Conversation with MIL

jenjen930

So I was talking with my MIL yesterday about Easter dinner, and she asks me if we are "still" trying to have a baby.  I have never admitted to her straight out that we are TTC.  I always say things like "yeah, maybe someday" or whatever.  She's one of those mothers who pushes for grandchildren all the time.  So I kind of dodge the question, and she proceeds to ask me if I am taking shots to try to get PG.  Ummmmm......  What the heck am I supposed to say to that?  Where in the heck did she come up with that?  So I just say that I have seen my share of needles in my day and try to get back to Easter.

Then she did it.  I know she doesn't really know about my IF, but she seems to think she does.  So why tell me that I am still young and that she didn't have a baby until she was 30 and 34 (I am 32) and I can always adopt if it doesn't happen?  What good is that honestly going to do, whether or not I am having trouble TTC? 

This was actually the second time she has said something like this, and I avoided responding the first time.  So why do it again?  And again - how in the heck does she even know?  I don't discuss this with her.

:::sigh:::

Vent over.  Thanks for listening!

crazycourtny

maybe if she knew what you were going through she would be less invasive...I was having embarrassing insane mood swings (from the provera and clomid) last time my MIL was visiting, I was crying randomly and all kinds of fun things. She thought I was crazy so when the time was right I just pulled her aside, layed it all out and told her I wasnt super into talking about it. I think it helped her understand and I felt better that she didnt just think I was some psycho. We are not that close she lives over seas and this was only my third time meeting her but I really beleive that it needed to be said. Good luck and Hugs, this is not easy what you are going through!!

Ms H13

I agree with PP that if you don't want to discuss with your MIL that you should just be upfront.  You can still avoid talking about IF if you want, just say something like 'I really don't want to discuss this right now.  I'll let you know if that changes."  I did that with my in-laws and it was a good decision for me.  GL!

tmsetzer83

That is really frustrating. I hear that kind of stuff a lot too. I think that once you have been married for awhile, and no baby has come along, people just start to assume there's a problem, whether there is or not. That seems to be what's happening to me at work. All the other girls my age are on #2, and no one bothers to ask me the dreaded question anymore. In a way it makes me sad, but I'm glad I don't get harassed anymore.

I agree with PP to just be up front that it's something you'd rather not discuss. 

chicagobride_07

Some MIL's are clueless.  Last summer, mine went off on a 20 minute tirade about how it is so selfish of people to have just one child.  Seriously??

crystalmarcellin

My MIL know all about our struggles and she will only bring it up it up if I mention it first. She understands that some times I just don't feel like discussing it. Then agaon we are pretty close. She lives about 10 mins away from us.

matthewsbride05

Ms H13:

I agree with PP that if you don't want to discuss with your MIL that you should just be upfront.  You can still avoid talking about IF if you want, just say something like 'I really don't want to discuss this right now.  I'll let you know if that changes."  I did that with my in-laws and it was a good decision for me.  GL!

 

I think this is a good response.

claywalker

Ms H13:

I agree with PP that if you don't want to discuss with your MIL that you should just be upfront.  You can still avoid talking about IF if you want, just say something like 'I really don't want to discuss this right now.  I'll let you know if that changes."  I did that with my in-laws and it was a good decision for me.  GL!

 

I agree.