Unsolicited advice makes me want to scream

Snarling Fox

With our impending loss, we shared the news with both my mom and mil. And of course, came mil's motherly advice. 

I travel almost every week - mh and I live/work on opposite coasts. No way to avoid this - I work my dream job and there's no way I'd give this up. So after the sympathies, came the advice (read it as blame)  that maybe its: too much travel, or too much time changes, maybe we should cut back on flying. Grrr! Then MH tried to change the subject and mention that since this didn't work out, we are planning a nice long exotic vacation around Thanksgiving. Then the same advice gets thrown out again. Thank goodness I was not in on the convo. Not sure I wouldve held my tongue.  If this was that advice was true then that would make flights attendants and pilots all suffer from IF which I highly doubt. 

What fun craptastic advice have you recently received? 

luvboston

If you just stay still you won't miscarry, so stay lying down 24/7

kmc84

Oh good grief! People suck! I am always getting the stop trying so hard, go on vacation, get drunk, don't be so stressed about treatments! And my favorite why don't you just adopt....then you'll get pregnant!  It makes me want to scream also....sigh... The newest gem is once you get pregnant with IVF you won't be able to stop getting pregnant......yea, because I'm sure that'll happen...eye roll

Snarling Fox

luvboston:

If you just stay still you won't miscarry, so stay lying down 24/7

Hah! That's just pathetic. Even if they gave me 9 additional months for maternity, I can't see how lying down that long would be healthy. Go smack that person for me! please  

Roxie5739

From a fellow IVF'er, only person I have told as I thought she would understand..... that if this cycle does not work that a friend of her's (same sex relationship) used a turkey baster after their failed IVF and voila! they got pregnant. WTF!!!!

 

Faith722

(((HUGS)))

That's horrible that she would imply you're to blame!!  I love YH's idea of staying away for the holidays.  I'd skip seeing her for several holidays if that's how she feels.

Gregermis

Want mine? Ive had about 5 people offer recently *gigantic eye roll*

Snarling Fox

Roxie5739:

From a fellow IVF'er, only person I have told as I thought she would understand..... that if this cycle does not work that a friend of her's (same sex relationship) used a turkey baster after their failed IVF and voila! they got pregnant. WTF!!!!

 

Is it bad that I am now trying to imagine the steps used for said turkey baster process?  If MH ever pulled a turkey baster out - real or suggested, I'd probably pee myself from laughter then slap him with it. And seriously - isnt the peni it's own turkey Baster like tool? 

SweetDahlia

I'm sorry for your loss:<

Over 5 years I have heard the stupidest sh!it. The it was God's plan, you are trying to hard, you aren't trying hard enough, just adopt, why do you even want kids, I could go and and on. My favorite though was women have m/c all the time, you just get over it. Or so and so had 5 before she went on to have 6 kids.  WTF?? I hate stupid people.

Nothing you did could have caused you m/c. Hugs to you.

Whales124

I'm sorry for your loss

The ridiculous comments around every corner have literally put me over the edge this week.  People have absolutely no idea, but what's worse is they are  CONVINCED that they know all about it.  I have taken after others on here and am avoiding Easter with both families and can't wait!  Hope you can enjoy your weekend a bit!

MrsNukem

luvboston:

If you just stay still you won't miscarry, so stay lying down 24/7

I think I'd want to throat punch someone if they said this to me!

Dstevens429

What fun craptastic advice have you recently received?  

Love this!  Most recently I got the " Well doesn't IVF take a few tries before it works" and the dreaded "Don't worry when it's meant to be it will happen"  

I don't know if this counts as advice but everytime I hear people say these things I think in my head...Can I slap them yet?? LOL 

 

Sophistikitty

I am so sorry to see you back here!  ((huge hugs))

In regards to unsolicited advice... My doozies recently have been the unsolicited opinions from my MIL.  The first was... ?Why on earth did you wait so long??, which almost sent me through the roof!  Did she forget that her son had a severe back injury that took almost four and half years to recover from???  Then came, ?Well there?s always adoption?. Arrggghhhhh!!!

mandyandmike2009

Are you sure you even want kids? My kids are awful and expensive. Think of the money and headaches you will save. Really? 

kaf7

I was tucking a 5y old cousin into bed last night and he was asking me how babies are born. His mom came in and they started talking about how only girls have babies but once he was older and married he could help make a baby or he could adopt a baby because babies come to families in different ways. His next thought was..."or you could just find a baby!"

This wasn't really advice, but it made me laugh. If only it was that easy....
Anyone remember "Murmel, murmel, murmel" by Robert Munsch?

LeoLauren

I didn't get anything fantastically craptastic until this past Friday - right after i told my mom that IVF #1 didn't work, she said - why don't you let your sister be your surrogate?  I literally hung up the phone. WTF???????