Work?

Coopaloop

Just curious if anyone took time off of work after experiencing a miscarriage and/or a D&C?  I had a D&C yesterday and have decided for the sake of my mental health, I am going to take the rest of the week off.  I'm sitting here at home all alone today and wondering if that was a bad decision though, because now I'm literally just at home thinking and crying and feeling sad.

dmgalley25

I was just told my baby has no hb and the D&C is not til Tuesday. I was just thinking the same thing about work. I feel like i just can't go in. My doctor said well there is no reason not to go. I am thinking you just told me the worlds most devastating news. Do people just go back to work like nothing is wrong?

Septmomtobe

I think each person is different and will do what they feel they need. With my first m/c (natural), it happened over the weekend, I went to work on Monday for a couple hours. At this point I was still hoping it wasn't a m/c, I went to my u/s appt where it was confirmed it was a m/c I took the rest of the day off.  My second m/c (also natural) it actually happened at work when I was at a training off site. I did not take any time off of work.

This is my 3rd m/c but my first missed m/c.  We are seeing if nature will "do it's thing" (for lack of a better term) as my OB office did not offer a medical option besides a d/c.  When I first found out it was likely a missed m/c I was already off of work due to bereavement leave (family member).  Those days were very rough and I wish I was at work to keep my mind busy.  My missed m/c was confirmed last Thursday and I didn't feel the need to take time off.  If I don't have a m/c in the next 2.5 weeks they will do a D&C.  I'm alreading hoping to schedule that for a Friday so I only miss one day of work.

Each person is different.  I do best keeping my mind busy so sitting home wouldn't have been good for me. Others have found that time off is needed and gives them time to grieve.  Do what you feel is best.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Coopaloop

dmgalley25:

I was just told my baby has no hb and the D&C is not til Tuesday. I was just thinking the same thing about work. I feel like i just can't go in. My doctor said well there is no reason not to go. I am thinking you just told me the worlds most devastating news. Do people just go back to work like nothing is wrong?

 Ugh - can't believe your doctor told you there was no reason NOT to go.  Seriously?!  You just got devastating news...of course work isn't going to be your first priority.  

The few people that knew I was pregnant know I am staying home this week, and I feel like a few of them think I am "babying myself" too much.  Maybe that's just me reading too much into things....but I just feel like no one understands (and in reality they probably don't...) 

PPL2011

I'm unemployed right now and I had a D&C yesterday. I just can't stay home or I'll be on the bump and google all day long, besides crying and sleeping. I wish I had a job right now to help me clear my head. I feel completely fine and I'm not bleeding. I'm going for a massage, mani and pedi. I'm sorry for your loss. It's out of our control. Be good to yourself.

overloadedmommy

My doctor actually asked me how long he wanted me to write my note for. He let me decide. I wish I had waited longer. But I had my D&C done on a monday and went back to work on Friday. 

Kate61382

I miscarried last wednesday and had to have a D&C on monday morning.  I took off of work yesterday and today as well.  Unfortunately for me, I work around a ton of people and I am not one to keep good news to myself, so almost everyone that I work with knew that I was pregnant.  I don't know how to face them all to tell them that I lost the baby.  I told a few people in hopes that they would spread the word and hopefully most people will just leave me alone. 

I'm glad that I took a few days off of work, but I have been sitting around thinking and crying alot.  I try to watch funny movies and my DH has been amazing through it all.  Do what you need to do.  Your body will tell you when you need to get out of the house.  And, if you do go to work and can't deal, then leave early.  If you don't want to go to work, try to go shopping or get a massage or a mani/pedi.  Take care of yourself!  I feel for you and wish you the best of luck!

MWoodside

Yes I did.  I found out the baby died on a Wed, Dr recommended the rest of that week off to process the info & decide how to proceed. I chose a D&C so that was scheduled for the following Monday.  I took that entire week off.

My bastard employer denied my short-term dis claim, even though my Dr directed how much time I should be off & wrote all the required notes.  I am appealling it.

I'm sorry for your loss.

MWoodside

Coopaloop:

The few people that knew I was pregnant know I am staying home this week, and I feel like a few of them think I am "babying myself" too much.  Maybe that's just me reading too much into things....but I just feel like no one understands (and in reality they probably don't...) 

Umm let me guess... those jerks never had a m/c.  Everyone grieves differently.  However you feel is ok.  Some people want to get back to the normal routine asap & just move on.  Others need time.  Take care of you & forget what anyone else thinks.

zzyyxx

That is a terrible thing for your doc to say! I'm sorry. I totally understand. I'm waiting to miscarry right now and I know when I do ultimately miscarry or have the D&C, I'll need to take some time. This limbo period is the worst, though. I can't stay home indefinitely until something happens. So, I am here, randomly snapping at people and getting teary for, what looks to the outside world, no reason, and generally not getting anything done.

janastep73

I had my ultrasound that confirmed a missed miscarriage on Thursday at 1:30pm and by 5:30 Friday morning, I was in admissions waiting for my d&c. I had the rest of Friday with my husband to grieve, spent the weekend with my husband and son, then went back to work on Monday.  I didn't get much done the first few days but I'm glad I went back when I did because otherwise I would have just sat at home and cried and felt sorry for myself (which is what I did all weekend).  I think everyone is different in their needs for grieving but returning to a sense of normalcy is what I feel I need when I've experienced a loss (miscarriage or otherwise).  I also had spent a bunch of my PTO and ended up going in the red the day I had my D&C, but I'm sure that if I had needed more time off, my boss would have been fine with that.

I will say I felt like sh!t all weekend, and it wasn't until I went back to work that I started to feel a bit normal again.  But, I work in a job where 1)most of the people in my department were either on vacation or travelling for business when I was due to come back and 2)I can put headphones on and do my work and not talk to anyone if I don't want to (which I didn't). 

 Good luck--my T&P are with you.

klbowie

I am so sorry for your loss.  I had commented on your post in first trimester about your appointment and how I was going through the similar and would update you after my appointment.  While obviously it was not good for either of us.  I am so sorry you are here.

I tried to go back to work today after miscarrying on Sunday.  Let me tell you I was no good.  My boss pretty much told me take the rest of the week off.  I felt like being at work and not thinking about my loss was like trying to quit smoking.  It was all I could think about. 

I got to work and couldn't concentrate and felt like I could barely breather.  It was too early for me to go back.  You really have to listen to yourself.  I wanted the normal routine again but wasn't ready.  No one can judge you for something they aren't experiencing.  Every one is different and everyone grieves differently.  T&P's and I hope the days get easier for you.

dmgalley25

I feel like once it "passes" either naturally (i pray) or the D&C Tuesday i will be ready to go back to work right away. Knowing he is gone but still feelingpg just has me so upset. I know once i start to pass him I will be a mess and god forbid that happens at work. I have to take a train and subway to get home. If she would have done the D&C today i would have done it gladly. This is so hard.thank you all so much. I'd be lost right now.

Coopaloop

klbowie:

I am so sorry for your loss.  I had commented on your post in first trimester about your appointment and how I was going through the similar and would update you after my appointment.  While obviously it was not good for either of us.  I am so sorry you are here.

I tried to go back to work today after miscarrying on Sunday.  Let me tell you I was no good.  My boss pretty much told me take the rest of the week off.  I felt like being at work and not thinking about my loss was like trying to quit smoking.  It was all I could think about. 

I got to work and couldn't concentrate and felt like I could barely breather.  It was too early for me to go back.  You really have to listen to yourself.  I wanted the normal routine again but wasn't ready.  No one can judge you for something they aren't experiencing.  Every one is different and everyone grieves differently.  T&P's and I hope the days get easier for you.

 

I recognize your name from the post I made a few weeks ago on the first tri board, and I am so, so sad to see you here.  Sad for both of us, really.  I hope your time off work lets you have some time to sort out these awful feelings.  Sending good vibes your way. 

JonathansMommy

I had a missed m/c yesterday morning, was at the er the past 2 nights.  I was supposed to be 16 weeks but found out baby stopped growing at 8 weeks and no hb.  I took the rest of the week off to rest and really just to try to mentally get through this.  And i work at a bank in a small town and just feel like people will ask questions if they see i am no longer wearing maternity clothes.  I wish i could just put a sign up saying "no longer pregnant-dont ask".  its hard especially working with the public.  good luck to you!