How to reprimand slightly obscene gesture?

Pesky

When your kid does something that borders on obscene or overtly sexual (and of course, your kid is completely in the dark about what that would mean), how do you tell them to knock it off?  What if it is a bit more subtle like DD pulling her shirt down over her shoulder and then fluttering her eyes flirtaciously?  What is the line of what you address and what you don't?  TIA!

howleyshell

Pesky:

What if it is a bit more subtle like DD pulling her shirt down over her shoulder and then fluttering her eyes flirtaciously?  What is the line of what you address and what you don't?  TIA!

In that case I'd address the clothes part and not mention the eyes.

One of mine habitually lifts his shirt up and pushes it out with his elbows as he does it (hard to describe).  Not only it is inappropriate for him to be randomly exposing himself but it's stretching out his shirts.

I'd explain that it ruins her clothes and ask her to stop using that logic.

I'd also be curious so I'd ask where she learned to do that to see if you can uncover the source.  Not that you'd do anything about it but I like to know who's teaching them what at school so I can keep an eye on those relationships.

 

KathrynMD

I like to stick by "you can only do that in your room/at home/with Mommy & Daddy" rule w/o giving too many details - DD seems OK w/ that most of the time.

I also stick to literal stuff like "that ruins your shirt"

 

livinitup

I do my best to identify the behavior I want to see and say that - something like "keep your shirt on your shoulders" or "you can put your hands in your pockets but not in your waistband". Sometimes I get a "why?" and I answer "that's not polite" or "that's how we act in front of others". I don't consider it reprimanding, I think of it as teaching and reinforcement.

jlw2505

My oldest would be naked all the time if I let her and younger DD is not far behind that so we have the "waht is OK in public vs private" type of conversations a lot.  We talk about things that are OK to do in their bedrooms, the bathroom vs in the kitchen or out of the house and all of that stuff.