Massimo's Unexpected Homebirth-Long

cdelbove · April 2012

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After eleven years of being a couple Anthony and I were ready to start a family. It took us two and a half more years to get pregnant. I got a positive pregnancy test stick on April 14^th , 2010. My sister Carens birthday. I think we both were so shocked when it finally happened, we were used to being disappointed by the test results. A few days after we found out I woke up with horrible back pain near my ovaries. My mom and I went to the emergency room to make sure everything was OK. I had an ultrasound and bloodwork and everything came back normal. I was told to come back for bloodwork in two days to make sure hormone levels doubled, which would mean everything was OK with the baby. We were having a surprise 30^th birthday party for Caren on that day and everyone wanted to know why I was at the hospital. We told everyone that I had a cyst on my ovaries that was causing me pain. I wasn?t ready to tell everyone that I was pregnant.

I decided that I wanted to go to a Birth center to have our baby. I found out when I tried to make an appointment that Birth centers were not covered by my insurance. So I asked one of my friends which OB she was going to and I made an appointment. I knew that I wanted a natural birth for myself and my child and after meeting with the OB I realized that she was not 100% on board with that. After researching our options we decided to hire a midwife and doula that had privileges in a hospital. I found my doula first and she recommended our midwife. From our first meeting with Kathy, the midwife, I felt completely comfortable with her. She told us in that first meeting that she was a homebirth midwife. I didn?t think that a homebirth was for me. The thought of giving birth at home was a bit scary to me. Anthony was all for a homebirth after watching The Business of Being Born, but he supported my decision about going to the hospital because ultimately I would be the one having to give birth.

My pregnancy progressed pretty smoothly until the 28^th week when I tested positively with gestational diabetes. I had to go on a special diet and test my blood sugar 4 times a day. In retrospect this wasn?t so bad since it kept me from gaining extra weight. As it was I gained 48lbs. thru the nine months. As we neared the due date we were getting very excited about the birth. We didn?t find out the gender so our families were all taking bets on whether it was going to be a boy or a girl. At my baby shower they created a betting pool with a calendar. So everyone could pick a day and the sex. If no one picked the correct day the baby would win the money.

Our due date was December 21^st, on Dec. 15^th I was supposed to get on stage and give a presentation to my entire company. I told my boss that someone else should do it for me since I might not be at work then if the baby comes early. He decided to do it for me. Which turned out to be a good idea because as I was watching him on stage I started to have contractions. The next day was my first day of maternity leave and Anthony?s birthday. I woke up in the morning and when I went to the bathroom I was spotting. We didn?t think much of it and we went about our day. We started at Caf? Volo so Anthony could get his birthday cappuccino. As we were leaving it felt like I peed in my pants. We realized that it might be my water leaking slowly. It happened a few more times so we decided to call Kathy. She said that it sounded like it was my water breaking. She told me to eat a lot and get a lot of rest because labor could start soon. We had been renovating our bathroom and it was almost finished except the bathtub had not been put in yet so Anthony called our contractor and friend John. They both knew that I wanted to labor in the tub so they got to work on the installation. John?s wife Frances came over with their baby Jack so that she could help me get ready. Instead of resting we went to the post office to mail out the thank you cards from the baby shower. We also went food shopping so that Anthony and the Doula would have something to eat if our labor went long. By 9 o clock that night the tub was installed and I realized that I needed to shave my legs, I didn?t want to go to the hospital without doing that! Anthony had to help me into the tub and shave my legs for me, it was very nice of him since I couldn?t really bend forward very easily. We finally went to bed and tried to get some rest. At some point that evening I spoke to Kathy and she told me that if labor didn?t start on its own by the morning that I should take Castor oil to induce the contractions. Throughout the night I woke up with contractions but they weren?t strong or regular. Around five am I woke Anthony and told him that I wanted to go to the store to get the Castor oil. We stopped at the Diner first for a huge breakfast.

When we got home I took the Castor oil and within an hour or so I started to feel something. Kathy stopped by to check on us a few hours later. She said the baby?s heart rate was great and to call her when the contractions were regular. Almost ten minutes after she left around 10:30 am the real contractions started. From the beginning they were really strong and only 2 or 3 minutes apart. After an hour Anthony called our backup Doula (our original Doula was still on vacation). I kept thinking, in between contractions, that when the doula got there that she would be able to help me and make me feel better! I realized that no one could make me feel better and that nothing was going to take away this pain until it was over. Nothing you read can prepare you for the pain of the contractions. All I could do was breath thru them like the hardest workout ever. Like running a marathon in a fat suit and not being able to stop no matter how bad you want to. Anthony was helping me so much during the contractions. The only position that I could stand was holding myself up over my yoga ball. I needed a lot of help holding myself up so my butt didn?t touch the ball so Anthony held me up. In between contractions I had pretty lucid thoughts. Some of them were about how I now understood why people take drugs to give birth, another was that I couldn?t give in because I had to prove everyone wrong that said I couldn?t have a natural birth. Kathy came over an hour or so later with her Midwife in training, Alison. I asked her when we should go to the hospital, she said that I had to tell her when it was time! I asked her to check me, to my relief I was at 7 cm. I realized that there was no way that I was going to be able to get dressed and get in the car while in transition. I started crying when I told her this. I realized that I was scared to go to the hospital. She said we didn?t have to go to the hospital that I could have the baby at home. I told her that I didn?t know if the insurance would cover the birth at home! (like that mattered at this point). Kathy said not to worry about that right now. I agreed, within a half hour she had everything setup for the homebirth. Only 45 minutes later I was pushing. Some people say that pushing is a relief. I didn?t really feel that way. Pushing hurt just as bad as the contractions, it was just a different kind of pain. The pushing lasted about an hour. I moved from the couch to the toilet and finally ended up back on the couch. Towards the end I was swearing like a truck driver, I even yelled at everyone to ?get it out!?. Kathy calmly told me that I was the only one who could get the baby out. Anthony kept telling me that he could see the head and with the next push the head came out. One final push and at approximately 7:30pm Massimo?s whole body came out! Kathy quickly covered him with a blanket and placed him skin to skin on my belly. Kathy told me to push again to get the placenta out, I wasn?t very happy about this but I pushed one more time and thankfully it came out easily.

Anthony asked if it was a boy or girl and Kathy told him to look for himself because she was busy getting ready to stitch me up since a had a few tears. Anthony lifted up the blanket and exclaimed ?it?s a boy!?. Anthony immediately got on the phone and called his mother and then my mother. Both of our families had been waiting by the phone and they were as surprised as we were that we had a homebirth. Pretty soon after being placed on my stomach Anthony was able to cut the cord and Massimo started to root around with his mouth like a baby bird. He knew what he wanted?to eat! After he suckled for awhile the midwives help me get up from the couch and settled in bed. Anthony held Massimo skin to skin so they could bond and Jill, the doula made me something to eat. The midwives and doula cleaned everything up, when they were done it was like nothing out of the ordinary had happened in the house. They even started a load of laundry and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Kathy and Alison then checked on Massimo. They weighed him and recorded his Apgars and snuggled with him for a few minutes. Massimo?s family started to arrive around 11pm. His Grammy, Nonna, PopPop, Aunts, Uncles and three cousins all crowded around the bed to get there first look at our beautiful boy! Everyone washed their hands and took a turn at holding him. Finally as everyone was leaving Anthony asked his brother ?now what?? and Uncle Joe replied ?you?ll see? and laughed. The first night Anthony let me sleep the whole night and he stayed up to make sure that his baby was OK.