all I can do is cry.

dmgalley25

I just found out my babies heart is no longer beating. This time last week I was seeing my LO beating away on the us. No he's gone. except not really. They sent me home saying i should  start to bleed soon. If not the will do a D&C tuesday. I can't go to work. I can't do anything but cry. i still feel pregnant. Right now i feel like i will never get past this...

PPL2011

I'm so sorry. I'm in the same boat. Just had my D&C yesterday. My baby stopped growing at 6w2d and no more heartbeat. I'm heart broken. It's out of our control. Be good to yourself and take time to heal.

dmgalley25

thank you both. It is just so hard.

kat530_528

Although it seems like the pain will never dull, the cliche that time heals things is true.  It has been about 7 months for me and I would be lying if I said that some days aren't worse than others and that other days are fine.  I would say that it took me a good few months to really be able to get out of bed and not feel like there was a dark cloud looming over me.  That's not to say that I still don't wake up sometimes and feel a little sad but it's definitely less frequent.  You will never stop thinking about your baby because s/he was yours.  This baby will always be in your heart and that's OK, you are his/her mother.  You need to give yourself the time and space to grieve and allow yourself to break down whenever you need to.  My thoughts are with you.

dmgalley25

Thank you Kat.

zzyyxx

(((hugs)))

 

I understand. I'm also finding that I still feel pregnant--all the symptoms are still there--and I keep thinking they must have made a mistake. Even though I know they didn't.  I try to keep remembering that this too shall pass. I'm sorry for your loss. We will get through this and it will start to hurt less.

Coopaloop

I'm so sorry.  I am in the same boat.  I found out yesterday my baby's heart stopped beating and because I leave the country on Saturday, I had a D&C just a few hours later.  I too still feel pregnant....bloated and uncomfortable.  But mostly just sad.  I'm sorry for your loss.  Hang in there.

Heaven Rose

I am so sorry for your loss. I was in your place not so long ago. I am just 11 days post m/c. I spent the first 6 days doing nothing but crying and questioning the world around me. What did i do? Why me? We tried for so long I deserve to have my baby!  I felt as if no one in the world understood my pain not even my boyfriend who held my hand and wiped my tears as i cried.

I know that there are no words that i can offer you to make you magically feel better. Nothing that will ease the pain of your loss. But it is very important for you to know 3 things.

            1. This is not because of you, you did not fail at pregnancy.

            2. You are not alone, there are others who feel your same pain.

            3. With time this to will get easier.

 I went back to my doctor today for a follow up and she informed me that 1/2 of the patients that she sees in a day have miscarried and that  most of them go on to have healthy pregnancies afterwards

Please know that today is hard, tomorrow may not be much better but with time it will get easier. I found that what helped me was turning it over to my higher power and then asking for help from a few other higher powers as an added bonus (god, horoscope,  & a priestess to bless me)

dmgalley25

thank you so much. This morning i no longer feel pg so that makes it a bit easier to take. I think once i have the d&c I can start to pull it together. I know my baby went to a better place and we will be together some day. I feel like he must have been to sick and he just wouldn't have made it. This way he does not suffer. Love to you all as we go through this. Thanks for being there.

Mermaid1979

First of all-- I am *so* very sorry for your loss and although I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better, I hope you can find solace in a community of women who understand what you're going through. I too cried constantly the first few days and then it lessened gradually over time-- a few times a day, then once a day, then once every couple day, then once a week, then every once in a while when something in particular would trigger it. Give yourself time to go through the natural grieving process. Maybe it will get easier once you've had the d&c, but allow yourself to feel however you feel. It's *totally* normal.

You need time to process this both physically and emotionally and it's best to be gentle with yourself and find comfort in the ways that help you the most. I came on here a lot when it first happened; I listened to music that resonated with how I felt; watched movies that made me feel better; talked to friends; and tried to pray for understanding and acceptance of what had happened. I'm not a very religious person, but do have a spiritual life, so it made me feel that I now have a child in spirit who is watching over me and my husband. That gave me some comfort eventually, once I had come to grips with the reality of not being pregnant anymore and had gone through the worst of my mourning. 

Take care of yourself and keep posting here if that helps...

Be well,

Cari