When to call family and friends.....

Babybear70

So, say the big day comes, and your contractions are under the 5-1-1 rule so you and DH decide to go to the hospital and get checked in...Perfect! When do you all plan on calling your family and close friends to let them know that your little one is on its way? As soon as you are admitted? After you are there for a bit and things are progressing? I'm just not sure when to call since the beginning stages of labor can take a really long time.

I don't want our parents to feel obligated to stay in the waiting room the WHOLE time I'm there since it really only matters that they are there after the baby is born. My first inkling is to just call when we go in and let them all make the decision on how they want to spend their time, whether it is in the waiting room for hours, or comfortably on their couch until we get closer to delivery. What are you girls planning to do?

Jessca77

We're not calling anyone except whoever comes to watch DS until she is born.  Last time we called everyone when we got to the hospital and asked them to be patient that we would update them when the time came.  Big mistake!  For the next 15 hours of labor we had family calling nonstop because they thought they needed to be updated every few minutes.  It was really annoying!

mkflower3000

In our case I know that no one would come to the BC even if they knew that baby was on her way, since that was our preference. I think that once I'm admitted we'll probably call/text a select group of friends and family just to keep them in the loop (and by 'we' I probably mean DH). I don't think that we'll get too many calls from them after that, just because of what they're like, so I'd say that it really depends on what you expect from your loved ones and how you think that they might react.

blonde2002

We aren't calling anyone until the baby has arrived. Our hospital has seperate L&D and Mother & Baby areas. Our plan is to let them know as we are heading to Mother & Baby. Most live an hour away so that will give us an hour to get situated in our room and breastfeed. We are only calling my parents, in-laws, and siblings at this time. Then depending on how we feel, we will contact others after they arrive. Our hospital has strict vistitor hours and rules, which we are very excited for.

It took us telling our parents and siblings a few times before they realized we were serious. And informing other family (aunts, uncles, grandparents) wasn't very pretty either. But they have all came to the idea that we can't have EVERYONE in our room all the time.

Good Luck!

Samiantha101

My mother has requested not to be notified until after the baby is born, so I suppose that's what we're doing. I'm a little sad about this, but she feels that her not being able to be there with me will really upset her. She lives 3000 miles away and is really the only close family member either DH or myself have. After the baby is born, she'll be the first to know. I imagine thereafter we'll call other friends/family. 

cchill01

If you want them to be at the hospital, then you should call them right when you start to experience timeable contractions.  For my family, people have to get off of work and drive up to 5 hours.  So, they need as much prep time as possible.

For family that is too far to travel, DH is setting up a mass text list.  He will post updates every hour or so.  I think the key is preemptive updates

For friends, we'll probably send out a mass text when we are pretty close to delivery.  Our friends all have kids, so they won't be too annoying with the status posts. If it's in the middle of the night, then we'll just wait until morning.

My sister's husband left us sitting in the waiting room for 3+ hours at a time with NO updates.  It was really annoying.  She wanted us there and then we were left to sit and worry. 

kimmyg000

Depends on who you want to visit you when. I told my mom and she came to visit during labor because I wanted her to. If you don't want people there or anyone bugging you, then don't tell anyone until the baby has arrived. Sometimes I hate when friends (even my sister) tell me they are going to the hospital because then all I do is worry and think about how everything is going. I personally like not knowing until baby has arrived.

sveva

We will tell my mom  (who I want in L&D with me), sister and dad right away, but I'm thinking that we will ask them not to tell the rest of our family until after the baby is born. I don't want all my cousins and aunts showing up at the hospital while I'm in labor or immediately after. I'd rather have some down time and then spread the word.  DH's family is all in another state so we will probably call them after the baby is born.

tuki06

Not til she's a few hours old. I'm really hoping she comes late at night like 10-12 pm cus then everyone will be asleep and I just refuse to call anybody that late cus I think it's rude and I don't want visitors at 2 am so here's hoping she cooperates and DH and I get like a full 8 hrs alone with the baby cus I think that would just be so amazing! Either way I'm going to make it very clear that people need to call before visiting and this will not be a "hey lets go hang out for hours with K in the hosp".

JessieCupcake

I think I will call my mom right away once we are at the hospital just to let her know. H will probably call his parents too. Everyone is local so they don't have to make a big trip to get to the hospital. We'll tell them they don't have to come right away.

With my SIL, she went into the hospital in the early hours of the morning (I think 3 or 4 am) and she didn't have the baby until 8ish pm (c/s) and we didn't see the baby until 10:30pm. So I know these things can take awhile and no one needs to be in the waiting room the whole time.

luvtodanz

We will call our parents when I go to the hospital (after I labor at home for as long as possible). However, they have been told they are not to come to the hospital until we call them after the baby is born.We might have my mom and dad come up to look after the dog depending on how long I'm in labor for because DH is not going home to let him out.

MWM0903

We will call ONLY our parents, siblings (we each have 1 sister) and my best friend once we are admitted and settled in. No one else is to be called/texted/facebooked ect until she has been born!

Those ppl who are called are welcome to come to the hospital but know they will not be allowed back to visit while I am in labor. The only time anyone is allowed back is IF I ask for them. More than likely if I ask for anyone to come back it will be my mom.

khill86

We're not calling anyone until we're home with the baby. With any luck, no one will be wise to the idea we're even at the hospital (we don't speak with our parents/family every day anyway).

Sawyerplus1

This time we're delivering at a birth center where they only keep you for 4 or so hours (assuming all goes well, of course). So we'll likely call family once LO is born and we're actually back home and they can visit us there; that's my hope, at least. The only exception will be whoever we need to call to come watch the LOs. The LAST thing I want is having family hanging around or arriving as soon as LOs out. 

With DS my mom knew I was in labor the whole time and MIL knew for much of it (I was in labor for 30 hours). Family arrived very shortly after DS was born. 

With DD, again my mom knew (she was in charge of DS during), but no one else did. She was born at 4:30 in the morning, so we called people around 7 or 8 am, and had visitors starting around 10:00 or 11:00. It was REALLY nice to have that extra bit of time once she was born before having visitors.  

emberlee3

Last time, I called my parents when we were on our way to the hospital.  I knew I was in active labor.  My labor went really quickly, so there was no time to update anyone except to say, "We had a baby!"

This time, my parents will be watching DS, and hopefully bringing him to the hospital afterwards to meet his baby sister.

Davesgrl2011

tuki06:

Not til she's a few hours old. I'm really hoping she comes late at night like 10-12 pm cus then everyone will be asleep and I just refuse to call anybody that late cus I think it's rude and I don't want visitors at 2 am so here's hoping she cooperates and DH and I get like a full 8 hrs alone with the baby cus I think that would just be so amazing! Either way I'm going to make it very clear that people need to call before visiting and this will not be a "hey lets go hang out for hours with K in the hosp".

This-

I will call my mom no matter what time as soon as I think I am in labor to give her a heads up because she is coach #2.  I will call her again after I've been admitted and I am settled into the hospital room to decide when she should come up. 

As for the rest of the family (mainly my DH's family) I don't wanted to be swarmed with people and phone calls so I told DH that he is to wait until I am pushing to notify his family.  They live about an hour plane ride away, and I know once they get here I won't have a moment's peace or alone time with my baby, so I am hoping for a couple hours before anyone arrives.

daisysle

I am allowing DH to call our parents once I am admitted, but I will ask that they do not all rush up to the hospital.  Who knows how long I will be in labor for.  Once she is born, they can come up and see her.  We will call other close family and friends once she is born but make it clear not to come to the hospital.  We will call them when once we are home and up for visitors.

Josie22

We'll be calling my mom & MIL right away, before we even get to the hospital. MIL is watching DS1 and I want my mom to be there with us.

Everyone else will probably wait... I'm not really sure. I'm planning on playing it by ear.