Ummm, how do I say this nicely?

LuckEinLuv

I thought that our Facebook page was for us late loss mamas. We just added someone who had an early miscarriage. She is an extremely sweet woman and I have nothing against her, but I thought that was our place for people who understand. I am already in 2 fb groups for woman with all types of loss. It was nice to have somewhere to go where I didn't have people comparing my loss to theirs where they weren't even far enough along to determine the sex of the baby. I know this may come off as harsh, but I felt it needed to be said. 

magdalina.h

I added everyone who requested because I don't know their story when they are requesting. I don't know what to do from here.

LuckEinLuv

OK. I didn't mean for the post to be mean. It was just nice to have our own space. I was just wondering how other people felt about it. 

DesiraeSunshine

I think it was made clear that the group is for later loss or infant loss moms, so it shouldn't be a biggie to nicely explain that and remove theposter. Make sure she isn't a late loss mom who most recntly MC tho.

Auki13

I think I know who we are talking about and she doesn't post here- rather the TTCAL board and she never said anything about a late loss in the past. Maybe she didn't realize its a late loss board, but I agree that I would like to keep it for us.

pb127

DesiraeSunshine:

I think it was made clear that the group is for later loss or infant loss moms, so it shouldn't be a biggie to nicely explain that and remove theposter. Make sure she isn't a late loss mom who most recntly MC tho.

I would like to keep the FB for just us as well. This board is open and clearly has a ton of lurkers but it would be nice to have a little privacy as well.

She is a very nice person and a very supportive person on TTCAL, so I'm sure she would understand if we just needed a little private space to share our journeys.

figgs0831

DesiraeSunshine:

I think it was made clear that the group is for later loss or infant loss moms, so it shouldn't be a biggie to nicely explain that and remove theposter. Make sure she isn't a late loss mom who most recntly MC tho.

weddedwife

I kind of agree.

I didn't know the board was open though.. does that mean people who aren't in the group can see our posts? I thought it was secret.

pb127

weddedwife:

I kind of agree.

I didn't know the board was open though.. does that mean people who aren't in the group can see our posts? I thought it was secret.

Sorry, I meant *this* board, "Loss" is open. The FB wall is secret.

jgengo0

Could I possibly get a link to this FB board?

LuckEinLuv

I am fb friends with the person so I would be happy to explain to her. I just didn't want to overstep if it wasn't the feelings of the group. 

johnnys june

jgengo0:

Could I possibly get a link to this FB board?

Me too, please?! 

olp79

hi, i would like to join too! I clicked on the link and just went into the main page of fb...weird

Mjmksb04

Another suggestion--when someone wants the FB link, could we start PMing it instead of posting it on this public board?

samakasrc

Mjmksb04:

Another suggestion--when someone wants the FB link, could we start PMing it instead of posting it on this public board?

I'm sorry! It sounds rediculous but I didn't think about PMing the link instead :-/  I guess I just figured since it'd been posted before I'd go ahead and repost it. Sorry!  I did go ahead and delete the post that had the link in it....

LuckEinLuv

You can't just follow the link since it is a secret group. Someone has to already be fb friends with the new people. So someone has been inviting new people which is great, but we now have at least 2 early loss ladies. I am PMing the first one, but is anyone fb friends with the other early loss mom?

weddedwife

Could we put a description on the group, that explains that the group is for moms who have suffered a late loss? That might help. That way if the early loss moms end up there they'll kind of see what type of group it is?

BeccaMarie

Popping out of hiding for one post - it is not a secret group, it is a closed group. (there is a difference). I would join if it was secret...

LuckEinLuv

Oh, that explains a lot Becca. It used to be secret. Perhaps it was changed to let new people in?  It should be put back to secret. 

StephK86

I am so glad you said it. I have been wanting to but didn't want to be the mean one. Our group is for us late loss/stillbirth/infant loss moms. I feel bad saying this but the other ladies don't quite get how we feel. Edited: So this doesn't come off wrong. I am not saying early loss ladies are not devastated when they lose their angels. I know they are sad and miss their babies too. We have just been through some more steps when having a later loss.

CashewsMommy

Even though I had a late loss, I never post on here. However in my lurking, I did see this post and have to ask, did this really need to be posted on here? If it was only one person, maybe you could have sent her a private message on FB or on TB to just let her know that it was a group for late losses. Maybe she was added on accident? Instead a big post is made, with now with almost 1,500 views... you've probably made this one single person feel so small.

 

 

StephK86:

I am so glad you said it. I have been wanting to but didn't want to be the mean one. Our group is for us late loss/stillbirth/infant loss moms. I feel bad saying this but the other ladies don't quite get how we feel. Edited: So this doesn't come off wrong. I am not saying early loss ladies are not devastated when they lose their angels. I know they are sad and miss their babies too. We have just been through some more steps when having a later loss.

I'm glad you edited it. People really need to think about how they say things, because I know a lot of women who could have taken that the wrong way. The pain is different, yes, but it's not any less. It really bothers me when late loss mommas say that their pain is a lot worse than a m/c. Having had both, I know that they both hurt like hell. Late losses, infant loss, early m/c and any other kind of loss all lose the hopes and dreams you had for that child. No pain is worse.

I'm glad you ladies have that FB group to connect with people who are feeling the same exact things that you're feeling. I know when I connected with tlcW0714 it was a wonderful thing! 

 

 

 

 

Going back to lurking now.