Overwhelmed

Snow__White__Queen

I am trying to prepare for my DD on the way and I have no idea how I am going to be able to do this on my own. I've had several interviews, but only having a few months left until she arrives, I don't know how I can save up enough to cover the time I will have to stay with her after birth. Everything would have been set already if XBF and I hadn't split. My question is, how do you do it on your own? I can't take turns feeding her at night or other things that couples can split. Its just me.

warriormomerin

I wish I had some sage advice to give you, but all I can say is that you do it because you have to. There isn't a choice. Well, I guess you could make the choice to neglect your child, but I'm sure you don't want to do that. Instead you just take it one second/minute/hour/day at a time and do whatever it takes to survive.

I'm a solo parent to two children, which means there are plenty of times when one of them isn't having their needs met immediately. They're turning out to be pretty good kids in spite of that. As far as the night feedings go, you'll be amazed at how little sleep your body needs to survive. My youngest still doesn't STTN and I've gotten used to getting by on very little sleep. It gets easier (or you get better at dealing with it) over time, I promise.

septmom11

the good thing about being an only parent from the start is you dont know any different.  you wont know if it is easier to split the responsibilities and nighttime feedings because you wont be doing that.  you will quickly fall into a routine with your LO and will vaugly remember life before him/her  goodluck!

achase123

Well I don't think you need to stress yourself out dwelling on it.  You will make it work somehow, some way.  Do you have friends or family that could stay with you at first?  My mom stayed with me a lot when DS was born.  I was EBF and she would help by getting up when he woke up, changing him, and bringing him too me so I could sort of be half asleep the whole time he had his night feedings.

My aunt came down from Oregon and helped for a whole week.  I'd get a list going now between your friends to see if people can bring food when DD comes.  Also keep a list going of chores that people can help with. 

You aren't the first person to have to do it on your own and you won't be the last.  It WILL be hard but you can do it.  I scarcely remember the first three or four months of DS' life because I was THAT tired.  I don't know how I did it, but somehow I did.

achase123

septmom11:

the good thing about being an only parent from the start is you dont know any different.  you wont know if it is easier to split the responsibilities and nighttime feedings because you wont be doing that.  you will quickly fall into a routine with your LO and will vaugly remember life before him/her  goodluck!

THIS is also an excellent point.  You don't have anything for comparison sake so you just make do.  When you actually get help from someone else it feels absolutely amazing!

Snow__White__Queen

achase123:

Well I don't think you need to stress yourself out dwelling on it.  You will make it work somehow, some way.  Do you have friends or family that could stay with you at first?  My mom stayed with me a lot when DS was born.  I was EBF and she would help by getting up when he woke up, changing him, and bringing him too me so I could sort of be half asleep the whole time he had his night feedings.

My aunt came down from Oregon and helped for a whole week.  I'd get a list going now between your friends to see if people can bring food when DD comes.  Also keep a list going of chores that people can help with. 

You aren't the first person to have to do it on your own and you won't be the last.  It WILL be hard but you can do it.  I scarcely remember the first three or four months of DS' life because I was THAT tired.  I don't know how I did it, but somehow I did.

 No I don't really have anyone to help. My dad lives in another state and my mom another country. All of my friends are still in college and busy with their jobs. I currently live with my mom's best friend. I don't know how long I will be welcome to stay, especially after a newborn is here.  

ljandrews22

Sounds like we're in the same overwhelming boat.  I'm looking for a new job as well and spend every free moment on indeed! Keep faith, we all have days where it feels like too much to handle. 

lilhockeygurlMOM

Do you have a family support system/friend system? Someone that can help you out.

Snow__White__Queen

lilhockeygurlMOM:

Do you have a family support system/friend system? Someone that can help you out.

 

Other than my mom's friend that I am living with, not really. No one that I know has been in this situation to give advice or help. That's why I've been glued to this website for the last 2 weeks. Please forgive me ladies if I am always on. Just trying my best to get through this. You've all been so much help already. *hug* 

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septmom11

A temp agency would be a great place to look for a job.  A friend of mine went to a temp agency while pregnant and was able to work until the baby came.  They are also more flexible and have multiple positions to fill

catie333

Take it one thing at a time. Feedings will not be a problem. Even with being married, I did them all on my own. Breastfeeding really helped because I could lay in sidelying position and relax while LO ate, rather than sit up with him. But if you bottle-feed, jsut create a comfortable space for you to feed LO and still be able to relax. It will help you go back to sleep better afterward and not be quote so sleep deprived during the day. It will seem hard at first but you will get into the night feeding/changing swing of things quickly.

If you have to- get paper plates and disposable items at the dollar store so you can keep the dished down in those first couple months. Making beds, cleaning house and other things can wait and it will be fine. Dishes of course, have to be done at some point but you can minimize them with disposable at first. Stock up on some healthful, quick to prepare foods for yourself. You will need good energy. And just incase you have an early delivery, do all of this stuff soon so you are ready.

I think many moms can attest that even when married, we do the majority (if not all) of the baby care. You can do it!

The money part id what you shoudl focus on most right now. Can you have a yard sale or sell a few unnecessary items on craigslist for extra cash? Also, try not to buy a bunch of baby stuff that you think you will need. Again, most of us can attest that we do not use half of that stuff. You will figure out what you need for your baby when they are here. Get the essentials- BF/Bottle feeding supplies, diapers, wipes, baby clothing ( thrift store!), burp cloths etc. If you need big items- like a pack n play for your room, look on craigslist and go to baby consignment stores.

 Big hug momma, you will do great!