How long did DH stay home from work?

Kaiterz

MH is scheduled to have 5 days off for the birth.  I'm a little worried that it won't be enough time for me to get back on my feet and acclimated to nursing a NB and chasing after a toddler.  Any thoughts or experiences? 

MammaBear81

DH didn't get time off (his crappy job wouldn't approve the time off) so he was there for the birth, went to work the second day I was in the hospital, and he took me home from the hospital.  Make sure you have a "toddler safe" place  for when you need to deal with the new LO and you'll be ok!  GL

Kaiterz

MammaBear81:

DH didn't get time off (his crappy job wouldn't approve the time off) so he was there for the birth, went to work the second day I was in the hospital, and he took me home from the hospital.  Make sure you have a "toddler safe" place  for when you need to deal with the new LO and you'll be ok!  GL

Thanks. I know things will be what they will be and will ultimately work out. I just think w my EDD getting closer and closer I'm starting to get a little nervous. I just remember the 1st week DH went back to work I was still napping when lo napped and didn't leave the couch much.  

katemennenga

My DH only took 2 days (we delivered on Wednesday, went home Friday) so he had until Monday. My mom stayed with us for 10 days and I'm soooooo freaking thankful she did!! I'm really thankful that my DH won't be working at the time this one is born (he is farming, so they're done with harvest in November) because I can't imagine chasing my DS while having a newborn. I had a LONG labor and relatively easy delivery, but it took me about 3.5 weeks to feel comfortable getting up and down from my stitches (natural tearing) and just dealing with the exhaustion.

Kaiterz

hocus:

If your DH can't be around is there someone else helpful that could come up on the second week?

Maybe... I haven't thought about it. I have a hard time asking for help.  

kagl08

My DH had 1 week off but my DS ended up in the NICU for 11 days. DS was born on a Wednesday and went back the following Wednesday. DS came home on a Sunday and DH went back to work the very next day. It was tough because I was still recovering but I also didn't have an infant in my home until 11 days later, so that's not normal either. Once DS came home I can say that I felt pretty much normal. I took it easy but life had to continue too. The best thing I did was keep my toddler on her original schedule on hopes that things would go smoothly. Honestly it wasn't that bad...

ETA: I didn't have any help. My mom and DH had I go back to work and I had no one else.

kcisthebombdotcom

#1-2 weeks

#2-3 weeks

I would arrange help for the first 2 weeks or so. You may not need it, but if you end up with a c-section and have a tough recovery having someone around will help a lot.

Mr.&MrsS

My DH took two weeks off, went back for two weeks and then took two more weeks. (His work allows 4 weeks paternity, for which I was very greatful!).

However, while I loved having him home to help me, there were times I wished that we could get into our own routine. The way things would be once he wasnt home anymore. The first few days of juggling two alone are going to be stressful no matter if it is when the newborn is 2 days old or a month old. So I think you will be fine with him going back after 5 days. If there is someone around that can come by and help that would be great, if not you will just find your groove a little faster. )

Kaiterz

Mr.&MrsS:

My DH took two weeks off, went back for two weeks and then took two more weeks. (His work allows 4 weeks paternity, for which I was very greatful!).

However, while I loved having him home to help me, there were times I wished that we could get into our own routine. The way things would be once he wasnt home anymore. The first few days of juggling two alone are going to be stressful no matter if it is when the newborn is 2 days old or a month old. So I think you will be fine with him going back after 5 days. If there is someone around that can come by and help that would be great, if not you will just find your groove a little faster. )

I'm sure you're right, thanks.

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VABride2008

My husband took 2 weeks but only because he had a ton of time saved up from traveling.  I think I would have been fine after a week, but it was nice to have the extra help and company.

steelermama86

My husband just started a new job and will not have any time to take off.  He will be there for the birth but, thats about it.  Thank goodness my mom is planning on comming down for as long as I need here.  I worry bc I am have RCS and wont be allowed to pick up DD.  I have been stressing over this a lot but, know it will all work out.

akbride25

With DS (#1) he took off 2 days. He had planned in 4, but I delivered on Saturday and things were going smoothly, so we decided to use those two days somewhere else.

With DD (#2) he took off 5 days. Unfortunately we were in the hospital for most of those, and I ended up with an unplanned c-section. Thankfully, my mom flew up and stayed with us for three weeks. I definitely needed help that time.

This time DH is planning to use 10 days of vacation leave. I am hoping to VBAC, but I don't know if that will happen and my mom won't be coming up.

ajswart

My husband took a week off, it was nice to have him home but also like pp said it was nice when he went back to get into our schedule.  I would definitly suggest having a safe place for toddler to go when you are feeding or busy with baby, I did not and he got into a lot of trouble!!!

celiabwatson

I delivered on a Thursday (at a birth center so we were home that afternoon). He took off the rest of that week (which was technically 2 more days because he works Tues-Sat. The following week he went back part time. He was home in the mornings, helped me put both babies down for naps (or at least made sure the toddler was asleep) and then went in. They slept for a while and then I had them for a few hours by myself before he came home. It worked really well. Also, his work was flexible enough that he didn't have to give them an exact time so if we had a rough morning he could wait until things were under control and then go in. He was back to full time that Saturday (so just over a week), but then my mom came and then it was Christmas and the whole family was there etc etc.

moonfaerie

My DH took a week off each time. I had c-sections both times. It actually wasn't that difficult at first, since newborns sleep so much. I wished for more help when #2 was a couple of months old, and staying awake more and needing to be held more.

You just do what you have to do. Set up your feeding area to be toddler-safe, and your older LO will probably entertain herself, or you can talk to or read to #1 while feeding #2 if she wants more interaction. You'll be fine, just don't stress over it and take things one step at a time. Neither of your kids will remember it if they have to cry for a minute while you get the other one occupied.

mjcleve

Only 1 week but I brought DS to daycare 4 days a week during maternity leave which was a life saver while I was exhausted and nursing around the clock.

On Friday's when I kept him home to get to spend time with both of them, it honestly wasn't too bad.  Maybe easy for me to say since I was well rested.  "Hopefully" your newborn will be sleeping a lot between feedings so you'll have time to spend with the older one.  Get a good baby carrier...DS2 lived in the moby and then babyhawk for the longest time which allowed us to go to the park, store, etc.

It's honestly much more crazy once the baby's older and active and you're running in two directions at once!

m&m2006

DH was able to take 2 weeks off from work.  my parents were able to come in for 2 weeks after that to help out.  it worked out, as his schedule once he returned was hellish (working mostly nights).

can someone come and help you with the kids once DH goes back to work?

littledream313

My c-section was on a Friday and he was home all through the next week. It was plenty of time, I didn't really feel like I needed him as much as I wanted him to be there to help wrangle our 1 year old.

etude de la vie

None. 

He worked remotely from the hospital, worked from home the next day (we didn't see him) and was back the next day.  I didn't even stay 24 hours after birth so it was a little crazy. He works in an intense-stress job, he could have taken time off but professionally it would have looked bad. 

Defiantly have a toddler safe room so your LO can run around, play independently, while you nurse and have everything you need in every room you will be spending the most time in (diapers for each, snacks, extra clothing....)

I didn't have much help but it was nice if someone would do a "fly-by" and fold a load of laundry, unload my dishwasher....

and those naps or staying on the couch with a newborn are nonexistent with a toddler! I had a few nights DS would be up the ENTIRE night, finally go to sleep at 5:30, DD would wake up 6:30-7 wide awake and running through the house, and DH was off to work by 8:15 so he was no help.