can we rehash strategies for dealing w/ crazy 3 yos again?

KathrynMD

OMG - DD is so nutso in the mornings!

She's either defiant and sassy or she's a hysterical sobbing mess - and then she's fine.

She wants to wear dresses every day - which is fine - I bought her a bunch of dresses, but inevitably the one she wants to wear is in the wash or she spilled chocolate milk on it the day before, etc.  The last few mornnings she's had accidents right after she wakes up (which then throws everything off) and upsets her, so this morning I convinced her to go pee right after she woke up, but then the hysterics started w/ the dresses, etc.

Pesky

Maybe you can add some JD to your coffee or vodka to your OJ.  That might help me.

Otherwise, you know the drill -- likely a phase.  Keep firm, as they can smell weakness.  It too shall pass.

howleyshell

Pesky:

Maybe you can add some JD to your coffee or vodka to your OJ.  That might help me.

Otherwise, you know the drill -- likely a phase.  Keep firm, as they can smell weakness.  It too shall pass.

OMG... I just spat water at my lap top.

Classic, Pesky..... CLASSIC!!

 

Ditto Pesky.

Wanted to add that when we started experiencing clothing wars in the mornings that was when we started making them pick out their clothes the night before.  If they lolly gagged they missed story time so they were motivated to be quick and non-dramatic about it.

Another thought is to get her up earlier to allow plenty of time for the dramatics.  I usually walk away and say "let me know when you're ready to calm down and I'll be happy to help you out."

If you've got a cushion of time you have the luxury of ignoring the dramatics.

Of course if you don't have the luxury of time there's always the putting them in the car naked.  Nothing has motivated my kids to listen and get dressed when I ask them to like the ONE time I put one of them in the car with nothing on but their underwear.  He was BEGGING me to get dressed by the time we got where we were going (an OB appointment for me as I was miscarrying).  He never pushed back on getting dressed again.

 

However...  I really do like Pesky's idea of spiking your morning drink the best!

 

KathrynMD

howleyshell:

Pesky:

Maybe you can add some JD to your coffee or vodka to your OJ.  That might help me.

Otherwise, you know the drill -- likely a phase.  Keep firm, as they can smell weakness.  It too shall pass.

OMG... I just spat water at my lap top.

Classic, Pesky..... CLASSIC!!

 

Ditto Pesky.

Wanted to add that when we started experiencing clothing wars in the mornings that was when we started making them pick out their clothes the night before.  If they lolly gagged they missed story time so they were motivated to be quick and non-dramatic about it.

Another thought is to get her up earlier to allow plenty of time for the dramatics.  I usually walk away and say "let me know when you're ready to calm down and I'll be happy to help you out."

If you've got a cushion of time you have the luxury of ignoring the dramatics.

Of course if you don't have the luxury of time there's always the putting them in the car naked.  Nothing has motivated my kids to listen and get dressed when I ask them to like the ONE time I put one of them in the car with nothing on but their underwear.  He was BEGGING me to get dressed by the time we got where we were going (an OB appointment for me as I was miscarrying).  He never pushed back on getting dressed again.

 

However...  I really do like Pesky's idea of spiking your morning drink the best!

 

hmmmm - sorry about the dramatics when you were miscarrying!  They know the absolute worst moments, right?  Yeah. ..  I give her a good cushion to work out the dramatics.  I think I need to just leave immediately when she starts throwing a fit and not engage her at all. .. And, just "mom up" and take her to school naked if she gets too out of control.

Karma1969

Last night my three year old told me I was being difficult. 

I have no advice to offer.

KathrynMD

DD will tell me "I'm frusta-raided with you Mommy"

Wonder where she gets that from . ..

KL777

I agree with the others that it's a phase.  It's a hard time period but thankfully it is a phase.

When DS goes into one of his major tantrums, I let him cool down and then talk to him, hold him, and ask him what's wrong.  We talk, he apologizes and then he receives his punishment (it varies based on the circumstances).

Aimathy

Oh my goodness....between the "dealing with crazy 3 year olds" and "they smell weakness" lines, I had my laugh for the day!  Thank you!  It reminded me, yet again, that we're not alone. 

futrkingsley

They DO smell weakness!  My DH is a softie and DS KNOWS it and uses it for evil.  I called them both on it over the weekend.  My deal with my crazy 3 y.o. is that I do not negotiate with people who yell at me, speak unkindly to me, or get physical in an unwanted way.  So until you can be civil, please leave me alone (meaning stay in your room).  It riles him up good (he hates to not be in control), but then he always comes crying back with appropriate remorse (which lasts 30 seconds but it's a start). 

AZ123

I know! they are nutty and can change moods at any time. I'm finding clear rules are making life so much easier and they don't change day-to-day. DS1 has to go potty and be dressed each morning before he can come into our room. He can't come into our room until the clock says 7am otherwise, he loses his 1x cartoon in the morning. It works really well and even if he's on a streak of following the rule and then breaks it one day, he still loses tv - so no oops days.

KathrynMD

AZ123:

I know! they are nutty and can change moods at any time. I'm finding clear rules are making life so much easier and they don't change day-to-day. DS1 has to go potty and be dressed each morning before he can come into our room. He can't come into our room until the clock says 7am otherwise, he loses his 1x cartoon in the morning. It works really well and even if he's on a streak of following the rule and then breaks it one day, he still loses tv - so no oops days.

yeah. ..  maybe I need to do this.  I try to avoid letting her watch TV in the am b/c its such a time suck, but I end up doing in anyway out of frustration.  Maybe tonight we'll go over the new morning rules and consequences/rewards.

Pesky

Another thought -- though I still like alcohol refuge the best -- is what someone suggested (in a magazine or here -- can't remember).  Cut out pictures that apply to her morning tasks, glue it a piece of paper and laminate it.  Then get a dry-erase marker and she gets to check off her list as she goes through the morning.  Go potty -- check!  Get dressed in outfit picked out night before -- check!  Brush teeth -- check!  It could help her feel more self-sufficient and by giving her something else to focus on, it might pull her attention away from the dress not being what she wants to being able to put a check mark on her morning chart.

KathrynMD

Pesky - this is a brillant idea and may come into play this weekend!

C.squared

Some of these responses really made me laugh as we're going through the same thing.  I took DD to the car without her shoes the other day because she was stalling so much and I was going to be late.  Ever since, she's put her shoes on pretty quickly when I ask.  I do also like the idea of putting the morning routine into pictures.  My DD really likes to be in control of the process (she likes to be the line leader when we come downstairs in the morning), so I can see her "leading" me through the routine with something like that.  Good luck and hope it gets easier soon!