need some help!

kge13

kind of a long story....a great friend of mine (who could be my mom) was never able to conceive a child of her own...she went through many infertility treatments and was never able to get pregnant...in the midst of all of that her husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer and passed away....she since has remarried and has step grandchildren that she just adores....then....she was diagnosed with breast cancer....she will be ok but she did have a double mastectomy and is going thru chemo...she was doing okay until she lost her hair....she had a real hard time with that!  anyway....since even my last pregnancy she has been in love with little girls!  (my last baby was a boy)...so when she started losing her hair i told her that if it's a baby girl she could name her!  (we don't know what we're having) 

 she came up with a list of 12 names and let our closest friends vote on them....then she said she will give me a list of 5 and my husband and i can knock off 2 and she will pick from the top 3....well her favorite of the names is isabella!  it's a cute name although i probably wouldn't have picked it on my own.  but i thought... i could just call her izzy!  then i look it up and find out its the number one name!!!  my cousin told me that her niece has 5 friends with that name!  i don't know why but i've been having a lot of anxiety about this....and i'm not an anxious person....i have never really loved any names in particular ... always just pray for a healthy baby as our first son was born still.  but i'm not sure how i feel about giving my baby the most popular name out there!  i've now have even taking a big liking to reese for a girl....i thought it went well with some of her names reese alexa ... reese caroline... reese isabella!  (all 3 of the middle names are on her list)  i'm really dont think she'd go for the name reese....but i can't take back from her the priviledge of naming our baby if it's a girl...cause i dont think that would be right!  the other's on the top of her list are sydney brooke and caroline (i think they are all ok but never thought of them as my child's name)

 just feel stuck!  thanks for letting me vent!

HannahO28

While it was a lovely gesture, this is kind of what happens when you let someone else name your child. Personally, I would have just used this woman's name as a MN, or let her choose the MN.

guilletskichuk

HannahO28:

While it was a lovely gesture, this is kind of what happens when you let someone else name your child. Personally, I would have just used this woman's name as a MN, or let her choose the MN.

Agreed. Could you explain to her that you weren't really thinking about how this whole situation would make you feel in the long-run and use the name in the mn spot instead?

chibride4

Honesty is the best policy. You CAN'T name your child something you don't love. You'll regret it forever.

zaramarie81

Can you agree to have her give you a list of say, 20 names she loves (or even the 12) and you promise you'll pick among that group? She would still be naming the child, just not picking the final name... it would be more collaborative. The only other way I see to deal with this is like a pp suggested... say you want to give the baby HER name as a middle name.

Otherwise... you've made this gesture and I think it would be very difficult/distressing now to take it back. But I think you would feel a lot better if it was collaborative (not with your friends' voting and all - too much - just collaborative with you and your one friend). Also, your friend may secretly feel a huge weight on picking this name and she probably wants you to love the name, but can't "read your mind." It may ease her mind to say, hey let's work on this together.

LollipopsAndCrisps

HannahO28:

While it was a lovely gesture, this is kind of what happens when you let someone else name your child. Personally, I would have just used this woman's name as a MN, or let her choose the MN.

Rock, hard place.