breakdown

ohjessicuh

I usually don't complain and I try to take life in stride; however, tonight I can no longer contain my emotions. 

I am tired of doing everything by myself. I am tired of knowing that I have no one else to rely on. I can't handle the pressure of it all being on me. I have no plan for the future and I always have a plan. The thought of the unknown is killing me. I have a beautiful daughter and have been doing the single parent thing from the start. But I don't know how much longer I can hold it all together. 

 

Sorry for the complaining. 

Snow__White__Queen

Sometimes I think you just need to get the emotions out to move on. You are a very amazing woman for doing all of that for this long. I fear I have the same battle up ahead, but your little girl will be so proud of you later on. Just try to hold out for her. I know it can be so hard sometimes.

FyreFlyeRush

You'll be surprised at how long you can hold it together. I've been where you are. In the end, you'll make it work. Really? What other choice is there. And, like PP said, you just have to dump it all sometimes. GL

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Snow__White__Queen

beccaga16:

We have all been there. ((hugs))

You can plan for your future! Focus on little goals until you get a bigger picture painted.

Start small: Plan dinner for the week. Think of ways to save some money for LO's college. Think about your career/job and what you want in the long run.

Make list of everything! Check off every little accomplishment. It sounds dumb, but even checking off things like: 1 load of laundry (check), go to work (check), wipe off counters (check), Lay out outfits for morning (check), 20 mins of quality play time with LO (check)

It makes you feel better to see everything you get done in a day.

The checklist DEFINITELY helps! Its so pathetic, but yesterday I celebrated not texting or calling my now XBF for a whole day. You have to take it a day at a time or you will be overwhelmed.  

offbeatmama

:: hugs::

I think we've all been there. I know I have. It's so frustrating to know everything is all on you and that you have little or no plan for the future. That was seriously wearing on me for a while.... knowing how much I was struggling and not having a plan to make things better. 

Like the PP I found it helped to write a list of my accomplishments. Sometimes that just involved taking a shower or starting the dishwasher. It was still helpful. I was overwhelmed (and still am somewhat) with trying to plan for DS college because I live paycheck to paycheck. It helped me to focus on things that were more attainable. 

Sometimes it helped to just cry. I would put DS to sleep and cry. It helped to release the negativity. I actually found the best time for me to really work on a plan was after I put DS to bed and had a good cry. Just remember it DOES get better! I'm sure we could try to brainstorm with you if there are specific things going on.

achase123

I'm so sorry.  We all have our breaking point.  Try to do something nice for yourself and get a little bit of a break.  Can anyone watch the baby while you get a massage or pedi?

ohjessicuh

Thanks everyone for the support. Today I feel better about things. I guess sometimes it is ok to just let it all out. I work full-time, go to school online full-time, and try to be there for my daughter as much as possible. I feel like it is a never ending battle, there is never enough money for me to take care of the both of us, so I work all the overtime I can. Which in turn takes time away from me being with my daughter. I feel like I am only a mom the two days out of the week when I am off and its frustrating. Sometimes I fear that she won't have a strong bond with me as her mother because she does not see me often. I like the idea of making a list of little goals that I accomplish on a daily basis. I will try doing that. Again, thanks everyone for the kind words.