4 year wants to go home every time we go somewhere

chunkymonkey887

Every time I put DS in the car he starts complaining that he doesn't want to leave. If we go any destination that he is even slightly unfamiliar with he asks repeatedly to go home. We were at great grandmas yesterday and he kept asking to leave. We told no the first time and he kept saying he wanted to leave. We reprimanded him for it, but he kept at it. He does it every where we go fun or not.  Is this a normal kid thing?

We take him lots of place trying to help him be okay with unfamiliar environments, but it's getting to be frustrating hearing "I want to go home" the second we leave the house.

Colorado Babies 12

I would just explain it to him that you are not leaving and he can sit quietly until you are ready to leave.  Maybe pack a bag of books or something to keep him entertained.  Don't feed into him trying to control you and the situations.  Kids will act/behave the way you let them behave.  Unless you think he may be physically sick or there is a real problem. I'm not saying ignore him but if he knows you are not going to keep all your attention on him and his behavior while you are out, maybe he'll stop. Good luck.  

NJLH

My DD does this before we leave the house. I can say we're going anywhere....gym class, storytime, playground (all things she loves) and she immediately throws a fit that she doesnt want to go. And once we go, shes fine. Not sure why all the drama. Hopefully its all a phase!

KathrynMD

Are you narrating the experience for him - so he knows - in 2 days we're going to Great Grandma's house and we're going to be there for a few hours and X Y and Z person will be there, we'll have lunch and then go home.  In one day, we're going to Great Grandma's house rinse and repeat details.  Today we're going to Great Grandma's house (rinse and repeat details w/ lots of enthusiasm); Hey, we're at Great Grandma's house - now we're going to ____ and ___ and then ____, etc.

If he complains while you are there, I'd just repeat what already told him once or twice and then igrnore him or give him something else to do.

Pesky

Agree with KMD about preparing him well in advance.  I would also encourage him to think about what to bring from home so he can kind of bring home with him.  I might also make sure you have travel coloring books and the like to keep him entertained so it's not a cry of boredom.  Could be boredom, could be a phase, could genuinely be some anxiety about leaving a comfortable and safe environment for a strange one.  I'd try to figure out the cause and address it from there.

VTbride05

My DS goes through this every now and again too. But I try to keep things positive and fun to avoid a total meltdown.

jsugrin

I don't think it's typical but also not that out of the ordinary.  It sounds like he has some social anxiety which tons of people have but it's something that you can work in depth with him in order to make the rest of his life much easier.

Prep him ahead of time.  Where you are going, why you are going there, what it will be like, something fun for him to do (be it at the place, an activity you bring), give him words and actions to let you know if he feels uncomfortable (that he can sit and read books, play with small toys, playdough ect). Let him know what you need to do, what you need out of him ( will he need to be quiet, can you take him outside once or twice-give him some "outs" so if he gets overwhelmed he gets a little break but set the expectation so it allows you to do what you need as well.

Basically your goal will be to eliminate his fear, give him ways to cope with his anxiety, and give him some control.