Anyone Else Struggle With Holidays? (LC mentioned)

emjo03

I had a miscarriage in June, October, and one in March. 

By now that first baby would have been born.  I took my kids to get their pictures taken and I saw a void.  I am running down my list of Easter Basket goodies and thinking I should have 3 baskets instead of 2.  

I enjoy the holidays with my kids and DH.  I love seeing them so excited about everything but I still think that we should have that third basket or at Christmas we should have been planning for a new arrival at any minute.  Even if we didn't have that first baby yet, we should be planning for the arrival of one and thinking that next Easter we'll have 3.  And yet, I do not know that it will ever happen.  

 

Sorry, I'm just very frustrated and upset right now and I don't think anyone (IRL) gets it.  I know, I know, enjoy and be thankful for what I have, and I am.  However, it doesn't nullify what we want, what we tried to have and what we've lost.  

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

dmgalley25

I am so sorry for your loss and i know exactly how you feel. Today was the day we were going to show the us and tell everyone the good news. Instead the us showed the baby no longer had a hb. I am now beside myself in a house full of people. The worse part is the could not give me a D&C til Tuesday. I am bleeding off andf on and there is no way to even try to pretend for one day this is not happeneing. Please feel free to vent. I keep finding myself here because I don't know where else to turn.

kat530_528

I know exactly what you are saying.  We said goodbye to our baby last August and Thanksgiving was extremely painful for me.  The whole time I kept thinking about how many months pregnant I would have been at that time and it was hard trying to put on a happy face when on the inside I felt like falling apart.  A little over a week ago one of my friends gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy and my first thought was "today would have been my due date."  I am happy for her and all but that little part of me still hurts every time there is a special occasion.  This weekend it doesn't help that it's Easter and everyone is so happy and overjoyed at the holiday but I am not.  My baby would have been a week and a half old by now and that hurts.  Try to escape every once in a while to a room all by yourself and let yourself vent your feelings.  Also, let people do most of the work and try to enjoy some down time.  I know it's hard but it will get easier.  Good luck, hope it all goes as well as it can.

jackiemary

I just miscarried today and I think Christmas this year will be very hard, knowing we were supposed to have an early Christmas gift this year.