/percentile since our well visit.  I told her it was my goal to EBF for at least a year, but asked whether she thought I should supplement.  She said it is also her goal for me to BF for a year and that I shouldn't supplement.  Like what many of you said here, she said his weight and build is very much affected by genetics (both DH and I are small built), so she thinks LO trending toward the 15th percentile is normal for him.  Only if he drops to 5% will she maybe consider supplementing (because she thinks that's not where LO is trending).  

I talked to DH about how I was feeling yesterday, and he said he still is very much supportive of me EBFing.  He said though he may have bouts of remembering his past experiences growing up, ultimately, we need to do what is best for our son.  And we both agreed that we need to make sure to keep a positive attitude so LO has good self esteem.

Thanks again ladies for your encouragement... it means a lot! 

I just wanted to say YAY to this!!!  I feel like so many pedis, if given the opportunity, would push formula, so YAY to your pedi for not doing that and taking the long view.

GL!