I was afraid I'd end up here...

TLR813

My 1st u/s at 7 weeks showed no heartbeat.  I had a follow up u/s this afternoon, where we couldn't find a baby.  The doc said the baby only grew 1 day in the last week, and it's not a viable pregnancy.  I'm now left with the option to let nature take its course, or have a d & c.  DH and I are crushed.  Part of me wants to let nature take its course.  Almost as if it won't feel real until I see it pass.  On the other hand, a d & c means it's over with quickly.  I guess I'll need to sleep on it.  

Everyone is being so nice, and trying to say the right things, but it just feels like if you haven't gone through this, I don't want to talk to you because you don't understand.  

I'm mad, I eat healthy, exercise, never smoked... this shouldn't have happened to me.  That doesn't help anything though.  Trying to stay positive, and hope that next time we'll get our sticky baby.   

kat530_528

I was in the same boat you're in.  I was completely fine; no smoking, no drinking, eating right, and exercising.  This was not supposed to happen...but it happened anyway.  I know you probably heard this a million times until now but it really wasn't your fault.  The hardest thing to do is to stop wondering why and to stop blaming yourself because it's really out of your hands.  You did all that you could and things just happened.  Keep in mind that good things will happen eventually.  You have to believe it because otherwise you'll go completely nuts.  Hang in there!

Dandelion321

I'm very sorry. I'm having all the same feelings as you...most of all SO mad that this happened.  I decided to have a D&E.  Good luck with your decision and welcome. 

Kate61382

I am in the same boat!! Last wednesday was my appt where I was supposed to hear the heartbeat.  I was scheduled to be at 11 weeks, but the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks.  I was devastated!  I chose to have a D&C because my body hadn't even started to pass it naturally, and I felt that I couldn't completely grieve the loss until the baby was technically "gone".  It was a tough decision to come to and it isn't something to take lightly.  My DH and I decided to do it because, even though it was my first pregnancy and miscarriage, my doctor said that they could test for abnormalities. 

 I had the D&C yesterday morning at the hospital.  I was so nervous, I couldn't stop shaking.  They put me in "twilight" and I don't remember a thing!  It was over and done with in less that 45 minutes and my DH was back with me shortly after that.  I have had some bleeding and cramping, especially when I exert myself.  The bleeding has gone down a lot today though.  I won't be going back to work until thursday so that I can relax and heal.  

 I was the same as you...I eat fairly healthy, am active, don't smoke, at a healthy weight, and don't have any medical problems.  I don't know why it has happened to us, but talking to people, there are A LOT of women who have gone through this.  It actually SHOCKED me to hear all the women who have!  

I am trying to stay positive too.  Friends of mine have also said that their dr's have told them that it may even be easier to get pregnant again shortly after a miscarriage because your body already thinks that it is preggo.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is true and happens for the both of us.  My very close friend actually got pregnant only after one cycle!  *FINGERS CROSSED!*

Keep praying, and when the timing is right, it will happen.  (I keep telling myself this!) :-)

ilenegrace

I'm very sorry for your loss!

behapy2day

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Septmomtobe

First, I want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this and had to join this group.

I also want to let you know that you are not alone.  Right now, I am in the same boat as you.  My missed m/c was confirmed at a second u/s on 3/29.  My OB gave me the options of D&C or waiting 3 weeks to see if it will naturally pass.  As hard as it is, and as much as I want to move on, I'm waiting to see if nature will do it's thing.  My doctor explained the possible risks of a D&C including problems conceiving later and since this is my 3rd m/c I do not want any more odds against me if we can help it.  She did say that if nature doesn't do it on it's own in 3 weeks, we will have no choice but to do a D&C.  I've been spotting on and off for about 10 days now, so I'm not sure what to think.  Maybe my body is preparing or it's just going to be a long 3 weeks and I will end up where I don't want to be.  My other 2 m/c were natural and very quick so this is new for me.

Hang in there...take care of yourself.  Know that you are not alone in this rough journey.