June 2012 Moms

IYHO- When is a sprinkling appropriate?

Hey ladies,

Just wanted to get your thoughts- when is it appropriate to have a sprinkle (mini-shower).  My dear friend wants to throw one for me and I hesistated at first since this is my second baby.  All of my big stuff (pnp, crib, swing) is gender neutral, but all my blankets, bibs, clothes are all boy (this baby is a girl).  So I was wondering what you thought? 

I also have a dear friend who has 3 kids and whose youngest is 7, who got rid of everything due to being "done."  Her DH went in last year to have a vasectomy and couldn't because he had a rare parasite.  They were waiting til he was better to do try again and she is now pregnant.  I would like to throw her a shower.  Is it appropriate in this case? 

I am just not sure the ettiquette on this one.

TIA!

Re: IYHO- When is a sprinkling appropriate?

  • If someone wants to throw you a sprinkle, I don't see anything wrong with it. That's just a friend doing something nice for another friend :)
    Stephanie Ella ~ 6/15/2012
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  • Though this seems to be a pretty sensitive topic on these boards, I honestly have never been offended to be invited to one, in situations that were similar to both of the ones you mentioned. I don't know if this is regional, or cultural, or maybe I'm just strange. 

    It's nice to celebrate the coming baby and give a little gift. At a lot of the ones I've attended, the gifts from everyone are usually relatively small/low cost, and a lot of the mothers don't even bother registering. Its mostly a chance for us all to get together as a goodwill gesture for the mother with some cake and a chance to coo over cute baby stuff...so maybe that's why it's never seemed like a big deal with me?  

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  • I have never heard of it called a sprinkle - cute!! I always heard that if the 2nd child is a different gender, another shower is appropriate.  But, really, as the PP said, if a friend wants to give a shower, why not? If an invitee thinks it's inappropriate, she doesn't have to attend.
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  • I had never heard of a sprinkle before coming on the bump but I think it's a nice idea. I think in both of those situations, it would be appropriate. If people are really "offended" for some reason, they don't have to attend.
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  • imagekaren3337:
    I have never heard of it called a sprinkle - cute!! I always heard that if the 2nd child is a different gender, another shower is appropriate.  But, really, as the PP said, if a friend wants to give a shower, why not? If an invitee thinks it's inappropriate, she doesn't have to attend.

    Ditto!

    Stephanie Ella ~ 6/15/2012
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  • imageluvmygoofyguy:

    Though this seems to be a pretty sensitive topic on these boards, I honestly have never been offended to be invited to one, in situations that were similar to both of the ones you mentioned. I don't know if this is regional, or cultural, or maybe I'm just strange. 

    It's nice to celebrate the coming baby and give a little gift. At a lot of the ones I've attended, the gifts from everyone are usually relatively small/low cost, and a lot of the mothers don't even bother registering. Its mostly a chance for us all to get together as a goodwill gesture for the mother with some cake and a chance to coo over cute baby stuff...so maybe that's why it's never seemed like a big deal with me?  

    I feel the same way.  I honestly didn't even know it was so controversial until I joined TB.  Everyone I know has a shower for every baby regardless of sex, age difference, etc.  My thoughts are- "Yay a party!  I get to see my friends and family.  I get to buy cute baby stuff.  I wonder what kind of cake we'll have." 

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  • Thanks ladies!  I would never want to offend my friends/family and don't think they would be offended, but I was just unsure.  And as the PP said, if they think it's inappropriate, they don't have to attend.

    Thanks, you ladies rock.

  • imageNicholeeK:
    imageluvmygoofyguy:

    Though this seems to be a pretty sensitive topic on these boards, I honestly have never been offended to be invited to one, in situations that were similar to both of the ones you mentioned. I don't know if this is regional, or cultural, or maybe I'm just strange. 

    It's nice to celebrate the coming baby and give a little gift. At a lot of the ones I've attended, the gifts from everyone are usually relatively small/low cost, and a lot of the mothers don't even bother registering. Its mostly a chance for us all to get together as a goodwill gesture for the mother with some cake and a chance to coo over cute baby stuff...so maybe that's why it's never seemed like a big deal with me?  

    I feel the same way.  I honestly didn't even know it was so controversial until I joined TB.  Everyone I know has a shower for every baby regardless of sex, age difference, etc.  My thoughts are- "Yay a party!  I get to see my friends and family.  I get to buy cute baby stuff.  I wonder what kind of cake we'll have." 

    Ha! This is exactly what my thought runs like... especially since right now cake sounds really yummy. ;p

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  • Where I come from, if someone wants to throw you a shower, whether it be big or small, or 1st child or 4th, it's perfectly acceptable.

    DS#1- 7/2002

    DS#2- 6/2004

    DS#3- 9/2007

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  • I would just keep it that, a "mini-shower" don't be over the top, keep it low key, and as it may not match your opinion, if someone is invited and declines or doesn't bring a gift, don't 'shun' them.

    I may be on the other side of the fence based on the above posts, but over the past 4 years between baby and bridal showers I am completely over them. We have had 29 couples get married in 4 years, plus all the showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties and then come the babies, which I am happy to celebrate, but having to celebrate all of them (a lot my husband has been in--so add that cost) it can become burdensome financially.

    I think in the situations you list above these sprinkles are appropriate, but I think that it is a controversial subject because of the ways some women go about them, and seem a bit gift grabby!

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  • Sprinkles are definitely becoming more common.  But, I'm still not really comfortable with the idea.  I have no problem paying for the few things that we need.  And I feel a little uncomfortable making people attend another shower.  Personally, I'd rather do a "meet the baby" party.  But, even that seems like a lot of effort. 

    It was funny though, my Dad wanted to throw me a sprinkle and my Mom thought it was obnoxious.  So, you'll get all sorts of responses.

    A 2nd shower for a Mom with 5+ year gap is definitely acceptable!  

     

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  • imageNSYoder26:

    I would just keep it that, a "mini-shower" don't be over the top, keep it low key, and as it may not match your opinion, if someone is invited and declines or doesn't bring a gift, don't 'shun' them.

    I may be on the other side of the fence based on the above posts, but over the past 4 years between baby and bridal showers I am completely over them. We have had 29 couples get married in 4 years, plus all the showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties and then come the babies, which I am happy to celebrate, but having to celebrate all of them (a lot my husband has been in--so add that cost) it can become burdensome financially.

    I think in the situations you list above these sprinkles are appropriate, but I think that it is a controversial subject because of the ways some women go about them, and seem a bit gift grabby!

    Not sure if anyone else remebers this, but for all those SITC fans, do you remember when Carrie "married" herself and only registered for a pair of shoes after getting hers stolen at a baby shower?  Super funny. 

    I don't want my friends to be burdened with the expense of supporting my decisions.  I was just flattered and want to celebrate (oh yes the cake!) with them.  And yes, it will be low key.  My first shower was a bit OTT because my Mom's friend threw it and thats just how they roll.  (We are talking high tea and hats!) I would WAY prefer they show up and not bring anything than not come.  These are my wonderful ladies:)

    Thanks for your honest opinion.

  • I also never knew baby showers were only for the first baby. In my circle of friends/family it's normal to have a shower for every baby. I just threw a shower for my friend who had her second boy, her first son is 4 now, but she didn't have a shower for him. So going to a sprinkle or a second shower wouldn't bother me, and if somebody is offering to throw you one I think you should go for it!
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  • imagecchill01:

    Sprinkles are definitely becoming more common.  But, I'm still not really comfortable with the idea.  I have no problem paying for the few things that we need.  And I feel a little uncomfortable making people attend another shower.  Personally, I'd rather do a "meet the baby" party.  But, even that seems like a lot of effort. 

    It was funny though, my Dad wanted to throw me a sprinkle and my Mom thought it was obnoxious.  So, you'll get all sorts of responses.

    A 2nd shower for a Mom with 5+ year gap is definitely acceptable!  

     

     

    I agree with all of this.  If you had a child 3 or less years ago...not sure if you did...then imo I think it's not appropriate to have a shower or even a sprinkle.  If you have gender specific items that was your choice to do that....even with the clothes.  We bought tons of gender neutral clothes so we would be able to use them for future kids for this very reason.

    This is just my opinion though....you know your group of people better than we do and what they would find acceptable.

  • I think sprinkle showers are generally fine (depending on what is accepted in your area).  This is especially true where the babies are different genders or there have been several years in between.
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  • I'm in your situation as well and my friend offered to throw me one.  This is the wording on the invite...

     Little babies are so much fun that Amy is having another one! 
    We're having a baby sprinkle because
    we want to show her new baby some love! 

    There is no need for big gifts; just fun, practical, and girly things will do. 
    We hope to celebrate with you!

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  • imagekaren3337:
    I have never heard of it called a sprinkle - cute!! I always heard that if the 2nd child is a different gender, another shower is appropriate.  But, really, as the PP said, if a friend wants to give a shower, why not? If an invitee thinks it's inappropriate, she doesn't have to attend.

    I totally agree with this.  

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  • I don't see an issue with it any if anyone does well then they don't have to get you anything. IMO, I'd do it especially if your having different sexes.

     As for your friend who got pregnant, I think it's totally fine to throw a baby shower or sprinkle.  

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  • Sprinkles are very common in our group of friends.  But it's not really a shower- it's more all of us getting together at a really nice restaurant for a no-host brunch, dessert, and small gifts.  We do them for each other and keep them very simple. 
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  • imageamy5162:

    I'm in your situation as well and my friend offered to throw me one.  This is the wording on the invite...

     Little babies are so much fun that Amy is having another one! 
    We're having a baby sprinkle because
    we want to show her new baby some love! 

    There is no need for big gifts; just fun, practical, and girly things will do. 
    We hope to celebrate with you!

    That's cute.  I don't think anyone would think that's rude.

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  • 44me44me member
    Some of my friends at church are throwing me a shower for #4.  There is an eight year gap between my babies, but honestly our church celebrates every new life, and each of my children had a party of some kind.  For #2 and #3 it was an after church potluck, meet the baby kind of thing. When a friend of mine asked if she could throw me a shower, I tried to discourage it, but my friends insisted, and a lot of people have asked when it would be.  If people don't agree/ like it they don't have to come.  Also, having been eight years (my baby stuff is 13 years old), it is like starting over. For some people showers are very social.  They enjoy going and it's ladies time. The showers I have been to, the older ladies especially like to pass around the gifts and reminisce. The moms at church who did not have a second shower still receive gifts for what seem to be weeks!  So perhaps it is cultural.  Don't listen to naysayers.  If someone loves you enough to throw a party, enjoy it.
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