Need advice...

smo754 · April 2012

Hi! I've been lurking on here awhile and really appreciate everything I've gotten from this board.

So, here's what's going on. I am 36 weeks pregnant by a boy I was in a three year relationship with (never married). A month after we found out I was pregnant, he dumped me...via text message. Anyway, long story short...I have decided to give the baby my last name. He hasn't been there for any of the pregnancy, only contacts me via text, never asks about our son, I've seen him twice in 5 months...well now he's mad and thinks it's crazy that he won't have his last name.

So my question is, how unusual would it be for my son to have my last name? And to add, do I have to put him on the bc?

Thanks ahead for anything!

Snow__White__Queen · April 2012

First of all, I am in almost the exact same situation, so you aren't alone. I plan on my daughter having MY last name as well since he decided to leave. He was upset by that, but honestly I don't care. Its not unusual at all, I don't think. I believe it makes it easier to travel when you have the same last name and I'm sure enrolling in school will be easier too. If he had your XBF's last name, he may have some right to pick him up from daycare, school, etc. without warning. Not something I want to risk.

This may be different for you, but in TX in order to set up custody and child support, we both have to sign an Acknowledgement of Paternity at the time she is born and put him on the birth certificate. It is up to you if you want him to have any rights whatsoever or if you plan on working out custody/child support.

Hope this gives you some clue for where to start.

shaylynn1992 · April 2012

Its not unusual at all for you son to have your last name. If the father is not helping or being there for you during the pregnancy he doesnt deserve the last name. I was in a similar situation so my daughter has my last name. I also didnt put him on the birth certificate , but thats because I dont want him to have any rights to her.

Unknown · April 2012

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septmom11 · April 2012

My LO has my last name. ex abandoned me throughout the whole pregnancy. He did not sign the birth certificate either. In order to get CS set up we had to do a dna test and now his name is being added to the birth certificate. But he still has zero custody or visitations. Im so glad she has my last name and not a fairweather parent/strangers name.