Months after the EDD

karebear57

I had a bad blah day yesterday...well, off and on (more on) since my EDD in jan. I mean, the days leading up to it and THE day weren't as bad as I thought it would be, but since I passed it it's been kinda more down than up. Just 2 days ago I was laughing and everything. Then yesterday I just shut down it felt like. I wasn't mad, sad or anything, not even hungry. I don't know what the point to this vent is but has anyone else felt like this after their EDD? Also I don't think it helps much to have a reminder of what I'm missing out on living behind me so maybe that's just making my flare-ups worse.

DesiraeSunshine

I've come to accept thatthis is going to happen for the rest of my life. I feel that it is progress that I have more good days than bad. I think as loss moms that in the beginning we tell ourselves it will get better and we wait for a day that it wont hurt anymore. I don't know if it ever gets to that point. A year out and somedays the pain feels fresh.

tubbsy32

Almost like you feel numb?? That's how I feel a lot lately; just blah, no desire to do anything or to even react to things. I was just thinking that I have been having more bad days than good days lately too. I think the reality of losing Jacob just keeps sinking in deeper and deeper, and the reality that we will NEVER be the same has hit me. I'm sorry we are all going through this.

weddedwife

I feel like this. I was actually doing ok leading up to my EDD, and was really numb the whole week before. After it passed, I feel I've gone downhill. I've had more bad days than good since then too (my EDD was March 3). Like PP said, it's the reality that my son is dead that is sinking in more and more. Before my EDD I wouldn't have had my son with me, because I should've still been pg. But after,  he should've been here so each day is one more day without him. Also, I think it's the realities of what my life is like now socially that is really making it hard. The support system has kind of tapered off & now I feel like I'm "on my own".

Big hugs to you, I'm there with you!

karebear57

Thank you ladies for showing me that I'm not bipolar now! My mom was when I was younger (not controlled well)and, man, I feel like my mind's slipping.