I know these have probably been asked before...

littlemac1117

but can you ladies answer some questions and describe a few things for me as they were during your L&D?

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? What did they feel like?

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had?

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions?

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief?

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing?

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped?

 

Thanks in advance if you answer, I am just trying to get a real picture of what labor can be like. With my son, I never went into labor because he had a heart condition and was born via c/s at 36 weeks, but I had had my heart set on a med-free birth from the beginning. So I don't even know what a real contraction feels like. This time, I am going to VBAC, and I just want to see what I am going to be working with.

 

teresajean01

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? What did they feel like?

Not as bad as I had heard or expected. The process is so different from any other experience.  

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had?

Similar to BH in early labor, but with nausea for me.  

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions?

Better because I knew LO was almost here.  I even touched her head - great inspiration to push.  

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief?

The bathtub. I spent almost my entire labor in the tub.

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing?

I pushed in a reclined position, pulling my knees up and out.

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped?

DH was a lifesaver in advocating my wishes during labor.  He insisted on the portable fetal monitor when it was needed so I never had to lay in bed (which was the worst position for me) and made sure I got to eat and drink.

annabelle.27

You're not going to like my answers but I'll be honest because you asked:

1: serious contractions: they're bad. There are no words, seriously. I'm told I had more painful labours than average (my first son was OP with brow presentation, I'm told OP labours can be worse. The second was a very fast labour, which sounds ideal, but you basically start off in transition [the very worst part of labour] with no lead-up of early labour to help prepare you, so maybe my experience is not typical). With my first son, the contractions felt nothing like I'd expected. I expected a kind of tightening, implied by the term "contractions." However, it felt like my bladder was going to explode (and why I thought the pain was coming from my bladder, I have no idea). It literally felt like something was ripping open. The second time around, I can't describe really what it felt like. To be honest I think I've started to block some of it out. It was definitely more painful than my first labour, thankfully it was short.

2. There is no comparion to BH contractions or period cramps, at least for me. They didn't feel similar at all (but again, I think my real contractions were atypical) and the real ones were infinitely more painful.

3. I never had the "ring of fire." I didn't find pushing particularly painful (aside from the aforementioned contractions, which unfortunately don't go away with pushing). With my second labour, I was surprised when the midwife said she could see the baby's head- I didn't think it was possible that he was coming out already because I didn't feel any different.

4. Pain relief: with DS1, sitting on the birth ball in the shower with the spray aimed at my back helped a lot. It was the only thing that did- every other position or technique I had tried (including sitting in the bathtub) didn't help at all. With DS2, nothing helped, but I also didn't have a heck of a lot of time to try different things. My husband had just finished blowing up the birth tub (home waterbirth) when I started pushing, so I never really got much of a chance to see if the water helped the pain. Maybe the water did help while pushing, which is why I never got the ring of fire feeling?

5. With DS1, I had a hospital birth (which ended in c-section) and they made me push on my back, with my husband and a nurse pushing my knees back into my chest. That did not feel like a productive position. With DS2 I pushed on my knees, leaning forward over the wall of the birthtub, resting my head on my husband's shoulder- kind of a modified hands-and-knees position.

6. With DS1, my husband stood behind me and kept the shower spray on my back. He also brought me little snacks, which were heaven (I still remember the oranges he brought me being the best thing I have ever eaten, either before or since). With DS2 I mostly just wanted him near me. I think I really just wanted lots of quiet and a calm environment. With DS1, it was the nurse who got me on the birth ball in the shower, and that was a huge help. Massaging or positive words of encouragement didn't really help.

I probably sound like a bit of a negative nelly, but really, I signed up to go natural a second time so despite how bad I'm making it sounds, something in me must have felt it was worth it. With DS1 I had planned to labour at home as long as possible, but four hours into a 16 hour labour I was in so much pain I ended up going to the hospital to get the drugs. When I got there the nurse convinced me to keep trying au naturel, and that's when she shoved me in the shower. Like I said, it helped immensely, so I would say, stay open to trying new things and if you're finding the pain unmanageable, ask your midwife/doula/whoever for advice in changing things up. That shower got me through that labour med-free. With DS2, the pain was worse, but I actually never thought to transfer to the hospital for pain medication. I even asked my husband afterwards if I had asked, and he said no. So even though I believe there is nothing you can do to truly prepare yourself for what to expect, it's definitely doable.

The biggest thing, in my experience, is having positive, supportive people around who are able to adjust to whatever you need. You want encouragement? They can be cheerleaders. You want quiet? They don't make a sound. They'll rub your back, or bring you food, or help you change positions, or whatever you feel you need at that moment, and do so without showing you that they are tired, or stressed, or anxious, or anything else (with my very fast labour, I started pushing before the midwife was there, and my husband told me later that he thought he was going to die. He immediately called the midwife, who talked him through catching the baby. My husband said that he was so scared that he was swallowing back vomit the whole time, and even grabbed his jacket and put it on the floor in front of him, figuring that if he did vomit into the jacket he could bundle up the jacket and throw it out of the room to get rid of the mess. Fortunately, the midwife made it in time. But my husband was so calm-acting even through all that I had no idea he was so scared, which is good, because I had my own fear and pain to deal with, I didn't need his).

atcwag

I have absolutely no input on any of this b/c I am just beginning the process of TTC, but OP, I wanted to tell you that your picture is maybe the cutest thing I have ever seen!

littlemac1117

Thank you so much for your honesty. I know that some women do have very easy labors, but I think that I'd rather hear about more deliveries like yours, because then when I do find myself in pain, I won't feel like there is something wrong with me. Luckily the hospital I will be giving birth at is very natural birth friendly. They have a midwife practice and even offer waterbirth as an option (totally jumping on that), so I think I will have a lot in the way of support. I am also considering hiring a doula. Anyway, thank you so much for being very open about your labor experience, it sounds like both were pretty damn intense!

littlemac1117

atcwag:

I have absolutely no input on any of this b/c I am just beginning the process of TTC, but OP, I wanted to tell you that your picture is maybe the cutest thing I have ever seen!

Haha thank you! It cracks me up every time I see it. I'm so glad I caught it on film because that was the only time he's ever made that hilarious face!

KateLouise

cassie.dall:

but can you ladies answer some questions and describe a few things for me as they were during your L&D?

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? What did they feel like?

For me it was different with each birth. DD1 it was painful in my back that spread round to my belly.

DD2 it was painful down low in my belly that spread down my thighs.

During transition it was really bad, in that I thought, "I'm handling this but I can't do anything harder than this." but as it is it never got harder. I would dread each contraction as it started, but of course they pass, and you get a breather in between. 

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had?

I've never had period pain. My BH felt like tightening but not painful. 

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions?

I fear tearing badfly, so I hate the ring of fire because I try to fight it, and I just think I'll tear from one to the other. I never had. DD1 was 9 pounds and I had 2 stitches. DD2 was 10 pounds and I didn't need any stitches. 

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief?

Warm water, in the shower and the tub. 

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing?

Standing and leaning forward, sometimes squatting my legs, over the bed or rail or whatever. Moving my hips as well. If I can't lean forward like in the shower, I find lifting one leg up (onto the edge of the bath tub) and squatting down helps. 

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped? NA

 

Good luck!!!!!

 

KansasGoa

Honestly, I don't know how to describe real contractions. They felt like low cramps that tightened around my entire abdomen. I can't say that they were pain  free, but they were pain with a purpose and with movement and breathing - completely doable. 

I didn't feel a ring of fire.

I stayed in the shower for a large portion of my labor - something about the warmth and the soothing nature of water kept me really focused. 

For labor, I was on hands and knees. For pushing, I delivered in a side-lying position.  

 My DH and doula kept me hydrated, encouraged and other distractions to a minimum. 

luvmyducks

cassie.dall:

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? What did they feel like?

--In the beginning they just felt like painful menstrual cramps and uncomfortable tightness kinda like BH.  Later I had back labor and it was just horrible pain in my lower back. 

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had?

--The tightness was similar but that was it.  BH had no pain for me.  In the beginning they were like bad menstrual cramps.  During transition I'm not really sure--it just hurt like a biitch. 

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions?

--Crowning was the only time during my entire labor that I made noise/screamed.  It hurt baaad. 

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief?  

--I just kept telling myself it would be over soon.  I took each contraction one at a time.  During active labor I did that and breathed and it was super manageable.  Transition was hard but I think it was hard bc I was stuck in transition for over 4hrs--I ended up getting an intrathecal that lasted for 2hrs of that, but pushed with nothing.  Pushing was painful in my hips.  I didn't cope well with the pain at this point.   

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing?

--On my back.  I tried every position you could think of, but that was the one that was best for me. 

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped?

--Doula massaged my back during active labor and transition.  During pushing it hurt the most in my hips (found out after delivery that DD was coming down crooked) so she would help massage my hips between pushes.  She was also very knowledgable of the whole hospital birthing process so she helped me feel much better about everything.

MawrtyrB

1/2. The pain more whole body rather than so isolated. For me it was a strong urge to curse obscenities for the duration. Yes worse than period cramps but somehow more bearable becuase it's for a good cause.

3. I can't really pick out any specific feeling for this. I go through transition pretty quickly. And then it turns into more of a point of no return situation. Let's do this and get this kid out of me. I think it felt better. Pushing felt better becuase I was doing something. With my big one (10lb 1 oz) it became much more bearable to push/bear down with the contractions. Midwife recommended it even though I didn't think I was ready yet. And it really helped.

4. Music, primarily. I had made a whole relaxation playlist and never used it. I put my favorite songs on and sang my way through labor. Talking with DH and doula, just trying to stay distracted. We played cards for a bit until it got too much. The natural friendly hospital gave me these gloriously large heat packs for my back and stomach. They felt amazing.

 5. Going to the bathroom and sitting in the rocking chair. It's pure torture for me to be in the bed. The pain isolates in the worst possible spot for me. I can almost relax in the rocker. Standard hospital protocol for pushing, but I didn't push for very long. All my babies came out quick.

 6. DH and doula would stroke my head and arms and remind me to relax. I could not for the life of me get my butt to relax with my big baby. And I tried really really hard. When I was walking, doula did some of the hip compression and back rubbing.

superned

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? What did they feel like? During transition it felt like my whole middle was being squeezed in a giant vice.

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had? I did not have a ton of BH, but I could tell when the real ones came because they were regular and got stronger.  I would say they felt like AF cramps only until I was about 5-6cm, then I started getting the vice-like feeling.  I have endometriosis, so I've dealt with bad cramps before and these were pretty similar (once I was actually in labor).

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions? Honestly, I barely noticed it.  The doctor said, "This might burn," and I kept waiting, but I never really felt it.

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief? Water - first the tub and then the shower

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing? Labor was best either on my hands and knees or sitting in the shower with the warm water right on my belly.  I pushed on my back because my legs felt too weak to stand/squat, but that was a mistake.  I totally messed up my pelvis and will definitely NOT be pushing on my back this time!

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped? My DH was great, just being there and bringing me water.  Once I hit transition it was like an out-of-body experience for me, so I hardly even noticed him.  Overall, the labor and delivery were very stress-free for me and I credit DH for that...I'm sure he did all kinds of stuff that I still don't know about!

FyreFlyeRush

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? Transitional Labor was intense. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being OMG OMG We're all gonna die, they were about an 8. An Abscessed tooth is worse. What did they feel like? You know that picture they show you? Of the the contrations? The spikey jagged lines? That's a pretty dang good description.

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? Not even remotely similar. How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had? I have verypainful cycles. Like sitting on the floor of the bathroom at work bawling my eyes out pain. Until transition, it wasn't as bad as an average monthly cycle. And, transition was only slightly worse than my worst period cramping.

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? I don't remember feeling anything but pressure. Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions? By that point, the pain eased back, and the pressure was all that was on my mind. You sort of go on autopilot.

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief? Rocking chair, walking, and warm baths. Breathing was my biggest relief.

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing? Oddly, I was most comfortable FLAT on my back with my legs bent up. I grabbed my thighs as I pushed. She was out in three.

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped? My mom helped me during transition by talking to to me. It kept me focused on my breathing and distracted from the pain. We were in the car, and it was pretty intense. I transitioned in the 10 minute drive to the hospital.

Bingo1116

cassie.dall:

but can you ladies answer some questions and describe a few things for me as they were during your L&D?

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? What did they feel like?

When my water broke I didn't have any contractions at first. About an hour later I started to get really crampy like a period. They started to get a definite start and stop time and I was able to time them about 3 minutes apart.  Once we got to the hospital I was already 5-6 cm. Over the next hour my contractions got closer together and more intense.  The worst part for me is that my contractions would come in waves (and usually it was a small wave immediately followed by a large wave so I couldn't get my breath in between).  On the pain scale I would say it would go to about a 6, drop to around a 4 and shoot up to a 9 or 10.  They came very fast which I wasn't quite prepared for.   It felt like a pp said, my whole middle felt like it was in a vice.  I knew when it was time to start pushing because literally she felt like she was going to fall out. . .lots of pressure.

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had?

I didn't have BH.

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions?

The ring of fire SUCKED.  Worst part for me.  I tore, inside and out. She came so fast.  I reached down to feel her head and next thing I knew she was out.  Not only was the physical pain really bad during it, but also knowing that the top of her head was out but her little face was still in there made me start to panic that she couldn't breathe.  I think I was much more prepared for the physical pain than the emotional anguish.

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief?

While the contractions were still bearable, I rolled on the birthing ball.  We tried the tub but the electricity had gone out in the hospital so there was no hot water.  Just made things worse being so cold.   Someone, I can't remember who, squeezed my ear lobe during the bad contractions (I know, strange right?) and somehow that diverted the pain away from the contractions.

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing?

It all happened so fast that I didn't really have a chance to change positions. Literally I sat up on the bed and said I need to push.  A few minutes later, she was out.

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped?

Ear squeezing.  Cold washcloth on my head. 

 

 

polling

cassie.dall:

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? What did they feel like?  For me the worst of them felt like an intense noise that was consuming my entire body

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had? BH does not compare to a real contraction (BH has no pain); compared to the worst period pain I'd say prior to transition they were comparable to me

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions?  Different, scary the first time, well described

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief? During labour?  Thinking about something else, after delivery, frozen pads

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing? Anything that worked including laying on my  back sometimes

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped?  No, I prefer quiet, no interference, nobody touching me

PansyPants

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? What did they feel like?

They were bad. On a scale of 1 to 10, they're so far beyond the scale of what you can conceive that it doesn't apply. That being said, at no point did I feel like I was at my limit. They were the most intense thing I've ever felt but I knew I could take more pain if I needed to. I will admit that I have an extremely high threshold for pain in my regular life and that was the case for labor as well. They feel like every muscle in your body is being pulled toward your uterus and clenching in a way that you cannot escape. It's uncontrollable like a charlie horse in your foot but not as sharp and far more aggressive.

 

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had?

The first hour of contractions was a light period day, the second a medium and the third a heavy day. I always had cramps to the point of being in bed on my worse day and needing complete quiet and darkness to get through the worst of couple of hours. Once I was on the pill it got a lot better. After that it just escalated for the next 13 hours but at some point I just stopped caring what it felt like and considered every contraction a moment to endure regardless of it's level.

 

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions?

I didn't mind crowning. I shouted "I FEEL THE RING OF FIRE!" at my husband because I wanted there to be somebody that would remember how long it was from that point until he was fully born. It took about 4 minutes. I pushed for two hours so when I felt the ring it was amazing, almost pleasurable to know that I was nearly done. Even better was that the instant he emerged, it all stopped. Everything stopped. No pain, no contractions, no effort from me, just my baby. Remember that even if pushing is hard you have to do it so that the contractions will stop.

 

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief?

WATER! The tub was a life saver. I didn't experience transition because I kind of slept through it. From 7-10 centimeters I was in the tub and hadn't slept more than a couple hours in four days. I was exhausted and would pass out as soon as the peak of a contraction ended and wouldn't rouse until about midway up the mountain of the next one. I know this because my doula later told me that she could see my belly contracting before I would wake up and it wouldn't release until I was out again. Without the water I don't think I would have relaxed enough mentally to allow the exhaustion to work to my advantage. Also, I took a bath in around the 5th hour of labor and it was a nice way to relax before things got too intense. I didn't like the shower nearly as much, the water landing on my skin was aggravating to my focus during contractions.

 

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing?

I was very limited for positions because his heart rate would drop in a lot of them. We found out when he was born that the corn was wrapped around his body and again around his neck. I'm including a picture of the best pushing position because I would never be able to explain it in a way that would do it justice. My labor nurse came up with it and said it was how she delivered her second child. It was AMAZING. I switched between this one and squatting for the 2 hours of pushing and crowned in a squat and finished birth like this.

 

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped?

My labor nurse was awesome. My doula was too but Ms. Barbara was just the business. She was awesome at coming up with a working position to push in, she was very engaged in the delivery and was shouting with me to help me vocalize and to encourage big pushes. My doula was great at providing change, she would remind me to move around a little, to get in the tub to keep from getting stiff. My husband was awesome at reading my mind. He knew what I was thinking and could communicate it to everyone else without me having to speak. I though I was talking the whole time but apparently he was just looking at me and then speaking for me. He was also very good at hand holding and that was the most physical contact I wanted most of the time.

sschwege

1) Not as bad as I was expecting.  It felt like an intense tightening around my stomach which then circled around to my back.

2) I think the feeling is similar to BH although, much more intense.  It didn't feel like cramps to me, although in the same area.

3) Worse, that was the only part of the experience that I would label as painful.  The good thing about it is once you feel that you know you are almost done.  So I guess in a way I was kind of happy to be feeling that because I knew our baby would be in my arms any second.

4) Sitting on a birthing ball and swirling my hips.  DH used two tennis balls as counter pressure for my lower back.  Also a warm rice sock being rolled up and down my back.  The best though was a warm bath and during contractions, DH would pour water over my stomach.  Also listening to my Hypnobirthing music and using visualization.  

5) I tried hand/knees and I was putting too much energy into pushing into my arms.  On my back old school was more effective for me although, I only tried hands & knees.  Next time I think I would like to research other pushing positions.  

6) Just leaving me to do my thing.  Honestly I just wanted my DH and MIL there, but didn't really want talking, which they were great about. 

hilwithonelary

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? What did they feel like? They started off like menstrual cramps, but I don't know how to describe the more intense contractions.  They did have a gradual increase to a peak, and then died off.  While very intense, with my DD, I never felt like the contractions were too much to handle. 

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had? My BH were painless.  I could just feel my belly get tight. 

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions? Crowning was the most painful part of my labor.  Thankfully, it didn't last long. 

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief? Early on, I put my hands around DH's neck and put my face in his chest.  Later, I lay on my side in bed while DH massaged my back.  During each contraction, I concentrated very hard on being in control of my breathing and relaxing all my muscles.

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing? I had a hard time finding a good position.  After trying 4 or 5 different things, I actually ended up in a pretty traditional position.  What did help a lot was some handles on the side of the bed.  I used them to help pull myself forward while I pushed. 

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped? DH was very aware of whether or not I was relaxing my muscles and would remind me to if he saw me tensing up.  He also just remained calm and reassured me when I said, "I can't do it." 

runrinserepeat

1. Contractions, the serious ones. How bad were they? What did they feel like? Think charlie horse in your abdomen. It's tight and pretty painful. You can try to find a more comfortable position, but it just needs to pass before it you're truly comfortable again.

2. How would you compare a labor contraction to a BH contraction? How would you compare it to the worst period cramping you've had? No comparison to bh. Early labor was similar to very bad menstrual cramps, and they only got worse from there.

3. Crowning/"ring of fire"? Was that feeling worse or better to you compared to contractions?I think this hurt much worse, and I didn't even tear all that badly (two tiny periurethral tears, nothing needing stitches). I kept yelling at the OB, "it hurts!!!". It did feel much better to finally push - the worst part of labor was when they had be labor down for more than an hour because there was no doctor to catch. Not pushing when your body wants to push is next to impossible. It felt great when the OB finally came in and I could start working with my body again.

4. What worked the best for you as far as pain relief? Definitely the tub. I was in there from 3-9/10 cm. I'm pretty sure I was even falling asleep toward the end, before DH made me get out.

5. What position(s) was your favorite during labor/pushing? This is weird, but the only position I wanted to be in was on my back. I spent months learning the different positions that would help me relax and speed up labor, but when it came to it, my back was the most comfortable, and I progressed rather quickly (though I was left with an anterior lip, which led to the hour+ of laboring down after going from 3-9 in two hours so it did have it's downside). For pushing, I just sat up a little and pulled my knees to my armpits.

6. What were some things that other people (doula/SO/etc) did for you that really helped? Left me alone, lol. All I wanted was to close my eyes and block it out, at least during stage 1. My husband wasn't even in the bathroom while I labored in the tub. He kept guard for the nurse at the door, bless his heart. For pushing, hearing him tell me what a great job I was doing, that she was slowly coming out really made a difference. Seeing and feeling her crowning were both great motivation, too.

littlemac1117

Thank you so much ladies! This is all really great info, thank you for being honest. I'm just trying to get an idea of what's ahead, and you were all really helpful with your descriptions