nervous about baby #2

Amy&Anthony

HI DS is a co sleeper, almost four and really very close to the both of us, but me especially. #2 is on their way, and I am nervous about how to acclimate all of us to the growth in our family.

He starts in his own bed, and then usually joins us at some point in the night, How is DS going to get into our bed, and not trample the new baby.

I don't think I can ban him from the bed, can't see it being good or healthy for there to not only be this new being taking all of his parents attention but now he can't snuggle with his parents as he has literally done since birth.

DH is very hands on, but DS is definitely a mama's boy.

how do you work attachment with two?

poison489

We are on a similar boat, but DS is in our bed all night. I plan on bed sharing with both.  I am going to pick up a bed rail and have baby sleep on the side with the bed rail, and have DS sleep between DH and myself, since he know how to handle himself in bed.  We are going to be investing in a bigger mattress to make sure there is enough room for all.  I don't think our queen is quite going to cut it.

miranda040

This was a concern for us as well. My daughter frequently started in her own bed and then spent the remainder of the night with us.

Once DD2 arrived DD1 slept with us all night long. We couldn't get her in her crib at all. Then she kind of decided on her own that she wanted to sleep in her bed all night long. I think the baby was interfering with her schedule. It happened very naturally and was really awesome. We still have a night or two that she wants to be in our bed, but it is amazing how she just adjusted so easily all on her own.

CountryMile

I do not have a #2 on the way but have thought about this often.  DS is so attached to DH and I especially me.  We want to try for # 2 in a few months.  DS will be 4 years old next year at this time.  (3 years old in a few days)

So I figured I would get a twin size or full size bed for DS room. (He has never slept in his todder bed! haha!) I would spend the first few months in his room with the new LO and DS would stay with DH.  (the rooms are so close to each other)  Once I had things kinda worked out with the newborn I would make my way back to my room.  Our bed has a bedrail now and DS would sleep between DH and I and the new LO next the the bedrail.

DH is on board with bedsharing which is awesome.  I hope that works in the future, but it is something that had always crossed my mind.  

azpharmgirl

I do not have any first hand experience since DD still sleeps with me.  However, a friend of mine said that when her DS goes to her bed in the middle of the night, she has her DH carry their son to his bed after he falls back asleep so he wakes up in his bed.  She said this is to teach him that it is normal to wake up in his room in his bed.  When I asked if this confuses him she said no because she doesn't think he remembers ever leaving his own bed.  Her son was nearly 3 at that time.  Don't know if you have tried this or if it would work for you, but thought I would share.  Good luck!

kcisthebombdotcom

I think you have two options. Try to get your oldest to transiton to his room all night at least a few months prior so he will not feel replaced by the baby, or bedshare with both. There's a few ways to do this. You can sidecar the crib like so https://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/turn-your-crib-into-cosleeper.html or DS can sleep between you and DH, or the baby can sleep on one side of you between a bedrail.

At 4, your oldest will understand what is going on and will likely adapt quickly. I wouldn't be too concerned.

LizB214

Over the last 6 months, we've slowly transitioned DS1 to his own double bed, in his room. One of us goes in and sleeps with him when he wakes at night. Our plan when DS2 comes is that DH will handle all of DS1's night time needs and I will take care of the newborn. DS1 is very much a mama's boy, so we'll see how this goes. Often he's fine with DH going to him at night, but sometimes screams that he wants me and can't be consolled.