Leaving LO Overnight- Related to Marriage Changing Post
One thing that was totally nerve wracking, but so very important in my marriage has been my willingness to leave LO over night now and then. We did it the first time when DS was about 6 most old for one night. We just went to a hotel in a near by city and had a nice dinner. Even though I was Bfing, I just pumped and dumped (which also allowed me a glass or two of wine 
). We went away for 3 nights when DS was 11 mos out of town and on a 4 night cruise when DS was 16 mos.
When did you 2nd time moms first feel comfortable leaving LO?
Who kept LO?
Do you already have plans to leave this little one?
I guess since DH and I had very little time together before getting pregnant (we did not live together before we got married), we feel like it is super important to have "just us" time now.
Re: Leaving LO Overnight- Related to Marriage Changing Post
Well DD is almost 2 1/2 and we have yet to actually "leave her" and go somewhere. The most we have done was take her to a wedding (I was matron of honor in) and for about 2 days the IL's watched her so DH and I could attend the rehersal, rehersal dinner, wedding and reception.
We do little date nights like movie/dinner when we have our parents in town, but I just still feel paranoid about leaving her to actually go somewhere (like out of town).
Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
We have never left DS overnight. My 1st time away from him for the night will be when I go to the hospital. Its going to be very hard for me.
Actually, he has only been left with a babysitter 2x since he was born too. Only a for a few hours. We don't have much family around us to watch him so its really a logistics thing. Plus, we are both away from him 40-50 hours a week since we both work full time that we use weekends as family time. DH and I will watch movies or get our alone time after he goes to bed.
I don't even have LO yet and I already know i have to leave him/her over night at about 2 months. Our good college friend is getting married about an hour and a half away and DH is in the wedding. I book a hotel room about a year ago now because it is on the Cape during the summer. I already told DH that I wouldn't do 2 nights away but would meet him the day of the wedding and spend that night. My parents will have LO but I am already having heart failure.
I won't lie, it is tough. When we left my son with my mom at 11 mos, she kept sending me text pictures of DS eating a popsicle (we didn't want him to have a lot of sugar until he was 1) and riding with my dad on a wave runner...out on the lake. Talk about heart failure! She did it on purpose to, just cause she knew it would make me nervous. We were in Charleston and I almost got on a plane to come home. But I am so glad I didn't.
I can relate to the PP's unwillingness to leave their little ones. It is tough. But for my husband, my marriage and myself it was essential. This is how DH needs to be shown that he is a priority. Many men may need physical touch or acts of service, but my hubby requires quality time.
we left DD with grandma for 5 mights when she was 9 months old so we could go on a cruise (we did take the boys-ages 15 and 9) but we got out own cabin and the boys had their own too. It was great and NO regrets.
Grandma keeps the kids overnight once in awhile for us which is great. My sister has even offered to fly down and watch the kids for a long weekend so DH and I can have time alone.
Since we will be 2 under 2 we will probably not plan on leaving the kids at grandma's house for awhile. However, once this LO sleeps through the night we will probably plan to have the kids stay at grandma's once a month so we can have grown folk time. DH turns the BIG 4-0 in 2013 so I have plans to take him to vegas for the weekend which will probably be the 1st weekend away from all the kids
Sounds like fun
. DH and I went to Vegas before we were married. You may have already been, but if not, I would highly suggest the spa at Ceaser's Palace. I didn't get any services, just paid for a day pass (which wasn't that expensive) and used their facilities which was amazing! Enjoy.
Our first night away from DD was at 19 months for a wedding. Unless we have some other event to attend, we probably won't leave #2 very often. We plan to go on a second honeymoon when #2 weans - probably around 2.5 years old. That will probably be a 5-7 days.
With breastfeeding, it's honestly just easier for me to be there. I never felt trapped.
Kudos to you for Bfing for that long
. Seriously, that is great. So many women don't realize that the WHO's recommendation is at least two years.
I got pregnant with DD right before DS turned 1 and my supply tanked. After that the peditrician wanted him to stay on formula until he was 15 mos old because of his low weight.
I know I keep responding to my own thread, but it's a slow day at work. Happy Tuesday to everybody.
There was an incident at our house when DD was about 8 or 10 weeks old where sewage came into our basement due to problems with the City's lines. We had to be out of our house for a week while professionals came in to rip out carpet, drywall and clean up. It was chaotic and to do some final cleaning on our own, we left DD overnight with my MIL because I wasn't comfortable bringing her back in the house until DH and I physically wiped down everything in the place and shampooed the carpets in the bedrooms.
This time, I am supposed to be out of town for 1 night for work when this LO will only be about 2 months old, but she will be with DH rather than with one of the grandmothers.
I wasn't able to nurse, so it made leaving LO a bit easier. She was 3 months old for her first overnight stay w/ my bff. Then she was 5 months old when she stayed with my sister for 5 nights so DH and I could go to NYC to go house hunting as we were moving. Then when she was 6 months she stayed 3 nights with my BFF so Dh and I could have a quick weekend trip. She then was stuck with me until about 2 months ago when my mom came to my house and spent 1 night with her.
Not sure when/if we'll leave BOTH babies (well, a 2 year old and newborn) with anyone overnight.. probably won't be for a long long time.
I agree; it is so important to maintain and work on your marriage relationship once LO arrives, and a great way to do that is to get away for a night. Obviously everyone has varying levels of comfort for a variety of reasons, but as long as LO is with someone I trust, I have no problem leaving them for a night (even 2) when they're young. I figure it's good for me and them, and we'll all survive the separation.
With DS, we left him for an overnight for the first time when he was about 7 months old. DH and I went to a small town about 4 hours away for dinner, a play, and a stay at a B&B for my birthday. DS stayed with the ILs (I wasn't nursing at that point).
We left DD for the first time when she was just over 3 months. It was for our anniversary, and we stayed in the city while the LOs stayed with my parents. We had a lovely time out for dinner, at a hotel, and then out for some brunch and shopping the next morning. I was nursing, but I pumped while away.
We have left them for a a few nights here and there since then. They're always with people we trust and they always seem to have a lot of fun, and it's great for DH and me.
We left J overnight with my mom at about 5months. She was already watching him 1 day per week so he was comfortable sleeping there and we were comfortable leaving him. I was EPing so that was NBD. Then we left him with my MIL for one night about a month later so we could go to an out of town wedding. Both were great nights for H & I (and J slept well too) but we were excited to get back to him the next day.
We try to get a babysitter at least once per month so we can go to dinner or something. We actually try to meet for lunch once per week too.
I doubt we will leave 2u2 overnight w/ anyone for a while but once #2 is STTN and J is in a big kid bed we will probably plan something.
DD was 14 months old the first time we left her overnight. We had the issue of DD not taking a bottle, so we waited until she was completely weaned. We left her with babysitters for a few hours before then.
In August (DD was 3) we left her for a week with the ILs while we went to Aruba. It was our kick off to trying for #2, and the first vacation since our honeymoon that wasn't to visit family (7 years). It was hard, but so nice sleeping past 7 and having some time for just the two of us.
This is really sad, but the only time DS has spent a night away from both of us was last week. He spent a night at my parent's house. DH and I didn't do anything fun, though. We barely saw each other because we were both working ridiculous hours.
It went well, so I am hoping to send him off to his grandparents' house another time before baby comes, so that DH and I can do something fun.
I guess I'm in the minority...maybe it's because I'm a first-time mom and things will change once my little guys gets here...but I plan on leaving baby overnight as soon as it's feasible with regards to the BFing/pumping situation. My husband and I have always agreed on this. I completely trust my mom and my sister, probably the only people I'd leave him with for the first little while, and I wouldn't leave him for more than one night to start. While I can see how it could be super guilt-inducing and nerve wracking at first to leave your baby overnight, I agree with the previous posters who think that working on your relationship with your partner and having that alone time together is vitally important.
I know that some people think that this is selfish (one of my good friends is among them) but I think that the best thing I can do for my little guy is to maintain a solid, loving relationship with his dad. Also, both my husband and I spent a ton of time being cared for by our grandparents growing up, and both agree that it made us better people and enriched our lives to a great degree.
With DD I don't think DH and I really went out for more then 3 or 4 hours before she was 6 months. With this one, I think I'm ok with letting my mom or sisters watch the kids when he is 6 weeks or so, possibly sooner but we will see.