Trouble TTC
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Conversation with MIL

So I was talking with my MIL yesterday about Easter dinner, and she asks me if we are "still" trying to have a baby.  I have never admitted to her straight out that we are TTC.  I always say things like "yeah, maybe someday" or whatever.  She's one of those mothers who pushes for grandchildren all the time.  So I kind of dodge the question, and she proceeds to ask me if I am taking shots to try to get PG.  Ummmmm......  What the heck am I supposed to say to that?  Where in the heck did she come up with that?  So I just say that I have seen my share of needles in my day and try to get back to Easter.

Then she did it.  I know she doesn't really know about my IF, but she seems to think she does.  So why tell me that I am still young and that she didn't have a baby until she was 30 and 34 (I am 32) and I can always adopt if it doesn't happen?  What good is that honestly going to do, whether or not I am having trouble TTC? 

This was actually the second time she has said something like this, and I avoided responding the first time.  So why do it again?  And again - how in the heck does she even know?  I don't discuss this with her.

:::sigh:::

Vent over.  Thanks for listening!

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Re: Conversation with MIL

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    maybe if she knew what you were going through she would be less invasive...I was having embarrassing insane mood swings (from the provera and clomid) last time my MIL was visiting, I was crying randomly and all kinds of fun things. She thought I was crazy so when the time was right I just pulled her aside, layed it all out and told her I wasnt super into talking about it. I think it helped her understand and I felt better that she didnt just think I was some psycho. We are not that close she lives over seas and this was only my third time meeting her but I really beleive that it needed to be said. Good luck and Hugs, this is not easy what you are going through!!
    Trying To Conceive Since October 2010 October 2010 BFP :) -> November 2010 M/C @ 7weeks Clomid Cycle #1 July 2011 = BFN Clomid Cycle #2 September 2011 = BFN Clomid Cycle #3 November 2011 = BFN Letrazole Cycle #1 = January 2012 = BFN HSG February 2012- Growths in uterus both tubes open D&C March 2012- Remove Polyps SURPRISE BFP-August 15 2012 BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
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    I agree with PP that if you don't want to discuss with your MIL that you should just be upfront.  You can still avoid talking about IF if you want, just say something like 'I really don't want to discuss this right now.  I'll let you know if that changes."  I did that with my in-laws and it was a good decision for me.  GL!
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    That is really frustrating. I hear that kind of stuff a lot too. I think that once you have been married for awhile, and no baby has come along, people just start to assume there's a problem, whether there is or not. That seems to be what's happening to me at work. All the other girls my age are on #2, and no one bothers to ask me the dreaded question anymore. In a way it makes me sad, but I'm glad I don't get harassed anymore.

    I agree with PP to just be up front that it's something you'd rather not discuss. 

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    Some MIL's are clueless.  Last summer, mine went off on a 20 minute tirade about how it is so selfish of people to have just one child.  Seriously??

    image
    DOR and AMA
    2/12-5/12: 4 IUI cycles = all BFN;
    7/12: DE IVF # 1 (with ICSI)- 20R, 16M, 14F, 5DT of 2 blasts; 6 frosties = BFN;
    Lupus anticoagulant initially high, then found to be normal on hematology consult;
    Follow up testing in September all clear;
    Started synthroid for "high normal" TSH;
    FET # 1- late October 2012- BFP on FRER; beta # 1- 21(low), beta # 2- 48 (still low), beta # 3- 132, beta # 4- 1,293; beta # 5- 5,606; last beta- over 100,000. First u/s 11/21- heard heartbeat
    12/12- Officially an OB patient!
    Level 2 ultrasound at 20 weeks shows vasa previa and VCI
    Referral to MFM and mandatory c section for delivery
    Beautiful baby girl born at 34 weeks
    Finally home after 15 day NICU stay!
    Trying for sibling: FET # 2- May 2014; beta 5/31, BFN
    FET #3, early July 2014; beta 7/14, BFN
    DE IVF # 2- August 2014; 14R, 13M, 11F, 5dt of 2 blasts (3 AA), 5 frosties = BFN
    FET #4- December 2014, yet another BFN

    Dr. KK work up shows borderline uterine blood flow, elevated NK cells, and MTHFR mutation (homozygous for c677t)

    Added baby aspirin, prednisone, supplements, Metanx, and intralipids

    Switched to large clinic for final attempt; had endometrial receptivity testing in January; FET March 2015 = yet another BFN

    Likely OAD- NBC

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    My MIL know all about our struggles and she will only bring it up it up if I mention it first. She understands that some times I just don't feel like discussing it. Then agaon we are pretty close. She lives about 10 mins away from us.
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    imageMs H13:
    I agree with PP that if you don't want to discuss with your MIL that you should just be upfront.  You can still avoid talking about IF if you want, just say something like 'I really don't want to discuss this right now.  I'll let you know if that changes."  I did that with my in-laws and it was a good decision for me.  GL!

     

    I think this is a good response.

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    imageMs H13:
    I agree with PP that if you don't want to discuss with your MIL that you should just be upfront.  You can still avoid talking about IF if you want, just say something like 'I really don't want to discuss this right now.  I'll let you know if that changes."  I did that with my in-laws and it was a good decision for me.  GL!

     

    I agree.  

    Married my best friend in 2009
    TTC since April 2010
    Jan 2012 - Started IF treatment 
    Conceived our first angel during IF break, surprised with second (natural) BFP 2.5 months later. 
    May 2014 - TAC surgery 

    Trying to conceive our rainbow baby <3

    imageimage

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