doula questions..

Meg&Jesse

If you had a doula I am intersted in your experience.

I did not have a natural birth first time around, but want to this time.  I feel that I know more this time around and am ready to do this.  I talked to my doctor today and she recommended a doula..I had been thinking about this anyways. 

I feel like I need to make a quick decision, because a lot of the doulas I was looking at are already booked in August.  Any suggestions on what I should be looking for?

Didey

I met with 4 doulas during my search, and honestly I think THE most important thing will be finding someone whose personality meshes well with yours as well as your H's. Every doula I called or spoke with said that same thing. I met with them and simply told them what my wishes were - that I wasn't committed to a med-free childbirth, but wanted to avoid another c/s. I wanted a doula who would help me with pain management as long as I needed, but wouldn't be judgmental if I ended up with an epi.

going into my search, I thought training and experience were at the top of my list of what was most important, but I quickly realized personality was more important to me. It doesn't matter how much training or experience someone has, if their personality clashes with mine, nothing they're saying will even matter because I probably won't even be listening to them! The doula I ended up going with had less experience than the others, but had the best personality fit for us.

anna7602

I loved having a doula and feel like it was a big piece of getting the natural birth I wanted (although I am also thankful DD wasn't breech and didn't present any other complications during labor).

I interviewed a few doulas and really went with the person I "clicked" most with and trusted instinctively. I don't remember what questions I asked, but I think I wanted to know about experience, an example of a really difficult labor/birth, how the doula would handle if it if I said I couldn't handle it, etc. Mainly, I wanted to have a conversation and these were the starting points. It was through the conversation that I got a sense of whether I wanted to spend a considerable amount of time, while in pain, with this person. I also wanted to know that she would support my decisions 100%, so if I decided I wanted an epidural after all, that she wouldn't judge me or force me to continue unmedicated.

The doula I went with was a licensed accupuncturist and I feel like this was very beneficial. The beginning of labor for me was very slow. Once she arrived and treated me with accupuncture, contractions sped up considerably (going from every 35 minutes to every 11 minutes). She also used accupuncture on pressure points to help with pain relief. I still consider this "natural," but I am sure some wouldn't...

Another thing I loved about my doula was how she was able to use DH productively during labor- finding ways to involve him in getting me through contractions, etc. instead of having him just sit on the sidelines feeling useless. So, this would be another good thing to ask about. I really wanted DH to be involved, I just didn't want him to be the only person involved.

TiffanyBerry

The most important thing is to interview them and find the one that you mesh well with.

It seems scary to figure out, in the space of a few half-hour to hour long interviews, what "stranger" is going to help you with your childbirth.  But, by the time you are done with your interviews, you will have a pretty good idea of who you want and who you don't, if you just listen to your instincts.  My husband could tell that I clearly laughed more and chatted more easily with one of the five that we interviewed with.  Even I knew that the most qualified we interviewed with was just not a personality mesh with myself - and I knew that the first 15 minutes into the interview.

Chat with them and then listen to your heart.