Anyone else get a negative reaction to their pregnancy?

nikkisam14

Our 1st u/s was yesterday, so we flipped a coin as to whose parents we would tell first. Of course, with my luck, it was HIS parents.

(quick background of us: we've been together for 10yrs, we both graduated college, we are married, we have jobs, we are renting in nice neighborhood...)

We went to his parents house and I spent a lot of time coming up with a really cute way to tell them. I got these stackable Easter eggs and in the first egg, i wrote a note that said "you never know how much love your heart can hold..." and the second egg said "until a BABY looks up at you can calls you grandma/pa" and the third egg said "your FIRST GRANDBABY will make their debut 11/11/12!"

I also got my MIL a Pandora charm for her bracelet( baby carriage one).

MIL is a little slow, so she was like re-reading everything and trying to figure it out.Eventually she was excited, but of course always says the wrong thing. She like "well you're just gonna have to make it work!" (((?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!!) WTF does that mean?

FIL said "well, that's bad timing." I could go into his plethora of heart stabbing quotes, but he never ONCE said "congratulations" or "im so happy" or "that's great" or ANYTHING showing one ounce of excitement. It's like hey @$$hole....just PRETEND you're happy.  

The thing that got me is that we aren't teenagers  that just "accidentally" got pregnant. We are educated, MARRIED, mature adults who PLANNED on getting pregnant. I don't understand his down right lack of support.I was crushed. It took every single ounce of me to hold back tears and the mouthful I REALLY wanted to let out.

All I know is MY FAMILY will be over-the-moon excited and I absolutely cannot wait to tell them today!

...and for future babies, I might tell the in-laws the day I go into labor! LOL I learned my lesson! seesh! 

SJKB0212

I am so sorry that happened to you. I haven't even told my family members yet. I am assuming I will get a similar reaction from my FIL and SMIL, given their history of unsupportive comments. For instance, when we got engaged, my FIL told my husband "that's a mature decision." So I am sure we will get some comments from him about how we should have travelled more, or babies are expensive, or something along those lines. At first, I get really mad when I think about my FIL but then I start to think, it's really his loss. It's your IL's loss if they don't want to be excited/happy.  

nikkisam14

Exactly!!!

...and he can forget ever being able to watch my baby alone!!! FORGET HIM! he isn't happy, then he can't babysit!

JACKWAGON! 

ahahah

nikkisam14

MamaAlex:

Wow.  I grew up with a mom and stepfather who are the same way.  It could be the most well-planned pregnancy ever and they'd STILL try to make me feel bad about it. (Luckily I cut them out just before I got married... life has been a little sad, but so much calmer!)  Just remember that "Misery loves company", and I'm sure your in-laws will be trying to get you to join them for the rest of your natural lives!

Just kill them with kindness and pretend you're not hearing what they're saying. You have to stay positive because THEY'll be negative either way - fortunately you have 100% control over whether you join them or not.

(That lesson took me FOREVER to learn but once  I got it, I'm SO much happier!) 

 Congratulations! I'M very excited for you!!!! 

   thank you!!!! :-)

elise5323

I really sympathize with that, it is so dissapointing.  My husband and I just returned from a vacation in Florida, where we visited with his father.  This was the first time we saw him since we told him the news, and I asked "So how do you feel about being a Grandpa?" This being his first grandchild I thought I was going to get a postive answer, and the reply was "Well, we'll see in November".  That's it...could not believe it!  Yes for me too I am very excited to share the news with the rest of my family on Easter, and know it will be very positive...I guess that's all we can do is focus on those responses, and hopefully the others warm up when they actually see these babies!!

munchkinmommy09

Aww. I'm sorry . I can relate. This is my second, and my sister has had negative reactions both times. Last time, she didn't talk to me for my entire pregnancy. My stepfather also had a horrible reaction this time. Not really surprising considering he basically ignores the fact that my daughter exists. Just remember that you can't control other people, but you can control how you react. If they want to be immature, it's their loss. 

anchalmasako

Ha. Same here with my MIL. See my above post. Craziness! I thought the exact thing, "We're married, we have college degrees, DH has a job, why are you so concerned?"

milesc

anchalmasako:

Ha. Same here with my MIL. See my above post. Craziness! I thought the exact thing, "We're married, we have college degrees, DH has a job, why are you so concerned?"

 

As shocked as you may be when you hear things like this, I instantly try and turn it around on them to put them on the spot and see if they realize how they sound.

Id be ?ber blunt, have you asked them why they don't seem happy about it? Or what they meant my their comments?

Stay strong momma, I'm sorry. That sucks, but I'm glad your family will be happy for you DON'T let them bring you down... No one should EVER make you feel bad for being pregnant. 

BeaBear

I have a 10 month year son. When we told her she didn"t speak to us for days. She thinks we don"t need more children because we have a son with special needs. Some people are just "@$$hole"s. The two most important people are happy- you and your DH.

laurenbrooke_09

I dread telling my family with every ounce of my being. Believe me, they will have nothing positive to say. This baby was a total surprise, I definitely didn't want to get pregnant while I have a 3 month old, but it happened. If they don't like it then they can just stay away. 

GHBEA

We wont be telling until late May.  But I know every one will be excited it's how our families are.

As for your ILs how rude of them.  Hopefully they will come around. 

CCLoar

I get how you feel. We had a daughter with a genetic disorder and everyone feels like we should never have kids again. We have a healthy 6 year old as well

Sporkmoostipe

First off, I'm so sorry that you got such a bad reaction.

My in laws reacted very negatively to my first pregnancy. When we told them, my husband was so excited he was crying and they were "How did this happen?" "Didn't you use protection?" and so on and so forth. Their bad reaction really, really hurt. We are also two educated people, we both had jobs at the time, and we both knew we wanted kids. Apparently what was going "against us" was that we had only been married 9 months. Needless to say, right now, I have a very happy, very spoiled son who literally is spoiled rotten from both sides of the family.

I understand now why they reacted the way they did. My sister in law had a late term loss and after that, they both had a very hard time getting excited over any pregnancy. When my SIL lost the baby, it really devastated them.

This pregnancy...well, I have gotten a variety of reactions. Until the other day, the first person to congratulate me was my doctor. The reaction I was getting up until the other day was blank stares and speechlessness. Lately, the reactions have been happier and less like "WTF DID YOU DO!?"

BTW: My in laws reacted much better this time and are beyond excited. 

sabrescinderella

I am so sorry that happened, my in laws are the same way. We announced to them and they said will the worlds going to end a month or so later, like wtf? My parents are beyond excited.

Emu1085

I'm sorry that happened to you. When my husband told my MIL all she said was "oh", like it was no big deal. My in-laws haven't been very supportive ever since we got engaged. They felt as though the money we were spending on our wedding would have been better spent paying them back for some financial help they gave us. We had been sending them payments whenever we could. So now we're not going to bother updating them until after I give birth.

Megaloo05

Im so sorry you got that reaction. Some people just don't think before they open their mouths. You are better then me. I would have said something. I don't care who they are. A few months ago (before we were pregnant), I said something and his response was "please don't tell me your pregnant." I was shocked and he knew it. I told him how rude it was to say that. We are married, educated and have a house. Needless to say he doesn't know yet. He will probably be the last one we tell.

Milliways

Can I just point that merely being married, having a college degree, and a job does not mean you are ready for a baby.  I mean, 3 years ago I was married with a job and a college degree but I hardly fit to take care of myself not another life. That is pretty stupid reasoning IMHO.

 

Kiyoshima

I am so sorry that their reaction wasn't better, but once it really sinks in that there is a baby coming I'm sure that they will be over the moon. I'm nervous to tell my dad even though my husband and I have been married for almost 8 years and we just bought a house. Sometimes people just need to come around on their own!