How much time do you spend at the hospital with your LO?

Eddy1

I am looking at a planned c section between 34-36 weeks due to vasa previa. I am trying to figure out if LO is in the NICU how much time is normal to spend at the hospital with him. I also have a four year old so I want a sense of how much parents are in the hospital versus at home. I am hoping we are only looking at a short extra hospital stay for him, but we shall see.

Thank you!

vsalt31

I think that I'm the minority here, but I went back to work while LO was in the nicu so that I could save my maternity time for when he came home. So, DH & I would go for about an hour before work and then for about 3 hours after work. I felt really guilty about not being there all day, but I'm sooo enjoying my time now. Plus, I'm the kind of person who couldn't sit there all day and watch the clock tick, I wanted to stay busy.

becketts

Both of my girls were late-term preemies (34w2d and 35w0d) and were considered feeder-growers.  

With DD#1, I spent around 12 hours most days in the NICU. She was there for 23 days. At least half that time, I had access to a parenting room where I could pump, nap, etc.

With DD#2, I spent a bit less time there during her 14-day stay - approx 6-10 hours per day. We were fortunate to have lots of family members who were willing to help care for DD#1 while I was there. It was really hard to know where I needed to be. I felt like DD#2 needed me more at that point, but spent some shorter days at the NICU so I could get home to spend time with DD#1. 

In both instances, one contributing factor was that I was not allowed to drive myself and was relying on DH and others for rides. Often, DH had to drive me in before work, which contributed to the longer days.  

gringa78

I had a 21 month old in daycare/at home in the evenings, so for the first 2 weeks, I would go for 2 feedings so I could kangaroo each of the girls for a feed.  That added up to about 6 hours a day.  Then at week 3, I went back to work part time so I would go for one feeding MWF (3 hours in the afternoon) and for 2 feedings T/TH. I was never there in the evenings because of DD.  

Things I wish I had known before:  It's ok to skip a day here and there.  You might feel guilty about it, but your little one is fine (And you can always call and check on them).  I was killing myself to get up there and be there everyday, after having a c-section and losing half my blood...even a transfusion didn't cure my exhaustion.  It's just now, 4 weeks later, that I'm starting to recover because they're home and I can nap here and there.  I wish someone would have said to me, "It's ok.  Stay in bed today and rest." 

AlwaysSunny925

vsalt31:

I think that I'm the minority here, but I went back to work while LO was in the nicu so that I could save my maternity time for when he came home. So, DH & I would go for about an hour before work and then for about 3 hours after work. I felt really guilty about not being there all day, but I'm sooo enjoying my time now. Plus, I'm the kind of person who couldn't sit there all day and watch the clock tick, I wanted to stay busy.

I did the same.  I went back to work immediately so I can take my leave when they came home.  So we would do a quick visit in the morning before work and then a longer visit in the evenings.  On Saturdays I would spend the day there while DH was at work.  Everyone is different though.  We don't have any other kids so we were able to spend any free time we had there.  We never missed a day.  And I would call for updates all throughout the day.

DrRx

Currently we're spending about 6 hours a day--3 hours in the morning and 3 hours in the evening.  Some days a little more, some days a little less, depending on how fussy or sleepy she is. We're fortunate that we live about 15 to 20 minutes away from the NICU, so we're able to make the multiple trips a day.

snoangel79

When my kids were at Brigham (10 days) I visited a few times a day when I was in for my c-section. Then for about a week I visited once a day for about 3 hours, except one weekend when I had a cold. Then my kids were transferred to Emerson in Concord Ma and I was able to stay, I had a beautiful post partum room (complimentary not insurance paid for parents who had kids in the Special care nursery, they only have 5 spaces available, it's a level 2 nursery closer to our house). I stayed every night, except one for 2 weeks. I would pump and bring my breast milk down the hall throughout the day and hang out with my kids. I was very lucky to have this option!

allieatlanta

I remember wondering about this and Googling other moms' answers when my son was in the NICU. I started out spending most of my days there (I don't have any other kids though) but then I started having pumping supply problems out of stress so my doctor advised me to spend more time relaxing at home and recovering. That made a lot of difference - don't feel guilty if you're not there all the time. My son had a month NICU stay and when all was said and done, I probably ended up spending about 3-4 hours a day there.

shanlubey

When he was in a hospital in RI, I was there for 3-5 hours a day. Sometimes I'd go for more time, or go twice a day. 

When he moved to the Level 2 Special Care Nursery literally up the street from my house, I was with him about 10 hours a day. I could walk there and back. It was glorious.

nvoyles82

Eddy,

 

I have Vasa Previa too!! I thought I was the only one on this site! How are you feeling?? How far along are you? Are you working?

 

I am 25 weeks and have not worked since 19 weeks- though my job was too 'hardcore' for my DR to allow me to continue.  I am at home on bed rest-- and am looking at a csection at 35 weeks! 

 

I would love to talk to you about our cond and how you are feeling, etc.

 

 

appylovee

I had a planned c section at 34 weeks 1 day. my little boy was born at 3 pounds due to iugr. He basically just needs to grow, but we will be here awhile. I spend between 8 & 9 hours a day, 7 days a week with my little boy. I know it's ok to skip a day here and there, but Im just not comfortable with doing that. I have severe seperation anxiety. I get to snuggle him for 6 to 7 or more of those hours.

JuliaJAG

Some days I spend 12+ hours there, some I can only spend 5-6 hours (and there have been a few days when all I could do was three hours). Usually I am there at about 10 and stay until shift change at 6:30. DH comes after work and stays for a couple of hours (sometimes he's there with me for the last hour or so; sometimes we go out to eat during shift change and come back during the evening). 

When I knew I was going to have a preemie (but before his birth), I imagined that 1-3 hours a day of visiting my baby in the NICU would be more than enough. I would hear of moms spending crazy amounts of time and it seemed incredible to me. But once my baby was born, I wanted to spend every minute possible with him... I can't stand being away from him. 

A typical day will be me feeding him at 11am, 2pm, and 5pm, and doing his care at that time (temperature and diaper change). I pump right after feeding him and/or hold him for a couple of hours (I only have one working breast, so that actually makes it possible for me to hold him while I pump!).

Throughout the day, I'm meeting with his doctors, his nutritionist, lactation consultants, asking questions of his nurse, etc. etc. If he's sleeping in his crib, I'm on my iPad looking up various things, checking preemie forums, etc. If he's awake and alert, I'm talking to him, singing to him, reading him books, cuddling him, etc. The "awake and alert" part is really the big reason I want to be there with him as much as possible and now that he's almost 38 weeks, he has a lot more awake/alert time than he did at 29 weeks.

It's been very hard... my doggies miss me, my house is terribly neglected (I'm scrambling to get it ready for him to come home -- it was a MESS), my hubby and I don't get to spend as much time together doing things we used to do, but he's finally coming home Thursday and I can't WAIT!!!!  

sroddy12

I stayed on average 12 hours a day until it came closer to time to bring him home.  I would only go about 6-8 hours towards the end because I was getting everything ready at home!

Eddy1

nvoyles82:

Eddy,

 

I have Vasa Previa too!! I thought I was the only one on this site! How are you feeling?? How far along are you? Are you working?

 

I am 25 weeks and have not worked since 19 weeks- though my job was too 'hardcore' for my DR to allow me to continue.  I am at home on bed rest-- and am looking at a csection at 35 weeks! 

 

I would love to talk to you about our cond and how you are feeling, etc.

 

 

Hi!

I just found out on Friday so I am still processing. I had full placenta previa then at my 29 week scan they changed me to vasa previa. The vessal is far enough away from my cervix that I don't have to be on bedrest yet, but I am being monitored.

So I am still working, but it is just a office job and I actually work at the hospital that I am deliverying at. So I can be up in labor and delivery in minutes if I have too. I also live close to the hospital. I work in a university hospital system so I am grateful to have the best of the best as far as doctors, NICU etc. It has made this process easier for me to digest. But it is still stressful.

We don't have a plan yet for the c section but I suspect it will be around 35 weeks. I have another scan at 34 weeks and then we are going to game plan.

Are they ever planning to put you in the hospital before your delivery? As of now we are not but I won't be suprised if I have too as we get closer. I am mentally preparing for that.

It is quite the wirlwind huh? I have myself on a strict google ban right now. I understand the condition and the risk. But obsessing about it was driving me crazy.

I hope you are doing well!

jcsntms06

When baby# 2 was in the hospital, I would drop off DD#1 at the daycare and then arrive at the NICU at 9:00 a.m. and then stay until 3p.m. I would leave for a lunch break at noon and return by 1:30. Then at night (if we had a sitter) both hubby and I would go back to the hospital after DD1 went to bed at 7 and stay until 11. I'm very thankful we had family who wanted to spend free time with my older daughter.

ChickensFive

I had my triplets at 27 weeks. At first I would spend all day every dat with them and only leave to get a quick lunch. When I felt more comfortabke with their health and care I still went up every day but I would leave to run errands or have lunch with family/friends. When two of the three came home I wasn't able to spend as much time but I got to spend at least 4 hours with her. I hated leaving her sisters but also hated leaving.

sweetsugarmama

wow. I'm only there a 2-3 hours a day, DH goes for about an hour. We rarely see other parents there and we go at various times so I never thought I was slacking. I do have a 5 year old at home and in pre-k, so I spend time totting her around and DH is in school. My family all works but they do help with DD as well.

daphne814

Yeah, these answers are making me feel bad!  Maybe it's because I have a micro-preemie in the NICU and a 19 month at home, it just doesn't make sense for me to spend all day in the NICU.  At this point, there's not much he's doing besides resting, healing, growing.  I can't do kangaroo care right now because he's still on the oscillator.  But, I do go everyday during my daughters nap, usually for anywhere from 2-4 hours a day.  I go during his afternoon cares so that I can interact with him in some way.  I get to change his diaper, take his temp and give him his colostrum swab

Eddy1

I don't think anyone should feel crappy for the time they spend!

I asked because I don't see myself being that person who is there for 12 hours a day and I wanted to see if that was terrible lol. But again I have no idea how I will feel until he is there.

Thank you everyone for your honest answers! It is refreshing to get feedback without snark attacted. I can tell this is a great, supportive board.

lilmejo

Our LO was born at 35 weeks and in the NICU for 2.5 weeks. In the beginning we were there all day, we'd get there for his 8am feeding and leave around his 11pm. This was until by legs started sweeling really bad and my milk was not coming in, the nurses told me I needed to rest and I felt so guilty but it was then that we started cutting down our time there so I could get a nap in during the day (sleepy from pumping at night). So we'd go for two of the morning feedings go home and then come back for one or two of the evening feedings. I missed him a lot and it was even worse he was there during the hurricane in August last year and so we saw him in the morning but wasn't able to go back due to road closures until the next day. You'll know what feels right for you and we had a really supportive nursing staff so we called all hours of the night to check in on him. But remember that you need rest also and look at as an opportunity to get some rest before the little one comes home.

adrielegorburu

I guess I'm a little late to the party but here is my answer - I spent close to 12-14 hours a day for the first two months - then I went back to work part time and would spend pretty much all my time there except for sleeping and the 5 hours I spent at the office until she was discharged - Then again I had a micro (22w5d) and the first few weeks were very delicate I didnt want to not be there..... but I will say that no one should feel badly about how much time they do or can spend at the NICU with their babies - everyone is different, every story, ever baby, every situation.... spend whatever time you can and feel comfortable spending there....