Is there a way to ask this?

GuitaristsGirl

Or otherwise figure this out?

I hope this isn't flame worthy, but when we're out and about, I'd love to know which of the other caregivers are moms/ dads, nannies, grandmothers, etc.  I sure don't want to make assumptions by sight alone.  Any way to invite this information in conversation?

Melicakes

Maybe if in the initial conversation you ask "Oh, how old is your son/daughter" then they can answer "She/he's x  old" Or "Actually ,this is my grandkid/charge and they are x old"

GypsyEsq

I like melicakes' answer but have to tell you my Dad took DD to Little Gym a few times and the nannies (we know they are nannies) all surrounded him and wanted to know who he was and why he had DD. They were satisfied with grandpa

krissyh21

Melicakes:

Maybe if in the initial conversation you ask "Oh, how old is your son/daughter" then they can answer "She/he's x  old" Or "Actually ,this is my grandkid/charge and they are x old"

Yep - that is how I would do it. Better to suggest someone is their daughter/son than granddaughter/son when asking (coming from someone who was asked if Dillon was my grandson! - !!! - ruined my whole day.)

MBandBud

Man at the checkout a few months ago: "Oh what a cute granddaughter"... and when I informed him that she was my daughter, he says, "really?".  Uh-huh.  Just because most people around these here parts have kids at 16, doesn't mean I do.  I was only sorry that I didn't have a comeback.  Esp at the 'Really?" part. 

So, yes, I think presuming child is safest and it can be corrected. 

Radler

We are at the park a lot here, and I find that usually within a few minutes of conversation, the kid will refer to the caregiver by name (or as mommy/daddy), or the caregiver will refer to herself/himself in the third person, making it clear. I don't usually assume it's their child -- I just introduce myself and my son and ask what the kid's name is. 

I will say that the SAHM-to-nanny ratio is probably 1:4 at my park, though (and that's by talking to people, not by sight!) 

togo

Numerous times people have asked me "are they yours?" "I thought you were the nanny" I don't get offended by it but I don't think I look that young. 

 

pandabearlover

This is a sensitive topic for me.  I hate being asked if my friend's son is mine or having people give him a voice and call me his mommy.  He's a month younger than Quincy should be so it's painful.

So, for me, I just don't ask/refer to the relationship. Kind of like how I don't ask if people are having more kids or a kid is their first.  At the most, I might say, "is he yours?" 

If they want me to know, then they will tell me.