So afraid to try again..

tessalu64

How do I know I can even get pregnant again? How do I know something isn't wrong with me? Why don't they do testing until you've have 3 miscarriages, I cannot emotionally handle making it to 3 miscarriages. How do I know my body can sustain a pregnancy? How do I know I won't lose the next one? And the next one? And the next one?

I HATE all the what ifs. I am so afraid to try again. DH is so ready and says he wants to as soon as I am physically able. I do to, in the sense that I want this more than anything in the entire world. But at the same time, I could not handle another miscarriage, especially right now. I am so fragile as it is. A hug sends me into major sob mode.

And if we did get pregnant again, it is so devastating to know that I won't be excited. I will be even more petrified than I was the first time. I had absolutely no reason to worry, no family history of miscarriages, no health problems, nothing. So if I was worried with this baby that I lost, I can't imagine how worried I will be next time.

kat530_528

I wish I had answers for you but the only thing I can say is that I cannot give up hope.  You have to believe that it can happen.  This is the hardest thing to go through because there are so many uncertainties.  I believe it can and will happen for all of us one way or another.  Good luck to you.

Durve2008

Hi Tessa,

Unfortunately, none of us can really tell what the future holds.  I wish we had a crystal ball!! J  Wouldn?t that be great!  However, you ARE strong, and you will get through this.  You need some time, but it will slowly get better.  In the future, if you do decide to go one and have another pregnancy, the odds are very good that you will have a nice healthy pregnancy.  For some reason, it seems like a lot of miscarriage are with first pregnancies.  

God forbid something like this happens again (which, it most likely will not), you can insist that they test the tissue.  I had my 1^st mc three weeks ago, and I told them that I wanted the tissue tested.  They sent it out, and I am waiting to get the results (should be back next week).  

You are not alone! I think most of us feel like we have good moments and other times where we just want to crumble and cry.  I think the roller coaster is just the way we deal with the emotions.  If you try again, it is normal to worry- I am sure we all will. Just try not to let it keep you from going on and creating a wonderful, healthy family.  It will happen.  You are stronger than you think!!

holly321

I don't think I will ever feel "ready" to try again.  But I am, because the fear will always be there, so me to, I feel like I might as well embrace it.  I am scared, but I know I want another child so badly, so I am focusing on getting healthier and taking care of myself so that I can be healthy for the next one.

fryrat

I was in your shoes last year.. I could not even think about the what if, or I would break down. Pp is right about having the tissue tested, but even that didn't help 100%. I knew everything wad normal, and that there was no reason, meaning it would likely not happen again, but it still took till after my EDD passed until I was brave enough to tell DH that I might be able to handle another pg experience. It's your body and your hormones. No one can tell you how long it will be besides yourself. Even now, nearly ready to give birth, I'm still afraid at every appointment that they will say something is wrong and I won't get my take home baby. No medical reason to think that, hydra fear because of what I Wenger through. Take your time, don't let DH force you into trying if you are not ready.

AbbyMay83

I feel the same way. Someone said something in a past post that really made sense to me though. I can't find it but I will try to recreate it. She said that we can't live our life in fear. And that she would rather keep trying to get pregnant and failing than living with the thought of not trying and never knowing if it could have happened or not. (I hope this makes sense!) But it really hit home for me. I was like you. First pregnancy, scared to death of something going wrong and sadly, it did. We found out 3 weeks ago that our baby had not progressed past 6 wks 3 days, even though I should have been closer to 8. It was a missed m/c. It was a horrible long wait to miscarry, even had the D&C scheduled for this week, but thankfully I started spotting on Saturday and now in the process of m/c naturally.

None of it's fun, and I'm scared to try again, but my husband and i both want to as soon as we feel ready. I know if I get pregnant again, I'll be scared to death that something bad will happen again, and I'll worry through the whole pregnancy. But I'm willing to go through all of that and take that chance, knowing that there's hope that we will someday have a little one.

I'm so sorry for your loss and we are all here for you.