How does LO act after visits?

CPA04

What does your LO act like after coming home from a visit with the OP?  DS always acts out, but each visit is getting progressively worse. Normally, he is naughty for a few days (typical toddler naughty) after the visit and then he's back to his sweet little self. He was with XH this past weekend for the holiday (he has EOW normally) and DS has been a terror since coming home last night. Last night and tonight, he fought bedtime until 10pm. He normally goes down without as much as a wimper around 8. Daycare said he tried to step on another child's head, pulled the hair of all the babies, and lots of other things he's never done before today.

Is this just a case of the "been at dad's and have no rules" type behavior or is DS's behavior an indication he's not doing well with the EOW schedule or something more is going on during his visits? Thoughts? Advice? Just being on overprotective Mama?

The little boy I pick up on Sunday's is NOT the same little boy I hand off on Friday night.

lilhockeygurlMOM

DD spends weekends with BD and she freaks out when he drops her off. I hate it.

FyreFlyeRush

It's probably a combo of a lot of things. My first guess would be maybe Dad doesn't have him on a set schedule. Maybe he tries to keep him up later so he'll sleep later. You can't do that. They wake at the same time and instead of a bright and bubbly toddler at 6am, you have a cranky and tired toddler at 6am.

offbeatmama

Maybe it's too much time? When DS was younger (around 18 months) we tried to do a little longer stretches at X's insistence (3 nights in a row). He would act the same way when he got back and be super clingy. We ended up splitting up the nights (2 nights in a row +  1 mid-week night with X) and the behavior stopped. We also kind of got on the same page with him so that might have helped too. X was basically doing EVERYTHING for DS. I don't think he realized how much he could really do for himself. We got stuck waiting somewhere for an hour together and I wouldn't let X baby DS. That opened his eyes to some of it. Part of it was also probably guilty on X's side that made him try to baby DS.  Now that he makes DS to some stuff on his own his behavior is much better.

Is there anyway you could try to get on the same page with expectations and discipline? I know  with some X's it's impossible because they're a-holes. I'm sorry. 

BMenz

CPA04:

Is this just a case of the "been at dad's and have no rules" type behavior or is DS's behavior an indication he's not doing well with the EOW schedule or something more is going on during his visits? Thoughts? Advice? Just being on overprotective Mama?

 

It really is a case of just "been at dad's and I have no rules" behavior. DS does the exact same thing and it takes a day or two to adjust....about 6-8 months ago it was a vicious cycle because it would take a WEEK for him to adjust, then a week of normalcy and then back to being a PITA. 

CPA04

BMenz:

CPA04:

Is this just a case of the "been at dad's and have no rules" type behavior or is DS's behavior an indication he's not doing well with the EOW schedule or something more is going on during his visits? Thoughts? Advice? Just being on overprotective Mama?

 

It really is a case of just "been at dad's and I have no rules" behavior. DS does the exact same thing and it takes a day or two to adjust....about 6-8 months ago it was a vicious cycle because it would take a WEEK for him to adjust, then a week of normalcy and then back to being a PITA. 

Yes!  We're finally back to normal today and he'll be gone again this weekend (my weekend was superceded by the holiday last weekend).  It's generally a horrible first 2 days - daycare said he was extremely agressive Monday and Tuesday, and he wouldn't go to bed and night.  Throughout the week we've improved and now he's back to his sweet, (mostly) obedient little self.  Incredibly frustrating to have to deal with the after effects of those weekends - usually a lot of tears from both DS and me!