BD vent

tpstover

Im 34 weeks pregnant, and feeling a little bummed that the father doesn't ask about his daughter. We're friends on FB...and see's all my post about her...sonograms...doctor visits... and etc... When I go to peek at his page...he talks about hanging out with other girls... drinking..smoking...poping pills...and all of that dumb stuff. He had the NERVE to say that I am using him for his money...but he has none...the money he gets is from food stamps...which he sells to get cash in hand...and first of all...he stayed with me for the 3 months we were together....I paid for the food...i drove him to pick his other kids up...and I still get treated like this... A little ppart of me thought that he would come around...but my mom was right...I DONT wanna be with him...i just wish he would show intrest...sigh....idik

FyreFlyeRush

I understand and know the feeling. I finally unfriended mine because I got sick of seeing him eating at The Melting Pot or Ruth Chis. Going out here and there. Buying stuff for his car. I don't care that he has a new gf. I left him for a reason. But, it pisses me off that when I asked for financial help, he couldn't afford it and he told all our friends I was a money hungry female dog. Yet, he's throwing around money left and right, and my so called "friends" dont see a problem with it. It just stings.

Things MAY change when the baby comes. They may not. But, make sure to file for child support. He has the responsibility to provide for his child. 

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FyreFlyeRush

beccaga16:

I get being disapointed that a father does not show interest in a child... but you knew who this person was before you got pregnant. Obviously the fact that you had a relatiosship with him can't be changed at this point, so focus on yourself and the baby.

I suggest therapy, not in a snarky way, I just found it to ba a great help. It helped me figure out why I made bad desisions in the past and how to avoid falling into them in the future.

Let this guy makes his own mistakes and do not communicate with him unless it is about the baby. Keep it toatlly business like and don't feed into drama. Do not do him any favors or interact with him if he is on drugs.

Yup.  

CFjo2010

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.  It's so hard when the fathers just don't show any interest in their child.  I agree with PP: this behavior might change once the baby is born.  Actually seeing the baby might make this situation a little more real for BD.  If the behavior doesn't change, fine.  You just need to focus on being the most amazing mother that little baby could ever have.  We can't force our children's fathers to be interested or involved.  It sucks, but it's the cold ugly truth.

On the flip side, my XH was totally involved with both pregnancies and was an active parent until we separated.  Once we separated and got divorced he dropped a smoke bomb and essentially disappeared from the kids' lives.  He moved across the country, doesn't pay his CS, sees them once or twice a year and isn't involved in their activities at all.  Sometimes even the "good ones" turn bad.