A question about your emotions.

brideinOC

Try and follow me here...DH got mad at me the other night because I didn't get angry about something he was upset about.  It was about his two older children and he felt that I should also have been angry about how they were treated by someone.  I was concerned, but not *angry*.  This morning, I was crying about an issue between DH and I and he throws out, "I wish you showed this much emotion into the other issue as you do towards this." 

I can cry at the drop of a hat, but anger is just something that I don't show outwardly.  I get angry, but it's very different from DH.  He, on the other hand, shows very little sadness.  I don't expect tears, but apologies are never emotional (for lack of a better explaination). 

Do you show one emotion stronger than others?  I'm curious. 

dusk42

I don't know if I show one more than another, but it's not acceptable for someone to tell me how I should feel or to what extent.  

A & T - TTC

I definately show different emotions stronger than others. Like your DH it is easy for me to get angry, but I do not like to express hurt or sadness. I have looked deeper into this and discovered it was all in what was acceptable in my house growing up. You may look at your past as well as his and discover there are things that molded what you were comfortable showing as you grew up, and that may still be something that is with you today.

I agree that he must accept what you are willing to show just as you must accept the same from him. I think as you do, you understand what is behind the surface emotion. For example, my DH is sometimes able to see that my anger over something is really due to hurt, and I am more able to express that to him too. 

klaus

DH and I are very different in how we show emotion.  I can get easily riled up about certain things and my feelings can get hurt easily too.  My DH lets things roll off him, the same things don't bother him.

When I am upset and he isn't and is annoyed that I am, I remind him that we are different, feel differently, act differently and show emotion differently.  I also remind him that I am entitile to feel however I feel and he can't control how I feel.  This is when he goes away and lets me mope about for a bit or have a good cry or watch a lifetime movie

alchris

I think you're very insightful to understand that sadness comes easier for you and anger comes easier for him.  I bet that's true in many couples who doesn't realize it!  But...he should realize it too.  It's not OK for him to tell you that you should have been livid at something, especially given the circumstances the other night and especially in the context of this morning.

I can cry at the drop of a hat too, so I understand.  DH is quite even-keel, but relatively speaking he does show more anger.  It's an issue to me that he often gets quite angry at me in front of the girls.

(((HUGS)))

LVBlvd

My husband can have issues with anger from time to time.  He yells before he thinks.  The good thing is, after he cools off, I explain what happened, he realizes what he did and apologizes genuinely.  But the problem is, he doesn't stop doing it.

I, on the other hand, can be too dramatic.  I let my emotions get the best of me and can get irrational.

Luckily, both DH and I love each other and are committed to our relationship, despite these things.

But yes, to answer your question, my husband gets angry easily and I get sad easily.   

dana316

I have a problem with anger...I get mad/frustrated pretty easily and can have a tough time managing it.

I don't do sad very much...I'm much more in touch with my anger/frustration than any other emotion.

dundasgirl

I have been thinking about my feelings, moods and emotions quite a bit since my Mom died (and it's over two years ago now).  I think my hormones get the best of me once a month or so and I can be frustrated and kind of distant. 

My DH is very into communication to the point where he overthinks things sometimes.  He will think that if I am having a bad day that it's this huge crisis, when I just think I am having a bad day.

 

qtpa2t

dana316:

I have a problem with anger...I get mad/frustrated pretty easily and can have a tough time managing it.

I don't do sad very much...I'm much more in touch with my anger/frustration than any other emotion.

Are we twins?  I think this sums me up in a nutshell.