Baby Showers
professorplum
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gift opening for large party
professorplum
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in Baby Showers
My wife and I are planning a large, picnic-type shower/party that will be co-ed and child-friendly. There will be food, drinks, lawn games, etc and we have a rather large guest list. I'm torn about what to do for gift opening as it is not a traditional shower but I also feel the need to pay respect to people who bring gifts. If I sit and open them all, it may take hours, but I also know that some people love to see all that stuff. Does anyone have any ideas about this?
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Re: gift opening for large party
I'm torn on this also since I wanted our shower co-ed and more fun less cutesy. Some mentioned to make an announcement and ask guests that would like their gifts opened to let you know. Another idea is to open them off to the side or just as people come in and not make a big deal of it. Good luck!!
A couple of questtions...
Are you hosting this yourself?
Are you including registry info on the invite?
The answers will dictate my response.
I like this idea. Since it's child-friendly and you're throwing it together, how about you make an announcement (at the shower/party) "ok, MTB is going to open gifts now, so if all you children would like to come join me over here, we're going to play a fun game"? That way, you don't have to worry about the cihldren getting bored, and your guests can decide whether they want to watch you open gifts or watch/play with their children (I'm guessing, since it's co-ed, both parents will be there in most cases?). Some people might say that attracting attention to your wife opening gifts seems grabby, though, so this depends on how you think your guests will handle the idea.
If you are hosting your own shower (whether or not is it "non-traditional), stop. Please don't.
Yep. This. Need answers.
http://pandce.****/index.cgi#general
Especially because it sounds like a huge shin-dig. Totally gift grabby if it is being portrayed as a shower and is that big. Call it a party, find some other name for it, but calling it a shower means gifts are expected. And it is never okay to ask for gifts.
I am not hosting myself - my mother and sister-in-law will be hosting. Registry info will be included on the invite.
Yes, you need to open your gifts. Your guest list may be large, but remember you're not getting a gift per guest - you'll more likely get a gift from each family attending. It will take about 1 minute per gift, so 1 hour tops at 60 families - which is getting a bit ridiculous as far as guest lists go anyhow. Because assuming an average of 3 people per family, you're heading towards 200 guests. That's more than most people invite to their wedding.
Color me confused. If your mother and SIL are hosting, why are you planning anything?
http://pandce.****/index.cgi#general
Why not have the kids open the gifts while the men drink and play cornhole and the women prepare the food and then clean up afterwards?
I'm joking, but you know that's what's going to happen anyways. If you want to be polite about it though, your husband should take a break from cornhole and the 2 of you should open up each and every gift withuot any help, and express your sincere gratitude to each and every giver. You can let your MIL and SIL write down who gave what if you really want to make them feel like hostesses.
The OP mentioned a wife. So the OP is either a male or in a same-sex marriage. Not that it really changes anything.
Either way, this whole post is confusing and seems to have some uncover backpedaling.
Ah... you're one of "those".
See, usually when people host a party, that means that they're planning it. My mom and sister hosted my shower. They asked me what kind of cake I wanted. That's it. I'm not rude enough to dictate what type of gift my mom and sister should bestow upon me.
http://pandce.****/index.cgi#general
No, what you're doing is hosting your party but having someone else pay for it.
Aren't you a peach...
Because it is a gift to you from someone else.
This. And, society has norms and rules for (most) things that are legit. For example, society looks down upon beating your animals. I guess you could beat your dog if you really want to, just like you could host your own shower, but we as outsiders have the right to judge the sh!t out of you for it.
Not everywhere. Fine, how bout marrying your cousin? Perfectly legal in most states but nasty.
Bad etiquette should be illegal.
The importance some people place on showers amazes me. A once in a lifetime event is your wedding or the birth of your child; not a party.
Unless your host specifically asks for your input, you need to back off. Your day won't be ruined if every detail isn't exactly how you imagined it. If it is, you're far too ungrateful to have someone plan a shower for you in the first place.
I think some people are forgetting that some hosts DO want things to be decided by the mom/dad to be. My stepmom emailed me and said she wants to have a shower for us, suggested it be co-ed since she already guessed we'd like it that way, and asked me specific questions regarding where I'd want it, when, who, cake appearance, invitations... I had to stop her, because she offered to just give me her credit card number to order the invites and put my number/address on them and send them myself. I told her I'd gladly order the (pre printed) invites, make sure it includes return labels with her/my dad's address, and all she'd have to do is put them in the envelopes, address them, and send them out.
Her attitude is that she wants to do this for us, but if I have ideas and can save her some deliberation, she's all for it. Meanwhile, the only thing I insisted on without being asked was that it not be held at their house--they have 3 cats and even if the shower was outside, MIL wouldn't be able to go in to use the bathroom because she is violently allergic to cats. I do agree that it's pretty crappy to answer "can I throw your shower?" with "Sure! Here's how it has to be..."
blog! thescenery.net
Beating a dead horse is also frowned upon but some of you tacky gift grabbers (cough cough handburger cough) make us do it all of the time on this board. We don't like to beat the poor dead horsey, but we have no choice.
You want an idea in regards to gift opening, do it. There are no other polite ideas.
I for one do not see a problem with what you asked however I also come from one of those amazing families who don't always follow "etiquette" but have a good time. We help eachother out for all family event even if it is our own event do yea my aunt who is technically hosting in everyone else's book will be recieving help from me. I'm going to help cook and clean for the shower ( I know Gasp!) but she also asked for my opinion on somethings. Also I have seen a shower with 30 some people where people gift wrapped individually entire laundry baskets of things so no gifts can take way more than one minute to open. For my best friend between her and dh moving at a reasonable polite speed it took 3 hours to Open gifts I understand why you wouldn't want to spend all day doing it
Don?t pretend you know anything about me. No one said anything about being a gift grabber. I see nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate our first child the way we want to celebrate. Frankly gifts have nothing to do with it. Personally expecting someone to host, pay for and plan the entire event seems rude to me. I guess being a princess on my high horse is just NMS.It makes no sense to host and pay for your own shower. If you are going to do this you might as well skip the shower keep the money and use it to buy the things you need for the baby. Why would people want to bring you gifts if your spending money on a party that could be used on your the baby. MAKES NO SENSE.
I don't think being a princess has anything to do with it. It's just common sense the the MTB doesn't come out of her pocket for a shower with money she could be spending on the baby. Defeats the whole purpose of the shower. If you want to throw a party you can do that, just don't register for gifts or call it a shower because if your paying for it, it is not a shower...it is a break even.
OH SNAP! "You don't know me!!!"
Please.
I know YOU don't see anything wrong with "wanting to celebrate our first child the way we want to celebrate." That's the problem...you're feeling entitled because you're knocked up. If you think it's rude to have someone host, pay for and plan your shower, then you shouldn't have one...end of story. A shower is something someone offers to you as a gift...the party IS the gift. If you want to have a party to celebrate and do everything yourself, then don't put the registry info on there and don't call it a shower, because by definition it can't BE a shower. If you honestly don't see anything with gathering a group of your friends and family together and telling them to bring you presents, which is what a shower is--a gift-giving event, then you're never going to get it and shouldn't peruse this board anymore. The ladies here aren't going to stroke your hair and tell you that it's OK to be rude as long as you're happy.
And yes, you're putting WAY, WAY too much importance on a baby shower. Like the PP said, it's not a wedding, it's not the birth of your baby. It is simply a party where people buy you crap, half of which you'll never use. A couple of years from now, you'll seriously think back and wonder what you thought the big deal was.
This is such a Bump thing...I've never hosted or had a shower that the MTB didn't have some say in things. Why are people always shocked about that?
Yikes! ...and I am going to carefully put my two cents in. Just a personal opinion. Society has lots of "Dos" and "Donts" and blah blah blahs. But honestly, who cares. Some hosts ask if the person receiving the shower would like to be involved. Who gives a hoot? Who gives a hoot if you throw your own baby shower? I don't. I am happy enough for the person having the shower. A shower in itself is about fun, life, love, happiness... and yes gifts. Lets be honest. And my husband and I threw our own wedding.... people brought gifts. Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal. Our society has changed in a multitude of ways. Ladies we talk about etiquette but being rude to a fellow bumpie isn't very good etiquette.
I don't want to continue the argument by any means, and I understand I am contributing to it. I just really felt like sharing my opinion about that. Especially since the poor thing is getting bashed. That's not right.
Wow, Jennifer! You're so insightful! You've given us all so much to think about...
You're missing the point. A wedding isn't a gift giving event. A wedding SHOWER is solely to receive gifts...a wedding isn't. Now people do get gifts, but it's not "mandatory" for a wedding. For a shower, it is.
As far as registries go, you're not require to buy off them. It is simply a traditional list of things that you need for your home (wedding shower) or nursery (baby shower). You're not telling people what to buy. You're not saying "you need to buy me this carseat." They have the choice of purchasing whatever they want. The registry info is provided only as a courtesy to the guests if they would like to purchase something off of it, which has become traditional. You're grasping at straws. Society has rules for a reason...etiquette isn't something that goes out of style.