Bitter

Desmond&MollyJones

It's been a month since my loss.  I was 11.5 weeks along. 

I'm still pretty bitter about it.  I still cry when I think about it sometimes.  I cry after sex. 

I don't walk around moping and crying all the time.  I still function and continue on as if everything is normal.  But sometimes when I'm alone and start thinking about it, I get sad again. 

One of my "friends", (friend in quotations because I'm not sure she is a friend) announced her pregnancy a week ago.  She never said a word about my loss.  Not a hug.  Not an "I'm sorry for your loss."  Nothing.  Just ignored it.

And now she's pregnant.  I am not happy for her.  I don't want to be around her.  I couldn't even lie and say "congratulations."  And we are going on a road trip this weekend.  Oh joy.

I've blocked the 5 pregnant FB friends from my feed.

I sound so depressed!  I'm really not.

I am scared to start trying again.  I do not want to go through this again. It sucks!

Thanks for letting me vent.  Sorry for all of your losses. 

Laurakat81

Being bitter is a part of it. It sucks.

I'm sorry your "friend" wasn't more supportive. I have found that the only people who were supportive were those that actually got it because they'd been there. Hopefully she'll never understand what you've gone through. But I can totally relate to not being happy for someone else. Its too hard to do so when we're so sad for ourselves.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Rachaeleigh

I totally get it. I wouldn't label myself depressed either. I've managed to participate in my life pretty well. Just every once in awhile I feel anger or sadness. I've tried to allow myself to feel whatever, whenever and also to not talk or stay way from ppl when I'm feeling angry. It's been helpful for me as well to tell real friends (not quotation friends ) that I'm hurt and sad, not really angry, so as not to isolate them from me, bc I need them. So sorry for your loss

kat530_528

Ugh I know exactly what you're saying.  I had called my "best" friend to tell her and she stayed on the phone with me for about 5 minutes and made up some sorry excuse why she needed to get off the phone.  

Being bitter is perfectly normal and really kind of expected.  I would honestly try to come up with an excuse not to go because the whole time I would have in the back of mind all the bitterness I feel for this woman.  Shortly after I had my miscarriage we were invited to a party and I chose not to go because of a certain person and I am glad I didn't go because it gave me time to just deal with my sadness.  

I hope everything works out for you and if you do go on this road trip I hope you at least have fun.