Sad to be here and question

zzyyxx

Hi, everyone,

 I'm devastated to be joining you. I found out  last week that my pregnancy is not "viable." I'm supposed to be starting my ninth week, but they only see an abnormally large yolk sac. Laying on the table trying to find a heartbeat, trying to see something with my retroverted uterus was awful.

 They thought I would miscarry in a week. Nothing. I still have full pregnancy symptoms. Other than lower back pain and some pain similar to what I have had with my corpus luteum pain, no signs of impending miscarriage. 

 I have my follow up appointment tomorrow. Some small part of me, even though I know it is not rational, thinks they have made a mistake. I know it will be confirmed again tomorrow, but even though I already know, it will be devastating all over. 

I really don't like any of my options--surgical or medical-- and just really want to miscarry  naturally. Chances of that seem really slim though, given that it appears this should have happened weeks ago.

Waiting is just a different type of torture.

 We had not told our families at all--and my partner and I were the "no kids ever" people, so we were really looking forward to breaking the news and seeing the shock and joy. Now, however, I am left facing this without them and every day when I talk to my mom I tell her "I'm fine" and change the subject. I hate lying.  At this point, I would like her support, particularly if I have to go a surgical route, but don't even know how to do that. I know it will be devastating. 

Have any of you dealt with telling about the m/c, without telling initially about the preganancy?

 

Spruce14

I'm so sorry about your loss. We had not told our families about being PG and decided when we found out about the MC we would tell them what happened. We felt that we could not hold in such a big secret. They were supportive although nobody understands how bad it actually is or knows the right thing to say. I think we made the right decision telling them.

 I hope you get some answers and I hope you find comfort here. ((hugs)) 

baby101010

The in between phase of not knowing and waiting is just awful! I am so sorry  you are going through that right now! Its especially hard when no one knows... maybe now would be a good time to tell your mom what you are going through....

zzyyxx

Thanks so much to everyone for your support. It's been a rough week and it is nice to have a community here to discuss everything we are going through. Really appreciate your comments. This too shall pass.

stel29

My heart just goes out to you so much right now.  The waiting is terrible.  I know, I hear you, and I recognize the weight of what you are saying and going through.  We had only told a few close people about the pregnancy and so most did not know we were even trying or pregnant, much less that we were waiting on a miscarriage.  I had the miscarriage naturally (just a couple of weeks ago; still in the process) and decided that holding that secret in was becoming toxic to me, emotionally.  We told the people around us that we knew would support us, and that has been SUCH a comfort.  If that feels right to you, if you long for that, then I suggest it to you.  Yes, some people will probably say some less-than-helpful things, BUT... some people will say and do some amazingly healing things, and that has been worth it to me.  Just feeling like I don't have to carry this burden alone anymore... you know?  Because, you are not alone.  There's only so much we can do and say for you on these message boards.  I hope that it is helpful for you here, and I also hope you seek out and find the support you need in person.  Best to you....