LGBT Parenting

Starting to obsess...

This week will be the big week for us...our first home insemination!  Our tank is shipping Monday to arrive on Wednesday, and depending on when I determine I'm about to ovulate we will inseminate Thursday or Friday. 

I'm starting to get obsessive...I know this is probably totally normal, especially for the first try.  I'm worried about making sure we get the timing just right, whether I'm reading my fertility signs correctly, eating foods that optimize fertility...I worry I'm driving myself nuts!  I'm trying to adopt the "relax and it will happen" mentality.  Any advice from you other ladies who've been here?  Am I out of my mind or totally normal?  And how did you deal?

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Re: Starting to obsess...

  • Honestly, the best advice I can give it try to be calm. I know it's nearly impossible...but anxiety won't help your body, but being calm will!  

     

    We did accupuncture the week of ovulation which really helps relax the body, so consider that if it will help you feel at peace.  It also helped us feel like we had "done all we could do" so if it would help you feel as confident as possible...go for it or another else that will get you there.

    Good luck--and know that whatever you do or don't do is right for you.  Sending you vibes for peace!! 

     

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  • What are your insemination plans?  (I mean, how are you planning to do the actual insemination?)  Some methods have a higher success rate than others.

    We found OPKs a bit useless.  (By the time we got a positive OPK, my partner's cervix had closed.) 

    Luckily, we were paying close attention to cervical position and cervical fluid, and did our first insemination attempt based on CP and CF.   It went really well - it was obvious that her cervix was ready to be inseminated.

    (We got pregnant on our first attempt, but then suffered an early loss.  But we do know that my partner is able to conceive and that I'm able to do a successful insemination!  As soon as her body recovers, we'll try again!)

    Best of luck to you!  The waiting is maddening!

    The word you're looking for is SEX.  I promise.  No, it's not gender.  It's sex.  You're welcome.
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  • So sorry to hear of your early loss... :(

     We are doing a home insemination; the bank is sending us syringes designed to hold the amount of semen contained in the vials.  My wife will be doing it, at least for this cycle (midwives are not plentiful in our area--very rural and remote!)  Any tips on peforming the actual insemination that I could pass along to my wife?

     Thanks for your positive thoughts! 

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  • imageemma+karen:

    I'm starting to get obsessive...I know this is probably totally normal, especially for the first try.  I'm worried about making sure we get the timing just right, whether I'm reading my fertility signs correctly, eating foods that optimize fertility...I worry I'm driving myself nuts!  I'm trying to adopt the "relax and it will happen" mentality.  Any advice from you other ladies who've been here?  Am I out of my mind or totally normal?  And how did you deal?

    You're not out of your mind -- I think it's pretty normal.  I will say I found I was most obsessive/anxious about our first cycle.  I'm sure you are hoping there won't need to be more than one cycle, but if there is, I think you'll find that future cycles cause a little less anxiety than this one because you get used to the routine -- although of course the is-something-wrong-with-me, is-something-wrong-with-my-sperm anxieties increase as you get more and more BFNs.  I found that to be a different kind of anxiety though.

    I am not going to pretend I'm any good at maintaining calm through this process.  I did start seeing a therapist after my third cycle and I found it helped me to be able to talk these things out with her.  I also have a tendency to obsess over how I eat these days -- especially leading up to O and in the 2ww -- and she told me that the person she knows with the highest number of children never eats a fruit or vegetable if she can help it.  It's good to have reality checks.  You can't be perfect, you won't do everything perfectly, and you'll hopefully (probably?) get pregnant anyway.

    Honestly, the other thing that helped me was switching from a low intervention midwife practice to an RE.  Obviously you've chosen home ICIs for a reason and I'm not suggesting you change your mind -- just sharing my experience.  I didn't want to go the RE route at first, but I found that having to interpret my own fertility signs and timing my own insems with the midwives caused a lot of anxiety, especially because my response to OPKs is not reliable and my fertile signs are not easy to read (I personally would have been a total disaster with home ICIs).  Knowing that the RE is taking care of timing helps me relax a bit, even though the frequent appointments can be tiring.

    Good luck!

    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

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  • imageemma+karen:

    So sorry to hear of your early loss... :(

     We are doing a home insemination; the bank is sending us syringes designed to hold the amount of semen contained in the vials.  My wife will be doing it, at least for this cycle (midwives are not plentiful in our area--very rural and remote!)  Any tips on peforming the actual insemination that I could pass along to my wife?

     Thanks for your positive thoughts! 

    I'm not sure if you're doing IVI (releasing the sperm into the vagina) or ICI (sending the sperm via a flexible catheter into the opening of the cervix).  We did ICI - we chose this method because our midwife told us it has a higher rate of success (since the sperm doesn't have to swim up the vaginal canal, up the cervix, and all the way through the cervix). 

    So my explanation really only is helpful if you're doing ICI.

    You'll need a speculum.  Our midwife gave us one from her office (so it's fully adjustable and reusable).  She taught me how to properly insert it and how to spot the cervix.  I actually wore a headlamp - it's dark in there!

    We loaded the sperm into a syringe attached to a "tomcat catheter" (you can buy this online if you don't have access to it).  I made sure to push out any excess air bubbles, then inserted the tip of the catheter into the os (opening of the cervix) and released the sperm.

    It was very, very cool.

    I definitely recommend doing a practice run in terms of figuring out the speculum, finding the cervix (not always super easy despite the fact it's always at the end of the vaginal canal!)  If you need a lubricant for any part of this process, you must use a product called "PreSeed" - it's the only lubricant that won't kill off sperm cells.  (It's available online.  It's not cheap, but you don't need a lot.)

    I didn't mean to write a novel, but there it is.

    The word you're looking for is SEX.  I promise.  No, it's not gender.  It's sex.  You're welcome.
  • Super helpful!  We are going to attempt ICI...we have a speculum and have practiced with it a little bit.   Thanks so much for the thorough response!

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  • I'm not sure if it's 'normal' since I'm fairly new to all of this, but I will say that I am feeling it too. Our first insemination is scheduled for tomorrow morning at our RE's office, and I am (and have been) obsessing. 

    All the very best of luck for your insemination! I hope that it all goes well!

    :) 

     

    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger 
    IUI #5 - 27 September 2012 Letrozole 
    BFP! 9 October 2012 Betas:- 12DPO 16; 16DPO 96; 18DPO 315

    Baby Alarico born on 28 June 2013!!


  • imageclairmeij:

    I'm not sure if it's 'normal' since I'm fairly new to all of this, but I will say that I am feeling it too. Our first insemination is scheduled for tomorrow morning at our RE's office, and I am (and have been) obsessing. 

    All the very best of luck for your insemination! I hope that it all goes well!

    :) 

     

     

    Same to you!!!  Sending lots of positive thoughts and baby dust for tomorrow!

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  • I think some obsession is normal. My first IUI (we skipped the at-home route entirely) i was a nervous wreck! But if i could go back in time i would tell myself to enjoy it. You are new to the game and everything is exciting -  you have your whole fertility journey ahead of you!

    GL and, yes, acupuncture and some meditation could also help. 

    Me: 31yrs old. In same/sex relationship for 12years
    I'm carrying & we are using anonymous donor sperm
    In March 2012 diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian Reserve (AMH = O.67) & IVF recommended

    FET (2 5dt embryos) on 11/5/12= BFP! Beta #1=58; Beta #2=98, Beta #3=373. First u/s on 11/28/12 = 1 sac with fetal pole & heartbeat! Next u/s = 12/12/12

    TTC History
    IVF#1 (Antagonist Protocol) Sept 2012 = BFN
    10R; 8F; 4 Day5 GradeA embryos. Put back 2, froze 2.
    12 IUIs (in 9 cycles) since March 2011:
    6 unmedicated/unmonitored = BFNs
    3 with Clomid/Trigger/monitoring/progesterone = BFNs
    "The Spirit of God moves over the formless void, over the darkness and deep, over the surface of the waters. When there is nothing...God is still there."

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