Blended Families

Can I vent? Not BF related

My mom is driving me insane.  My dad was admitted to the ICU last week, he is now out of the ICU and in a regular recovery room but for a minute there we thought he wouldn't make it.  Now it looks like he will make a full recovery.

I have been balancing work, grad school, trying to visit dad as much as I can and on top of this, my mother keeps calling to ask me to do things for her that I can't do (because I'm swamped) and she gets mad at me.  Example: she wanted me to go to the doctor and pick up her FMLA paperwork and bring it to her house.  I had a eye doctors appointment and a friend coming over so I told her I didn't have time to bring it all the way across town (she lives 5 minutes from the doctors office and I live 15 minutes from her).  Today I have to clean the house, visit my dad, drive 40 minutes away to grad school to work on some stats, go to the grocery store, and work on my paper before DH gets back with my SDs around dinner time.  Just now, she called.  She wants me to help her bring her 6 lb dog to the vet.  I wrangle my 16 lb terrier and my 65 lb bulldog in one visit. WHYYYYY does she need me to do this?  So now she's mad that I can't help her.  I am getting so frustrated with her.  She also got mad at me yesterday because I'm letting SDs get more involved than her for this baby thing.  We wanted to tell them first but I told my dad before they sedated him in case he didn't wake up and she was pissed that we wanted to tell the kids first.  I forgot to mention she SHOWED UP unannounced at my OBs office during my confirmation appointment and burst into tears when I said "Mom what are you DOING here?" and caused a big scene.

I am seriously feeling smothered by her, which was the #1 reason I agreed to move halfway across the country with DH in 2007.  She is getting so clingy and I can't stand it.  I don't know if this is because my dad is sick, or what.

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Re: Can I vent? Not BF related

  • Vent away sister. Does your dad "handle" everything at home usually? She does sound very needy. Is this behavior more needy than usual when your dad is well?
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  • They are pretty codependent and superweird about the dogs.  Dad handles some stuff but my mom is very needy.  It has gotten worse since dad got sick, maybe she is lonely?  I dont know what the deal is.  She has also been calling at 6:30 every morning to tell us dad is still the same as the day before so now i have to leave my phone in the kitchen at night.  im at my wits end!
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  • I'm afraid I have no advice, but venting is good. I can' t believe she just showed up for your dr's appointment, that's out of line.
  • You have us to vent to. A big hug! Wish the best for your dads recovery!!
  • Sounds like it's probably because your dad is sick and she's feeling a little helpless.  Maybe once he's better a little counseling would be in order for your mom? 
    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
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