Only one of three charges were dropped.

+j+k+

SS still has two charges against him - the possession with intent to sell was dropped. The sale or delivery of oxy (second degree felony) and the possession of oxycodone,  oxycontin, roxycontin, roxycodrone (third degree felony) are still charges that remain against him.  He has to go to court and plead on the 17th. 

I told DH that maybe he needs to consider just staying down there until this is all said and done. DH says he wants to come back.

DH seems to think that if he is found guilty, he'll have to serve only a year. From what I can find it's at least three years for intent to sell. Unless of course SS can convince the judge he's seen the light and on the right path and get a sympathy sentence. 

It's possible, but it's still not looking good for him that he'll win this case.  He does not have a lawyer. He'll get a public defender who you know won't do the case justice - guilty or not guilty - if they are continuing to charge SS, then they have to have something on SS.  I have a feeling when SS ran from the cops he had drugs on him or they found a serious amount in the house he was in and his "friend" gave SS up. I don't think SS is telling us the true story.  They aren't going to charge SS based just on someone's word.  Which essentially is what SS is telling us - that someone ratted him out and that the guy's story is bogus. Whatever. You were selling drugs. We all know this. Quit trying to lie to me or play it down.

I would like for him to just stay down there. I do not want to keep paying for his fare to go up and back every time he has a court date and I think it's ridiculous we have to even do it now.

DH says he doesn't have a place to stay.  I think he does if he looked hard enough. Maybe he should cozy up to all his hoochy mama's he says he had down there.

I don't know. Don't care. You made that bed. Lie in it. Quit making it our problem.

FutureMrsWittig

Didn't your DH tell him he'd have to find his own way home?  I'd make him pay his own way down there and back if he's planning to go that route.

Here's hoping this isn't an even bigger headache for you.

+j+k+

Yup!  That's what DH said.  But do you really think my husband is going to keep his word?

I'm only buying him a one way.  I'm kind of banking on the judge saying he can't leave the state. 

Oh, and I did find out more.  SS won't tell us this, but the reason he has these charges is because they found drugs in the home that we all know SS was selling. And SS insists these are bogus charges. Seriously?  Go serve your time and learn from this. 

And he keeps saying how he manned up and served time this past year. He didn't man up. He ran.  How is that manning up?

He's not fooling anyone.

Littlejen22

+j+k+:

Yup!  That's what DH said.  But do you really think my husband is going to keep his word?

I'm only buying him a one way.  I'm kind of banking on the judge saying he can't leave the state. 

Oh, and I did find out more.  SS won't tell us this, but the reason he has these charges is because they found drugs in the home that we all know SS was selling. And SS insists these are bogus charges. Seriously?  Go serve your time and learn from this. 

And he keeps saying how he manned up and served time this past year. He didn't man up. He ran.  How is that manning up?

He's not fooling anyone.

He is also not mannin up and serving the other time. When you read those charges and realize this man is living in your house with your very young child, what do you think?  When does this craziness end for you?  You are banking on the judge keeping him but that is seriously no way to live, please do not leave your decisions up to a judge instead of up to you and your DHs actions.  

Karma1969

This is not about the step children anymore and totally about you staying with your H and raising a child with him. Flame me all you want but you are the one that needs to be judged at this point for being ok with your daughter to be in this mess. It's time for you to leave and not look back or question yourself.

Melzig76

I don't know the whole story as I haven't been on the board all that long, but it sounds like you have a frickin' mess on your hands. This isn't one I would want my young kiddo's around. It sounds like to me that your SS needs to deal with his sh!t, stop blaming people & grow up & accept the charges that he has brought on his self. As hard as it is, maybe you & your DH should take a step back & stop enabling his behavior by transporting him back & forth. I hope that he does get some prison time & there is also some repercussions in your family for him as well.

sprky79

When is your marriage counseling appointment?

+j+k+

Today is a better day.  Yesterday, DH and I left SS home alone - even tho he was invited and refused to meet my family for a second time - and DH, I and DD had a nice, quiet, normal, holiday with my family.  Today was also a productive day as well for me.

First counselling session is now early next week. I have contacted our pastor and have asked for help from him as well because I am hoping he can also advise DH spiritually as well.  He's agreed to assist in any way and may even be able to help with financing. 

It's real easy for everyone to just tell me to just leave now, but my child is not in any physical danger and despite DH enabling his deadbeat son, she is being well cared for and is happy.  Long term is more my concern. Short term, I'm pretty certain it will not have any damning affects on her as long as I do one of two things this year:

1.  Get productive counseling with my husband to significantly improve the relationship and marriage long term. 

2. Throw in the towel and leave my husband. 

I can guarantee you with 100% certainty that #1 will happen, and if not significantly and successfully, #2 will happen as well this year. 

I talked to my lawyer - in fact I switched partners and I think she's better than the original one I was working with - and she is fine with how I'm proceeding. If in fact, I do choose to proceed.   She needs to clean up some financials for me so that I'm not getting screwed financially and limit the risk of freezing assets, but if DD and I were ever in immediate serious danger - and I've never really felt that we were -  I am prepared to leave in a heartbeat. 

SS leaves Thursday.  I have told DH that I want him to stay gone and he needs to stay down there and address his issues on his own.  It's an on going discussion, but DH is wisening up.  We have our first session while SS is gone, and it is my hope that DH and I keep going down a more positive and productive path. DH is still willing to get counseling, and because I know he wants to genuinely work on things, I am going to give him that opportunity.  Now that I have him going, I hope that it will be successful.

If it is not, I'm prepared to file this year.